When you suddenly become widowed or single you don't really know what your place is in the world. Do people like you or did they like your partner & put up with you? Did you only put up with them because they were your partners friends? Gradually over time you learn who your friends are & establish a different dynamic.
I am very lucky to have really good friends. Some are couples & I really like both of them, one or two are singletons like me. Some are friends I've had for more years than I can remember, some are newer friends I have made since I was widowed. They are all very different people, but all are valued & even loved. My life would be poorer without them
The socks analogy comes about because with some really special people the friendship is just so easy & symbiotic. Even after a period of absence the friendship renews immediately. We all benefit from it I hope. It's as comforting & warm as an old pair of bedsocks. We all enjoy each others company & would be "there" for each other should the need arise.
I'm really sad when I think of the huge number of people who are lonely, isolated in their homes, with no one who really cares. I think you have to get into the habit of being outward & forward looking. The trick is to try to leave the past behind & welcome the present & those who inhabit it.
It sounds so easy, but for some it's too big a mountain to climb & they just haven't got the confidence or the energy. Perhaps we all need to help them more. The question is how.
(My apologies to all my friends for comparing them to old socks!)
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