A new Ensuite - 4

Monday

Beginning of the 2nd week. RH arrived promptly at 7.30 having not resolved the problem of his swollen thumb since Friday. It is a worry for trades people, they rely on being physically fit.

We had a discussion about the wall hung wash basin - which he didn't realise had to be higher than the previous one & moved to a more central position on the wall. Good job he had asked me about whether to remove the tiles, because if he hadn't I would have assumed that he knew. As it is I now realise that the basin itself is the same compact size that I am using in the spare bedroom ensuite. It's too small for someone who likes to splash their face when they wash. You end up banging against the central tap & getting water everywhere. Why the manufacturers don't give you the option of a tap offset on one side I can't imagine. Why do women think of practicalities & function & men don't?

So I texted the designer AK & asked for options before we open the packaging so it can be returned & exchanged. Went to showroom to look at bigger alternative basin which also has a cupboard underneath. Dithered because the new tap is smaller & doesn't project into the basin as much as the one I'm using.

Decisions, decisions. You really need to be around when work is being done on the house to try to anticipate problems before they become real issues. I don't know how people having work done can just leave it to the builders.

I also don't understand why men are averse to forward planning, making lists & ensuring they have everything they need before they start a job. Or is it just a way of having a break, which I can understand - sort of. Anyway RH left at lunchtime again. On the other hand the sealant gunge does have to "go off" before he can start tiling.

When I said how much I was looking forward to getting back into my bedroom on Friday there was a long pause. Apparently I shouldn't look forward to it too much! Up to that point he had been pleased at how well & how quickly the job was going!

A New Ensuite - 3 - Wet Rooms

Thursday - It's very interesting watching the construction of a wet room. Having tiled a bathroom in my youth I'm intrigued at just how much more there is to a wet room. Everything is taken back to a shell & then the floor & the walls are built up through several layers. The materials are lightweight & technical, but will be completely impervious.

The floorboards were stripped out so extra joists could be inserted to stop movement which could crack the membranes & tiles. Very lightweight tanking boards cover the floor & walls with special impervious corners & strips to seal all the joints. Then gunge is applied. There are special washers to spread the load when the boards are screwed to the walls.

Once all the tanking is done & the hidden shower tray is installed, hopefully by the end of this Friday, the tiling can begin. It's looking good that it will be done after another week.

Friday - Noooo! Hush my mouth.

Yesterday we discovered a leak where a boiler vent isn't attached to the soil stack. Leaking acidic water - We thought since the new boiler was installed two & a half years ago. My original plumber, S W,  popped in as soon as I texted this morning & it's because the soil stack was turned through 90 degrees to accommodate the new position of the WC. It snapped the vent pipe. However the good news is that it will be relatively simple to put right & the water hasn't been leaking for years as we thought initially.

My installer's right hand is very swollen today so he has to go at lunchtime to see his GP.

I may have to "camp" for longer than another week, but I was only without water for a day!

Pilgrimage - Karma & A Life Journey

Pilgrimage - a journey or search of moral or spiritual significance. Typically, a journey to a shrine or other location of importance to a person's faith, although sometimes it can be a metaphorical journey into someone's own beliefs.

I would suggest that our lives can be seen as a pilgrimage, certainly a journey, hopefully learning & developing a better understanding on the way to the inevitable end. At the beginning we are a "clean slate" at the end we are the sum total of our experiences & capacity for understanding. A lot depends on the effort we put in as to how " enlightened" we are at the end. Have our lives been significant and beneficial? Is our legacy worthwhile in some small way?

I have done actual pilgrimages to the Camino de Santiago in Northern Spain & to the Holy Land. Both were really interesting experiences. (I have to be honest & say I only walked small parts of the Camino). I have also been away on several meditation retreats, which were an oasis of calm in a busy life.

This is not to say that I am "religious" in terms of any of the established churches. I'm definitely not.  I have my own moral compass & spirituality though. I suppose Buddhism comes closest to my spiritual thinking.

Journeys have a beginning, a middle and an end. We are born, we live & we die. I believe in Karma - which means action, work or deed. It also refers to the spiritual principle of cause & effect, where the intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect). Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering.

Even if Karma isn't true I can't help feeling that if we all believed in it it might give us pause before we do something unworthy, unkind, thoughtless or downright cruel. I hope it is true because there seem to be a lot of people in the world today who deserve to reap the suffering of their actions or inactions.

A New Ensuite - 2

The first 2 days were capping off the plumbing & stripping out. Today & tomorrow are going to be carpentry - floor & a wall. There are plusses. Not all the walls have to be stripped of tiles. All has gone smoothly so far. Unlike my kitchen saga the installers arrive when they say they will, do a full days work & don't clear off for hours or even days.

The minuses are the dust everywhere, the noise & the van loads of rubbish for the tip. But I'm confident it will be worth waiting for.

Yesterday's highlight was that RH brought his gorgeous chocolate Cocker Spaniel Bella with him. He is going to breed from her when she comes into season soon. I may well be tempted even though I said I don't want a puppy or a pedigree dog. That would be a bonus.

PS
Shouldn't have said it! My carpenter D discovered a leak from the boiler this morning. The plumbers who installed the new boiler didn't connect a pipe from the boiler to the waste, so it must have been dripping ever since inside the boxing in. It became obvious because the boxing in was opened up to install the new WC. It is easily fixed when RH comes back tomorrow, but so annoying when you have trusted someone to do a professional job. AND it was dripping on an electrical connection!

On the plus side - A man knocked on my door around tea time yesterday & asked if the sanitary ware in my car port was going to the tip. If so could he have it. Absolutely delighted that it was taken away there and then & will be re-cycled & used in his house. He is a teacher with 4 children so I imagine he will be pleased to save a lot of money. That's the bonus of living in a city. Stuff does get recycled by passers by.

NHS Appointments & Patient Records

I think that the default position of the NHS is that patients have all the time in the world available & should be grateful for an appointment. We don't have time pressures, jobs or family commitments. We are happy to sit in waiting rooms, often not particularly comfortably, & watch the medics world go by.

I spend a lot of time seeing doctors, nurses & consultants & I am tired of waiting, sometimes for interminable lengths of time, for someone to see me. An appointment is an appointment. There should be some flexibility on both parts, but basically if the consult isn't within certain perameters of time it isn't an appointment.

I do understand that doctors have to deal with emergencies, particularly GP's. In that case the patient should be informed speedily & given the option of another appointment or a different doctor.

What I don't understand is what happened to me today. A routine blood test with a nurse. A very quiet surgery, at 9.15 in the morning before a time lag should have built up. Just one other patient in the waiting room. No patients with the nurse that I saw leave. A matter of minutes for a simple test.

I waited for over 15 minutes. There was no apology or explanation for the delay. I actually think this is a culture of rudeness & inconsiderate to the patient. I can imagine the response if patients were to treat appointments in the same casual way.

To add insult to injury I asked for a printout of my last full blood tests a fortnight ago. The receptionist said she couldn't do it - no problem. The nurse also said she couldn't do it because it had to be signed off by a doctor. She also said that my records belong to the surgery.

Under the Data Protection Act 1998, you have a legal right to apply for access to health information held about you. This includes your NHS or private health records held by a GP, optician, dentist or by a hospital. If you want to see your health records, you don't have to give a reason. It is known as a Subject Access Request (SAR). Nothing in the law prevents healthcare professionals from informally showing you your own records. Some GPs have given online access to their patients’ GP records for some time.

From April 2015 all GPs should give their patients online access to summary information in their records. This is part of the drive to provide more GP online services to patients. It should give you more control of your health and well-being, especially if you are managing conditions that need regular monitoring and frequent prescriptions like me.

I was advised to make an appointment to see my GP. When I said I thought this was a waste of her time the nurse suggested I email the surgery FAO my GP and ask for the blood results. As far as I am concerned it is my body and therefore my records. In this age of modern communication I should be able to access my records as and when I want. It doesn't seem to me to be asking a lot.

A New Ensuite Bathroom

I started the process of chosing a new bathroom in September. I ordered it in October & confirmed the installer in November. The installer, R H, came to begin this morning - A good installer is busy months in advance.

It's truly amazing how long these things take. The whole process is long winded. You have to look at a lot of bathroom showrooms, talk to a lot of salespeople & installers to know exactly what you want. In the beginning you don't know the questions to ask or what is available. If the people are good they think of things that you wouldn't have done. Each conversation moved me forward & opened up new possibilities. Looking through catalogues revealed just how much choice there is.

In the end, my designer / supplier A K, came up with a great design, which will make my very small ensuite much, much, better. He has moved the WC to a different position & it will be wall hung, so a much more comfortable height for me. There is going to be a built in cupboard over the WC with a built in mirror & shaver point. (My current ensuite doesn't have one at all). I won't have my knees up against the pedastal & my face in the washbasin! (Useful when you have a sickness & diahorrea bug though!)

I'm also having a wall hung washbasin with a wall hung cupboard under for storage. I won't have to bend double to wash my face or splash water all over the floor. I'm 5ft 8ins, so I hate pedastal basins. They are designed for children & midgets.

The real joy of wall hung is that you can easily mop the whole floor - Well, my cleaner can.

The "piece de resistance" is the shower enclosure. The existing one was a curved corner shower you had to climb into. It was far too small & I banged my arms every time I showered. I'm having a completely tiled "wet room" with two 1m bi-fold doors at right angles to make a square shower area. Because these doors fold right back to the wall the whole floor space is available except when I shower. As I live on my own I can only do one thing at a time, wash, use the WC or shower. The whole room will be available for the majority of the time & will look far more spacious.

Whoever chose the existing matt khaki coloured floor & wall tiles in a tiny ensuite with no natural light had no idea or taste. The new tiles, plus an additional downlight, will make the whole room much lighter & more pleasant to be in.

A new bathroom isn't cheap. But you use it every single day & I'm worth it.







                        

Smombies & Phombies

"Smombie" is a portmanteau word of smartphone & zombie. A new word coined in Germany describing people who are so distracted by their constant eyes on their smartphone that they don't notice anything in their environment because they only stare at the screen. I would have thought that the condition is universal.

It's similat to phombies - my word for people who do not experience their travels & really look because they are seeing everything through the lens of their camera. They are continually looking for that good photo opportunity. This condition has been made immesurably worse by the selfie stick. Now these poor people can contaminate every wonderful place in the world or event by sticking their face at the forefront of the image.

Its so sad. Bad enough to risk death by crossing the road without looking. Or walking into street furniture because you are unaware of hazards. Irritating to risk collisions & injury to others because you stop suddenly without warning. Moving from one place to another, whether on foot or in a vehicle, requires concentration. All these poor saps are concentrating on is a high tec gadget. Life is passing them by.

Where will it lead? I can imagine a future when we have implanted phones & cameras in our heads so that we can send signals directly from the brain to the gadget. We probably won't communicate directly with eachother by speaking face to face. We'll just send images & texts. I hope I'm wrong or I don't live to see the day.

Reasons to be Cheerful

In no particular order:-

• I can see, hear (with the aid of modern technology), & I've got my own teeth, (even if I'm wearing Invisilign braces at the moment).
• I can swim every day if I want to & the pool is easily within my walking distance.
• I've got good friends & a small, but perfectly formed family.
• I can do what I want within reason - freedom to choose without compromise & enough money to do it.
• I have my own comfortable home, in a great city, but very quiet.
• I have easy access to good transport links, theatres, cinema, & world class museums & galleries.
• There is a M&S food store 5 mins walk away, not to mention about 8 restaurants as near, so I can eat well without having to cook from scratch every day.
• I've got more books than I will live long enough to read.
• My doctor & dentist are just round the corner & I can get a bus to the best hospitals in the world.
• My computer is my lifeline to the world & I love it.
• I probably have enough clothes to last me till I depart, so don't have to go shopping. 
• I'm alive, maybe not quite kicking, but "compos mentis" enough to be independent.

I could go on, but you get the picture. There are negatives - life isn't perfect. The only thing I really want is a dog. Something to welcome me home & get me out of the house to walk whatever the weather.

I am very lucky. I can live with myself without being depressed. So many people are not in a similar position

Tradition - Living in the Past.

Britain is possibly one of the most traditional countries in the world in every sense of the word. We have numerous arcane costumes & ceremonies. Look at Parliament. If there is anywhere that needs to be brought into the 21st C it is the "mother of all parliaments". Ditto our Judiciary. Then there is the dress uniforms of some of our forces. The Monarchy & Aristocracy is probably the prime example. Harking back to our " glorious past" is ingrained in certain areas of our culture. How glorious is it really in the light of it's impact on the world today?

The problem with tradition is that there is only a hairs breadth between it & "we've always done it this way" or "it's always worked perfectly well before".

It is important to learn the lessons of the past. But do we actually do that? Do we have to retain the trappings of the past to use the valuable information our past gives us?

I think not. I feel we are sometimes trapped in the confines of behaviour which isn't questioned enough. People who live in the past can't move forward properly. They are prisoners of their experience. You see it all the time. Friends and aquaintances who can't stop re living some slight or inadvertant insult. Something which is possibly unintentional or a mistake changes things forever.

We probably all have tragedy in our lives to some extent. People become seriously ill, they have accidents, they die. We are emotional human beings. We can't ignore that, but we do have to try to come to terms with it and continue to live fulfilling lives ourselves.

If we are lost somewhere in the past we don't really live & appreciate now. Our lives move inexorably forward. We need to be moving with our life as it travels to the inevitable ending. We do have to be "in the moment", (dreadful phrase). We have to be "mindful", much better, because it implies really knowing - about here & now, the past & what might be.

Jonas Kaufmann @ la Scala

Jonas Kaufmann is a wonderful, charismatic spinto tenor. (That is a lyric / dramatic tenor). I saw his La Scala concert last night. Juan Diego Florez is my favourite Bel Canto tenor. (Literally "beautiful song"). Both reach high C's, (C5) seemingly effortlessly.

I have loved opera for well over 20 years. I am transported visually & emotionally by the production, the story & the music. It's a complete package of art in it's highest form. I deeply feel the whole gamut of emotion according to the opera. That's probably why, although I enjoyed the concert, which was superb, it didn't do it for me. I could have just listened to the CD. In fairness I'm sure it wasn't like that for the audience who experienced the atmosphere live.

What I did like was the fact that Kaufmann lost it in in the Nessum Dorma encore at the end & carried the mistake off with aplomb. I'm not surprised. The concert was a tour de force & must have been completely exhausting.

I also loved the fact that, also in the many encores, he removed his bow tie & loosened his shirt collar. I wish that gesture was more prevalent. I wish opera & classical music generally wasn't so "precious". I wish it would make itself more accessible to mass enjoyment & move into the 21st C. Do we really need musicians in the constrict of "evening dress"? It's like the Justice system. Do we really need Judges & lawyers to wear outmoded & rather ridiculous costumes ?

I don't know if Kaufmanns gesture was brave or unusual. No one seemed to mind a jot. Surely he could sing better if he was relaxed. Let's have more of it I say.

Donald Trump - President of the worlds greatest Superpower? !

What an aptly named man! He is just one long fart of discriminatory, ignorant & ill informed, jingoistic, mysogenistic, right wing drivel. There are no policies whatsoever in there, just rebel rousing soundbites because he doesn't have the intellect to formulate policy. All he does is throw vast sums of money at buying support from people who are seemingly as biased as he is. Added to which he's named after a cartoon duck.

The question is why do the American people even give this dreadful man a public arena to spout his poison? There is no question that he has a lot of support, so you have to ask what on earth is appealing about him? How can so many Americans begin to imagine voting for him as their next President?

This man could be the Commander in Chief of the biggest superpower in the world with more power than anyone else on the planet. He would have his finger on the button.

He has no qualifications whatsoever for the job. All he is good at is making money & trampling underfoot other people in so doing. He is a joke.

It is a truly frightening  prospect, but what does it say about the American people? Are they really so stupid as to think this is a good idea? Please wake up America. Think what you are letting the world in for if you go ahead. Lemmings rushing off a cliff doesn't even begin to cover it.

Travelling

For some reason I can't fathom I am going away quite a lot this year. Unfortunately several trips come very close together - a school reunion in Birmingham in March, a mini break in Berlin in April, a mini break near Chester in May followed hotly by a tour of the Hebrides in May / June. Then finally a decent period at home before Rome in September. All have been at the instigation of friends apart from Berlin which I'm doing with my daughter.

My first reaction is how lucky I am to have people who actually want to spend time with me in such close & prolonged proximity. Holidays, as I have discovered to my cost, can easily break friendships. We think we know people well, friends or family. Being together 24 / 7 sometimes reveals that we do not. What was a slight irritation can become a major nuisance or a real bar to getting on.

Travelling is, at times, bound to be stressful. We take ourselves out of our comfort zone & doing it not knowing how well we can rely on our companions can be risky. Are we compatible in our likes & dislikes, our understanding of other cultures, our ethics? Do we want to be joined at the hip or are we self reliant & independent?

This years holidays aren't intrepid - been there, done that, got the Tshirt, (literally). That sort of travel has broadened my mind more than any other life experience. Many of the places I have been are now war zones - not my fault I hasten to add. My daughter once said that she wished she had parents who just went on holiday to places where people weren't likely to shoot you! (It wasn't really that dangerous except possibly Yemen or Libya).

Life itself is a journey along an individual path. You can make of it what you will. You decide what you will or won't do with your life. There are constraints & they increase as you age, but you choose whether you will let those constraints inhibit you. So, I am trying not to let inertia stop me. I'm trying to ignore the small voice in my head which says - do you really want all the effort or organising & packing, then returning & catching up? Is it really all worth it when you could be comfortably at home in your own routine?

I think I do & it is worth it. When I really can't do it any more I will have a huge store of memory & experience. Unless Dementia gets me of course.

What Comes Next?

I've been intermittantly listening to Joan Bakewell reading her autobiography "Stop the Clocks" on Radio 4. I think it is good that someone articulate & well known chronicles the process of ageing for them personally. It is always a singular journey though. It's very easy to fall into the trap of euphemisms  & avoid the reality of getting older. It's very easy to be in denial & not face the difficulties as well as recognise the benefits.

My friends started dying when I was in my 30's. I can think of 3 in particular 2 men & one woman whose lives were cut short drastically & it was very painful, particularly in one case. But it didn't really make me think of my own mortality. I was at a stage of life when I had everything I wanted, home, family, career, friends & social life. I didn't have time to be particularly reflective. I wasn't about to die.

Now I know that at any second I could cease to exist I do think about death & mortality. Not with any dread, just as a simple fact. I have become more spiritual - Not religious - I can't believe in the tenets of Christianity. I can't have faith in any religion which has actually caused so much suffering historically. I just know what my moral compass is. I know what is important to me & it doesn't have anything to do with God, the Clergy, or religious buildings.

I have always been political, but have become more so than ever. I am angry about the huge inequality of opportunity in the world. I am angry that people starve while others waste. I am angry that we tolerate discrimination. I am angry about man's ability to despoil & damage this gift of a planet we inherit & inhabit. I am angry about short term political decisions for political gain when we need brave long term action. I am angry.

I do hope. I hope that against all the odds civilisation will prevail. That the best of human nature will defend & protect. It is a small hope though.

Most of all I think I am glad that I will probably not live to see the world descend into even more chaos than currently. I will not see riots & public unrest about basic needs like water, food, housing, medical care & education in our city streets. I do think there is every chance it will come. If it does it may well affect my grandsons.

There is still time. We could start real long term planning. We have the tools & the technology. The fight is in the hands of a younger generation than mine. My generation are responsible. We did the damage. I'm just not optimistic that it will happen before it's too late.