Bijan Ebrahimi was beaten to death & set on fire in Bristol after being repeatedly harassed with hate crimes for years. His requests for help went unanswered & ignored. He was failed by his neighbours and all the agencies who came into contact with him. His killer admitted murder & was sentenced yesterday.
He was different. he was disabled & foreign. He was alone. The most poignant image I saw was of his house bedecked with flowers lovingly tended by him in an area of stark deprivation.
What is it about human beings that makes us behave like this? At best ignoring the wrongs we can clearly see happening. Are we simply afraid of standing out & standing up for weaker members of society? Is it just self preservation if we are unfortunate enough to live in a less than desirable area? Or is it some deeper unacknowledged instinct to behave as a pack & turn on the weak & unprotected? Malthus theory of population & Darwin survival of the fittest reduced to the worst common denominator.
I found this story deeply harrowing & upsetting. I cannot imagine what the relatives & friends of Bijan must feel about their adopted "democratic" & fair country. This sort of behaviour calls into question the whole basis of our society. How civilised are we if this can be allowed to happen? How effective are our laws, our sense of justice & those who supposedly enforce them?
Equally how have these young men grown up to become so lacking in any sense of right & wrong or empathy with another human being? How is it possible to treat the head of another human being like a football? It is sickening. What is wrong with their family background & the parenting skills which brought them to this? If they came from disfunctional families why didn't our education system repair some of the damage done over the 11 years of public education?
So many questions & so few answers. Sometimes I feel we are on the edge of chaos & mob rule. I just have to hope that the good defeats the evil.
Friday 29 November 2013
Thursday 28 November 2013
The rocky road of ups & downs.
I had a lovely morning yesterday. Maryon, (daughter) came to help me decide which pictures to hang where. Not as easy as you may imagine if you have a blank canvas of white walls on 3 floors. Do you group? How / what are the criteria for grouping? What are your favourite pictures to go in the most used areas? Which pictures have sentimental value? Will the light damage the picture, it it too dark to see it properly? Pictures say as much about you as books. You definitely need more than one person making the choices, if only so someone can hold the pictures up.
I reckon we possibly ended up deciding on nearly half of my pictures. Either today or tomorrow, my helpful maintenance man Mike will come to put the chosen ones up - maybe. Knowing that involved a top to bottom search of the house to find where I had put the picture hooks! I'm really looking forward to seeing the pictures in place now. Especially the Buddhist Thangka painting I brought back from working in Nepal. That will be a while yet because the removers broke the frame & it's at the framers.
Mike is a bit of a life saver. Having discovered that the leak from the flat roof had come through again in the study, despite Mr C's assurance that it was from the ensuite & had been fixed. Mike inspected the whole upper floor and agreed it was the roof not the ensuite. He went away & turned up with a length of plastic guttering to take the water from the down pipe away from the corner where the leak is. It's only a temporary fix while I await a response to yet another letter to Mr C. (A completely futile hope going on past experience, but I may need a "paper trail"). I wouldn't have thought of the solution, so I am immensely grateful.
I am moving forward - slowly.
I reckon we possibly ended up deciding on nearly half of my pictures. Either today or tomorrow, my helpful maintenance man Mike will come to put the chosen ones up - maybe. Knowing that involved a top to bottom search of the house to find where I had put the picture hooks! I'm really looking forward to seeing the pictures in place now. Especially the Buddhist Thangka painting I brought back from working in Nepal. That will be a while yet because the removers broke the frame & it's at the framers.
Mike is a bit of a life saver. Having discovered that the leak from the flat roof had come through again in the study, despite Mr C's assurance that it was from the ensuite & had been fixed. Mike inspected the whole upper floor and agreed it was the roof not the ensuite. He went away & turned up with a length of plastic guttering to take the water from the down pipe away from the corner where the leak is. It's only a temporary fix while I await a response to yet another letter to Mr C. (A completely futile hope going on past experience, but I may need a "paper trail"). I wouldn't have thought of the solution, so I am immensely grateful.
I am moving forward - slowly.
Wednesday 20 November 2013
Argument - Disagreement - Absolute Truth.
Argument - a quarrel, altercation, debate.
Disagreement - a refusal or failure to agree, an argument or dispute.
Absolute Truth - Not dependent on, conditioned by or relative to anything else.
I wonder how long I could continue telling nothing but the absolute truth? I don't think it would be very long. Mostly because telling the truth often means hurting or offending others and I wouldn't want to do that. I may for example think that a friend looks absolutely dreadful in certain clothes, or made up in a certain way. A friend means a lot to me so I wouldn't want to undermine her confidence. Also it would just be my opinion & taste & could I honestly say that was the absolute truth considering the fashion disasters I have been guilty of? (A sunshine yellow trouser suit springs to mind!)
I don't mind being involved in a disagreement, in fact If the subject is interesting & the other party is well informed I actively enjoy it. Political or philosophical argument is challenging & broadens your horizons. People who are passionate about a subject are much more interesting than those who follow the crowd & don't have any convictions to be courageous about. The trick is to listen and be prepared to change your view if presented with compelling evidence. You also need to know your subject & the arguments which support your view so you can sway someone else's viewpoint.
An argument is a different matter entirely. Emotions are involved. Lasting harm can be done to a relationship. There are people, not many thank goodness, who I have lost contact with completely because things were said which simply couldn't be unsaid & forgotten. Usually this all happens too quickly in the heat of the moment, under great stress. The harm is done.
So with the benefit of age, I would now try very hard not to get involved in an altercation or argument. It simply isn't worth the harm it inflicts on both sides. In order to achieve this more steady state I think you have to compromise, whilst knowing what the boundaries are which you won't cross.
In trying to apply this personal theory to our parliamentary democracy, (so called), I am not surprised that politicians have lost the confidence & trust of the population. The quality of debate in the Lower House is rubbish. Truth is lost in the miasma of half truths & downright lies. Politicians are not allowed to have their own independent opinions, the party Whips see to that. There is no respect for an opposing view & definitely no willingness to change your stance. That would be political suicide. All too often the heat of the moment means that the "debate" descends into unedifying caterwauling.
Politics & politicians have become synonomous dirty words. Maybe we do get the politicians we deserve.
Disagreement - a refusal or failure to agree, an argument or dispute.
Absolute Truth - Not dependent on, conditioned by or relative to anything else.
I wonder how long I could continue telling nothing but the absolute truth? I don't think it would be very long. Mostly because telling the truth often means hurting or offending others and I wouldn't want to do that. I may for example think that a friend looks absolutely dreadful in certain clothes, or made up in a certain way. A friend means a lot to me so I wouldn't want to undermine her confidence. Also it would just be my opinion & taste & could I honestly say that was the absolute truth considering the fashion disasters I have been guilty of? (A sunshine yellow trouser suit springs to mind!)
I don't mind being involved in a disagreement, in fact If the subject is interesting & the other party is well informed I actively enjoy it. Political or philosophical argument is challenging & broadens your horizons. People who are passionate about a subject are much more interesting than those who follow the crowd & don't have any convictions to be courageous about. The trick is to listen and be prepared to change your view if presented with compelling evidence. You also need to know your subject & the arguments which support your view so you can sway someone else's viewpoint.
An argument is a different matter entirely. Emotions are involved. Lasting harm can be done to a relationship. There are people, not many thank goodness, who I have lost contact with completely because things were said which simply couldn't be unsaid & forgotten. Usually this all happens too quickly in the heat of the moment, under great stress. The harm is done.
So with the benefit of age, I would now try very hard not to get involved in an altercation or argument. It simply isn't worth the harm it inflicts on both sides. In order to achieve this more steady state I think you have to compromise, whilst knowing what the boundaries are which you won't cross.
In trying to apply this personal theory to our parliamentary democracy, (so called), I am not surprised that politicians have lost the confidence & trust of the population. The quality of debate in the Lower House is rubbish. Truth is lost in the miasma of half truths & downright lies. Politicians are not allowed to have their own independent opinions, the party Whips see to that. There is no respect for an opposing view & definitely no willingness to change your stance. That would be political suicide. All too often the heat of the moment means that the "debate" descends into unedifying caterwauling.
Politics & politicians have become synonomous dirty words. Maybe we do get the politicians we deserve.
Monday 18 November 2013
Nesting - Order out of chaos.
All the flat pack is assembled thanks to D who has spent 3 days doing it. That's real friendship, giving your time & effort to help someone else. So, a big thank you to him. Now all my stuff has a place & hopefully my brain will remember where everything is! (That's doubtful actually).
I can now walk into every room without negotiating a minefield of boxes & things. Miraculously it is now obvious what each room is for. It does seem crazy that despite all my efforts to give lots of "stuff" away I still have enough to fill a 5 bedroom house.
There are still outstanding problems - A boiler that hasn't worked for weeks, but will be replaced hopefully on Wednesday. (Ironically the last day my vendor has to respond to my court summons) - An alarm system that won't turn off, but a man is coming tomorrow to fix it, (maybe). However, now there is light & possibly heat at the end of the tunnel. It has all been much more problematical than I expected. But that's life, as the Dowager Countess of Grantham said in "Downton Abbey" - a series of problems to overcome & then you die! Each problem overcome is a lesson learned & a boost to self confidence & self belief.
I am deeply grateful to all my friends who have helped me in one way or another. Everything from encouragement in times of panic or despair, suggestions for solutions to problems, feeding me when I didn't have the time to think about food & endless practical help. Most of all just being there, physically present or at the end of a phone or by texting & email.
In the end we do all have to live our own lives, whatever those lives hold. No one can do that for us however close we are to them. We are essentially alone. But a real friend is more important than anything else, except perhaps good health. We are social animals, we need each other to share the good times & the bad. Friendship means giving as well as taking. I have a debt of giving back to repay now.
The next thing is hanging the pictures, but that will be fun.
I can now walk into every room without negotiating a minefield of boxes & things. Miraculously it is now obvious what each room is for. It does seem crazy that despite all my efforts to give lots of "stuff" away I still have enough to fill a 5 bedroom house.
There are still outstanding problems - A boiler that hasn't worked for weeks, but will be replaced hopefully on Wednesday. (Ironically the last day my vendor has to respond to my court summons) - An alarm system that won't turn off, but a man is coming tomorrow to fix it, (maybe). However, now there is light & possibly heat at the end of the tunnel. It has all been much more problematical than I expected. But that's life, as the Dowager Countess of Grantham said in "Downton Abbey" - a series of problems to overcome & then you die! Each problem overcome is a lesson learned & a boost to self confidence & self belief.
I am deeply grateful to all my friends who have helped me in one way or another. Everything from encouragement in times of panic or despair, suggestions for solutions to problems, feeding me when I didn't have the time to think about food & endless practical help. Most of all just being there, physically present or at the end of a phone or by texting & email.
In the end we do all have to live our own lives, whatever those lives hold. No one can do that for us however close we are to them. We are essentially alone. But a real friend is more important than anything else, except perhaps good health. We are social animals, we need each other to share the good times & the bad. Friendship means giving as well as taking. I have a debt of giving back to repay now.
The next thing is hanging the pictures, but that will be fun.
Saturday 16 November 2013
First / Worst Great Western
I had to go up to London for a meeting on Friday the 15th November. I was just in time to catch the 15.51 Paddington to Oxford train home. I had to walk the length of the train until I reached the First Class carriage to even be able to get on. Every aisle & lobby area between carriages was full of people standing.
I resigned myself to standing until Reading. There were 19 people plus their luggage in the space between first class & second class. There was no space for even one more body. I lent against the wall with the toilet door in it. Big mistake. The stench of urine was overpowering, especially when the train was moving. Two men used the toilet during the journey. One was nearly gagging when he came out & said it was really dreadful inside.
There were 2 drop down seats occupied by a young man & a young woman. Neither offered me their seat. By the time we got to Reading I was really struggling. There was no respite. A couple of men decided to go into the first class compartment, but more people got on & no one got off. No British Rail employees made any attempt to stop anyone else getting on the train despite the obvious level of overcrowding.
Trying to retain my balance with nothing to hold onto was difficult. It got unbearably hot, so I had to try to remove layers of clothing. The noise was deafening & if I lent my head against the wall there was also a horrible buzzing vibration.
I can't stand for long at the best of times. This was torture. By the time we reached Oxford I could barely get off the train my legs were so stiff and painful. When I got into the station I asked at the information desk why the train was so overcrowded. Naively I thought there must have been a problem. The man behind the desk just said there were a lot more people travelling nowadays! Indeed, the station was heaving.
When there are so many petty Health & Safety restrictions how can a public transport carrier get away with this complete disregard for passengers comfort & safety. All the passengers paid their fare to be transported from A to B. It is not unreasonable to expect a seat to be part of the contract. Why don't First Great Western put more carriages on at peak times. They surely know when there is going to be this level of overcrowding. Needless to say there was no sign of a guard. He wouldn't have been able to walk down the train!
If there had been a crash the death & injury toll on that train would have been horrendous. There would be a public enquiry. First Great Western & British Rail would have wrung their hands & said it must never happen again. Heads might roll - maybe.
It isn't good enough. They must know what the problems are at peak times. This should not be allowed to continue. It's literally like playing Russian Roulette with your health / life on a train. Or "Murder on the Oxford Express"
I resigned myself to standing until Reading. There were 19 people plus their luggage in the space between first class & second class. There was no space for even one more body. I lent against the wall with the toilet door in it. Big mistake. The stench of urine was overpowering, especially when the train was moving. Two men used the toilet during the journey. One was nearly gagging when he came out & said it was really dreadful inside.
There were 2 drop down seats occupied by a young man & a young woman. Neither offered me their seat. By the time we got to Reading I was really struggling. There was no respite. A couple of men decided to go into the first class compartment, but more people got on & no one got off. No British Rail employees made any attempt to stop anyone else getting on the train despite the obvious level of overcrowding.
Trying to retain my balance with nothing to hold onto was difficult. It got unbearably hot, so I had to try to remove layers of clothing. The noise was deafening & if I lent my head against the wall there was also a horrible buzzing vibration.
I can't stand for long at the best of times. This was torture. By the time we reached Oxford I could barely get off the train my legs were so stiff and painful. When I got into the station I asked at the information desk why the train was so overcrowded. Naively I thought there must have been a problem. The man behind the desk just said there were a lot more people travelling nowadays! Indeed, the station was heaving.
When there are so many petty Health & Safety restrictions how can a public transport carrier get away with this complete disregard for passengers comfort & safety. All the passengers paid their fare to be transported from A to B. It is not unreasonable to expect a seat to be part of the contract. Why don't First Great Western put more carriages on at peak times. They surely know when there is going to be this level of overcrowding. Needless to say there was no sign of a guard. He wouldn't have been able to walk down the train!
If there had been a crash the death & injury toll on that train would have been horrendous. There would be a public enquiry. First Great Western & British Rail would have wrung their hands & said it must never happen again. Heads might roll - maybe.
It isn't good enough. They must know what the problems are at peak times. This should not be allowed to continue. It's literally like playing Russian Roulette with your health / life on a train. Or "Murder on the Oxford Express"
Friday 8 November 2013
Form over Function - Style over Practicality
My new house, (it isn't yet a home), is all superficial glitz. There are quite major underlying impracticalities & stylistic errors to my eyes.
For example, the electrics. I've just had to replace the fusebox & 27 downlights because the box doesn't comply with safety standards & the lights are the old sort with transformers & no heat shield therefore are a fire hazard. But worse than that is the fact that there simply aren't enough lights & the ones that there are are not where you need them. Who in their right mind would put 4 downlights close to each other & a wall of windows & none in the rest of the room? Most of the actual rooms only have uplights & not enough of those. The dining room only had 1, so electricians have just had to make several holes in the ceiling to put in a modern fitting. Maybe the architect & the vendor never read anything.
Then there are the windows. Modern, probably very expensive, but a lot are non opening! For example in an ensuite bathroom. Why would you do that? Possibly for cheapness.
The front door is again probably very expensive - some sort of resin? Both mine & the next door one are cracked. Presumably because they face the South & West strong sunlight which has made them brittle?
The curved walls are very attractive, but make hanging pictures & placing furniture quite difficult. They also make moving furniture in & out a herculean task. I think my son in law's brother & father nearly had simultaneous heart attacks taking away a bed I gave them! As for the curved hall cupboard with no handles, which you had to bang to get your fingernails in to open - well I rest my case!
There are channels at floor level & round doors, with no architrave or skirting covering them. It looks as if the carpenter went off for a tea break & forgot. I expect in reality it was a style statement at the time. In fact it just looks utilitarian & unfinished. It certainly gathers dust.
It will all be sorted. I will make it a practical and attractive home. It's location is perfect for city living. It will just take time & money. (Given what I paid for the house, that is a bit galling). I just don't understand why you can't have good design, using modern materials, which is actually practical too. Maybe there is too big a gap between an architect's vision & a clients ability to live in a house in the 21st century.
For example, the electrics. I've just had to replace the fusebox & 27 downlights because the box doesn't comply with safety standards & the lights are the old sort with transformers & no heat shield therefore are a fire hazard. But worse than that is the fact that there simply aren't enough lights & the ones that there are are not where you need them. Who in their right mind would put 4 downlights close to each other & a wall of windows & none in the rest of the room? Most of the actual rooms only have uplights & not enough of those. The dining room only had 1, so electricians have just had to make several holes in the ceiling to put in a modern fitting. Maybe the architect & the vendor never read anything.
Then there are the windows. Modern, probably very expensive, but a lot are non opening! For example in an ensuite bathroom. Why would you do that? Possibly for cheapness.
The front door is again probably very expensive - some sort of resin? Both mine & the next door one are cracked. Presumably because they face the South & West strong sunlight which has made them brittle?
The curved walls are very attractive, but make hanging pictures & placing furniture quite difficult. They also make moving furniture in & out a herculean task. I think my son in law's brother & father nearly had simultaneous heart attacks taking away a bed I gave them! As for the curved hall cupboard with no handles, which you had to bang to get your fingernails in to open - well I rest my case!
There are channels at floor level & round doors, with no architrave or skirting covering them. It looks as if the carpenter went off for a tea break & forgot. I expect in reality it was a style statement at the time. In fact it just looks utilitarian & unfinished. It certainly gathers dust.
It will all be sorted. I will make it a practical and attractive home. It's location is perfect for city living. It will just take time & money. (Given what I paid for the house, that is a bit galling). I just don't understand why you can't have good design, using modern materials, which is actually practical too. Maybe there is too big a gap between an architect's vision & a clients ability to live in a house in the 21st century.
Monday 4 November 2013
Sods Law
Sod's law is a name for the axiom of "bad fortune will be tailored to the individual" and "anything that can go wrong, will" usually used sympathetically. In America Murphy's Law is more popular & polite.
Conversely good fortune will occur in spite of the individual's actions. This broadens Sod's law to a general sense of being "mocked by fate" - the irony of fate. The moral is let no stone be left unturned & don't accept an uncaring uninfluenceable fate.
In the last 2 months I have felt that Sod's law has perversely singled me out despite my best OCD efforts to leave no stones unturned.
Today for instance:-
So what is the answer? Bloody incompetence - and I'm really fed up with it! Why can't people just behave reasonably & competently & DO THEIR JOB PROPERLY?
Conversely good fortune will occur in spite of the individual's actions. This broadens Sod's law to a general sense of being "mocked by fate" - the irony of fate. The moral is let no stone be left unturned & don't accept an uncaring uninfluenceable fate.
In the last 2 months I have felt that Sod's law has perversely singled me out despite my best OCD efforts to leave no stones unturned.
Today for instance:-
- My car was supposed to be collected for repair & a courtesy car should have been delivered today. (Man reversed into the side of my car while it was parked, unoccupied, on a street. So his insurance is paying). My car taken away, but no courtesy car on job sheet. So I have to chase it up!
- Then I am also in the middle of chasing up a refund on my annual swimming card because I moved house. That has been going on since the beginning of September.
- I am also having to deal with damage to an antique bureau bookcase which the carrier says was the auction house & the auction house say wasn't. Another auction house is simply not responding to any communication.
- My electrician & plumber have both disappeared into "black holes" so the work is still outstanding.
- My energy suppliers, Scottish Power, have put me on the wrong tariff - an expensive standard tariff instead of a fixed price one, what a surprise!
- BT have been charging my direct debit since I moved, despite my account supposedly being closed down. They haven't responded to 2 letters to their customer service address & I have spoken to 4 or 5 different people who all assured me they had it sorted.
- I have claimed for damage to my property by my removers & they have not acknowledged or responded in any way to the claim.
- I have an outstanding dispute with the vendor of my house over a CH boiler problem & he also doesn't respond to any communication - email or letter. He now has a summons to ignore!
So what is the answer? Bloody incompetence - and I'm really fed up with it! Why can't people just behave reasonably & competently & DO THEIR JOB PROPERLY?
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