Is Britain Working?

I seem to spend a lot of my time firefighting. Not literally of course. But I have an ongoing list of things that have gone wrong. There are three main issues - Firstly that tradespeople  / manufacturers don't do the job properly in the first place. Secondly getting something done about that in a timely fashion takes huge commitment & wastes a lot of the customers time. Thirdly communication is really bad. When there is good customer service, & it does happen, I am truly grateful & surprised. 

But it really should not be like that. Why isn't good customer service the norm?

I have an issue currently with my car. It had a major service & MOT at a Nissan dealership & quite a lot of expensive work was done in order to pass. I've had Nissan cars for years & always had them serviced at the same dealership. Afterwards there were a couple of intermittant faults, the brakes squeal & there is an odd noise when reversing. The car is going in tomorrow to have the rear suspension done - at quite a high cost again. In order for the service people to check out the intermittant noises they want to charge me well over a hundred pounds on top. I think that is unreasonable given the circumstances, but they won't budge. It used to be the case that I had an informal chat with the service engineer & there was no diagnostic charge when the car was in for something else.

I had solar panels installed by Octopus earlier this year costing thousands. The Enphase gateway went wrong relatively soon afterwards. There was nothing wrong with my wifi & the App procedure didn't work. Eventually they admitted it was their fault & it was rectified remotely. Weeks ago it went wrong again. Same problem. I went on a forum & got advice that was well beyond my skill set. So I referred it to Octopus & got a ticket. Nothing has been done & I keep having to chase. It is ridiculous.

I re-did my LPA's recently. My solicitor forgot to put one document in when she sent it off to the OPG. We notified them & they agreed she could send it separately. Several telephone conversations chasing this, with different people, which we ensured were logged on the system, I got a letter saying my LPA's couldn't be registered because of missing documents. Despite the fact that the OPG had acknowledged receiving the document. I still haven't had my new documents back months after they were sent in. 

To my mind these are major failings. I could go on. They simply shouldn't happen. 

So I ask myself why? Is it the systems the companies have in place? Is it that they don't employ enough staff of the right calibre & experience? Is it that their personnel training isn't good enough? Is it that they are cutting costs? Is it that they simply don't care? 

I don't know. I suspect all of the above are true. 

The main issue, as I see it, is that Britain isn't working. When I say that I mean it isn't functioning adequately. Until we put this right we won't increase productivity, we won't achieve growth, we won't be a country in which people want to invest.

It isn't my micro problems that matter. It's the disfunctional country we now live in that will affect everybody. We all need to do something about this. 

  

Fitting In & People Pleasing

Most people want to belong. To a family or a friendship group or at work. It's normal. Most of us want people to like us. We want to be able to work co-operatively. We need to be able to express our opinion, but also we need to listen to the views of others. Sometimes we need to accept that we disagree, without trying to force our opinion on them. Occasionally we also need to stand firm if we feel that an opinion is wrong. Everyone has a right to their view - We personally just don't have to accept it. 

It's a delicate balance because it's important to retain a sense of self. To some extent most of us adapt our behaviour to the situations we are in & to the people we are with. Adaptive behaviour is fine until it becomes maladaptive. 

Humans are unique & varied. It isn't possible to agree with everyone. It isn't possible to enjoy the company of everyone. What really matters is how we deal with disagreement or conflict. Both are normal in human relationships & we do need to accept that. What we shouldn't do is accept someone who is trying to manipulate us or force their views on us. We can see that so clearly in the international situation today. But we need to be able to recognise it in our personal relationships too. 

I think most people have several personas. Different aspects of our personality that we bring out for different occasions. Trying to fit in, not rock the boat. Actually that's a useful tool to avoid conflict. We are social animals living in various communities. It wouldn't work if we were all egotistical & dominant. That causes conflict & even aggression.

But no one should abase themselves or alter their core values in order to be people pleasers. Submissive dogs roll over on their back to dominant ones. People are intelligent, thinking entities who use education, experience & information to think. 

We need to be true to ourselves. Sometimes there is a cost to that which we have to accept.  

 

Dumbing Down - The BBC

Radio 4 "Today" & "PM" bookend my day for reliable news & informed comment. This morning "Today" closed with Taylor Swift singing a song to mark the fact that she has announced her engagement. Really? Is this appropriate use of broadcast time. Especially as they often cut interesting interviews short because their timetable is so tight. 

Whatever were programme producers thinking? Personally I really couldn't give a toss that she has become engaged, let alone listen to minutes of a whole song. Had they just run out of real news? Similarly, is a serious news & commentary programme the place to trail other BBC programmes?

Possibly they thought a happy song & event would be "good" news. Serious miscalculation. We do need positive news, but not pop culture ephemera. We need genuine good news about things that are working, innovations that may mitigate climate change, political moves that might really impact the dire international situation.

My family didn't get a TV until after the coronation of queen Elizabeth, but we did have a radio. There were nothing like the number of stations & channels to choose from until relatively recently in my lifetime. The BBC & "public service broadcasting" was & still should be a lifeline of truth & relevance. 

Change is unavoidable, we do need to move forward as technology & the world changes. But do we really want to pander to the soundbite generation with the attention span of a gnat? Should public service broadcasters be forced into the mould of other providers?

 

I don't know how much research there has been into the capacity of the public to listen or watch content driven, fact checked, programmes. Maybe it is a niche market. But, I'm sure that, today, more than ever, it is necessary that the BBC provides it. Because, apart form a few excellent factual / documentary programmes across UK channels, we are being drip fed reality rubbish. Just look at the Radio Times if you don't believe me..

Reality programmes & sport are the modern day Roman gladiatorial equivalent. Relatively cheap to produce & engaging big audiences. That is the key to success - audience numbers. Especially for the channels that have advertising. 

That is what has always & hopefully will always make the BBC unique. We value it enough to pay for it. 

If that ends we will follow the USA into the oblivion of ratings driven, advertising heavy, mush. 

Empty phrases - "How Are You"?

The art of conversation seems to be becoming very formulaic. I am really fed up with listening to radio 4 programmes where interviewees monotonously say "thank you for having me" & "how are you"? to the interviewer. Neither party is there for a friendly conversation. They are there because something is newsworthy enough to be on radio 4 & there are questions that need to be answered. Hopefully both parties are well informed & have something worthwhile to say.

If you say "how are you" to someone I feel you should actually be interested in the answer & be prepared to give it the attention it deserves. It shouldn't simply be a glib, not expecting a proper answer, conversational gambit. We all play the game. We all respond, "I'm fine how are you"? & don't expect any real information. It's like Brits conversations about the weather, utterly pointless.

Similarly "thank you for having me". What on earth does that actually mean? How can you "have" a person? Both parties are in the interview in order to convey information. The phrase is transactional, facile, superficial. They need eachother & are there for a specific purpose. Generally the BBC does not pay members of the public for interviews. There can be exceptions for experts, consultants, or those involved in high-profile news stories, but the standard practice is not to compensate individuals for participating in news interviews.  

Conversation should, of course, be polite. There is nothing worse than interviewer & interviewees speaking, or even shouting, over eachother, although it does happen more often than it should. It defeats the object of the listener being informed & getting information & is extremely irritating. Personally it makes me turn the radio off. 

The most empty phrase of all time has got to be "like". It's a filler word like um & er, it's how we make time to formulate a thought or word. Goodness knows how it has become so prevalent. People don't seem to be able to tolerate silence any more. Silence allows us to think. But I feel we have lost the art of thinking before we speak or act. Some people just want to be the one speaking, even when they actually don't have much to say.

 

Reality TV

There is more than one kind of reality TV. The obvious one is programmes like "The Apprentice", "The Traitors", "Dragons Den", "Race Around the World" - all BBC. On ITV there is "Big brother", "Love Island", "Britains Got Talent", "TOWIE". 

The other kind is the reality we see in daily news & documentary programmes. 

Then there is the reality of our own individual lives. How do we process reality tv & real events we can see at a safe distance? 

I seriously wonder if we truly understand what reality is. We are bombarded with the "reality" of social media & "influencers" as well as reality tv. What we see is carefully curated & edited. The people we see present a persona & we have no way of knowing how real that is. I suspect in many cases it is worlds away from the reality most of us experience.

The reality of disaster & war is removed from us. We watch, but do we really process & empathise? When people are actually involved in traumatic events that is light years away from watching it on a screen. Distance allows us to see it almost like a drama, because it is too hard to fully engage with what is happening.

I am concerned that we are becoming inured to events that should motivate us to action. Our own lives are so complex & busy that we cannot allow ourselves to become too involved in the lives of others. The daily grind, whatever that is, occupies our minds & energy to the extent that we possibly tolerate things that are intolerable. In fact it is all to easy to "other" people so that we don't feel personal responsibility to take action. This is evident in the way refugees & migrants are portrayed. If we were to acknowledge their equal humanity to ourselves, how could we describe them as illegal, a flood, an influx, an onslaught, mass migration......The language we use risks dehumanizing individuals and conflating legal status with identity. 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/aug/02/language-on-immigration-in-uk-news-and-politics-found-to-have-shaped-backlash-against-antiracism

https://www.runnymedetrust.org/publications/a-hostile-environment-language-race-surveillance-and-the-media

 

Today we have the ability to know more of what the reality of living in other places is. We cannot say that we didn't know. If you accept that, then don't you have to do something about the unacceptable reality that millions live with? 

Titles

I'm reading a novel by Richard Coles. He was in The Communards in the 1980's. After that he was a C of E vicar. He was also a radio presenter. Now he writes novels. So, multi talented. It made me think about titles & wonder why, when he left the church because of it's stance on LGBTQ+, he still uses the title Rev.

Then I wondered why, when I have been widowed for 16 years, I am still Mrs....

That led me to the Monarchy & Aristocracy. Why do we accept that, simply because of an accident of birth, some people are given higher status than others. They haven't done anything to earn their status. They may not be particularly intelligent, or skilled, or have valuable experience or expertise. They cannot necessarily be thought of as having done anything to merit their exalted position other than been born to privileged parents. 

Then there is the vexed question of the Honors List where politicians & the monarch raise people to higher status. If it were only done because the recipients had done something exceptional to merit the honor, I wouldn't mind. But that isn't necessarily the case. The Conservatives apparently gave out 10 times more honours than Labour since 2010.

OBE, MBE, CBE - These are the most common honors and are awarded twice a year (New Year and King's Birthday) for contributions to various fields like arts, sciences, public service, and community work. I'm struggling to justify why, because someone has been talented in sport or the arts for example, that warants an honor. I certainly can't justify celebrity honours. 

Knighthoods/Damehoods -  Are higher honors given for supposedly major contributions at a national or international level. Many of these are political. A significant portion of these honors are tied to political service, donations and influence. Some are directly awarded by the Prime Minister upon resignation, and others are given to those who have held public office and contributed to national life. There has been an expectation that politicians & civil servants are almost entitled to these. Many people object to the degrading of these, for example by Boris Johnson & especially Liz Truss after being Prime Minister. 

Personally, while I am always interested in meeting new people, I struggle to defer to anyone. Honour means high respect, great esteem. If someone has done something outstanding or above the norm I would obviously respect that. But that does not seem to be how our Honors system always works. The system is inherently flawed & debases those who genuinely deserve to be recognised. 

It needs to change. Titles are not the answer. It just perpetuates the British class system. We need to be a genuine meritocracy.  

 

Neurotypical - Neurodiverse

Neurotypical -  Having characteristics and traits that are considered typical in comparison to other people in society.

Neurodiverse - the natural variation in how the human brain functions & processes information. A wide range of ways that people think, learn, and behave. It is estimated that 15% - 20% of the world's population is neurodivergent. That's more than 1 in 7.

I have just done 4 interesting tests to assess whether I am neurodiverse. It turns out that I possibly am. I seem to be somewhere relatively low down on the Autism spectrum. It hadn't ocurred to me. As far as I am concerned I am really normal - it's the rest of you that are odd. It was quite a surprise. I think it's important to focus on the strengths and unique perspectives that neurodivergent individuals can bring, rather than solely focusing on challenges. But I could possibly be biased.

Further it seems likely that I inherited it from my mother, who I definitely thought was different, but for other reasons. Around 80% of autism cases can be linked to inherited genetic mutations. Autistic people exhibit differences in social interaction, communication, and behavior. I suspect we all think we are normal, but how often do we tell family or friends what we really think about them? 

Autism presents differently in females, often leading to underdiagnosis or misdiagnosis due to masking & different symptom presentation. Women and girls are more likely to mask their autism symptoms, consciously or unconsciously mimicking social behaviors and using scripts to fit in.

https://www.oxfordcbt.co.uk/female-autism-checklist/ 

Anyway, I'm taking this revelation on board. In my apparently autistic way, I'm researching it & finding out as much as I can. The thing is, however honest you can be with yourself, you are hardly the most reliable judge of your own personality traits. 

Maybe the main thing we all have to live with is that human beings are wonderfully different in looks, in intelligence, in philosophy, in temperament, in everything you can think of. That is a good thing. Difference is to be cherished, not used to isolate or intimidate people. Humans do have a tendency to form cliques & to exclude outliers, even torment & bully them. 

We need alternative ways of thinking to get us out of the mess we are in. We should all be more accepting. I think I need to work on that!

 

Cause & Effect - Lines on Maps

The boundaries of countries have been decided by a combination of historical claims, treaties, wars, colonization, and negotiations. These boundaries can be natural, like rivers or mountains, or artificial lines agreed upon by the nations involved. They are arbitrary & change over time. For example Hungary & Poland lost a lot of territory to Cezchoslovakia & Romania post WW2. Similarly, tribal Africa was remapped by European colonisers, primarily between the 1880s and 1914, with little regard for existing political structures or ethnic boundaries.

The area of Israel & Palestine at the time of Jesus was historically tribal, but was then under Roman rule. God had supposedly given the land of Canaan to the Jews. Scholars today use Canaan as a geopolitical entity corresponding to the modern states of Israel, the West Bank/Gaza Strip, Jordan, Lebanon, and southern Syria.

 

Palestine was historically part of Canaan, then later included the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah. After the Roman conquest, it was known as Judaea, and was later renamed Syria Palaestina. 

So it is complicated. Both Israel & Palestine have a legitimate claim to the land. But the thing is that borders do not exist in the landscape in reality. They are created by people, usually men, with vested interests. They are fluid & change over time. Once we create borders we create conflict & the cycle of fighting for territory begins. It is a male thing. Generally women fight to defend people, not territory.

 

In microcosm we put boundaries around our houses - fences, walls & hedges. We are in effect saying this is mine, keep off unless I invite you in. Land ownership is at the root of class hierarchy, the aristocracy, the middle classes & the working class. Britain is probably still one of the most class ridden societies in the world, apart from India, which has the caste system.

 

The territorial dispute between Israel & Palestine has been ongoing for a very long time. Logic says that there needs to be a negotiated settlement about a 2 state solution. But attitudes on both sides are entrenched. Politics & religious zealotry has mired logical discussion in a morass. So a solution seems a long way off.

 

In the meantime Gaza is almost totally destroyed & the death & injury toll is unacceptable - at least 59,029 people killed and 142,135 wounded. Putin continues to be at war with Ukraine. There is civil war in Sudan, Ethiopia, Myanmar & the Sahel. The rest of the world seems unable to impose logic on anyone.

 

This does not simply affect the warring countries. The impact is worldwide. Peace is in everyone's interest. 

 

 

Famine - Genocide - Ethnic Cleansing - You Decide

Famine - The most severe kind of hunger crisis. Extreme widespread scarcity of food. Not enough food for a great number of people, causing illness and death - children and adults within a certain area dying of hunger on a daily basis. Famine is preventable and, therefore, a choice. 

 

Genocide - coined in 1944 genos, meaning race or tribe, and the Latin suffix cide, meaning killing. Systematic murder, targeted actions aimed at the destruction of particular groups of people. An international crime. 

Ethnic Cleansing - coined after the 1990’s conflict in the former Yugoslavia. Not yet recognized as an independent crime under international law, why? Possibly because there is no precise definition of the concept or the exact acts to be qualified as ethnic cleansing. Interim report S/25274 defined as "… rendering an area ethnically homogeneous by using force or intimidation to remove persons of given groups from the area." In report S/1994/674 the same Commission described ethnic cleansing as “… a purposeful policy designed by one ethnic or religious group to remove by violent and terror-inspiring means the civilian population of another ethnic or religious group from certain geographic areas.” The Comission of Experts stated that coercive practices used to remove the civilian population can include: murder, torture, arbitrary arrest and detention, extrajudicial executions, rape and sexual assaults, severe physical injury to civilians, confinement of civilian population in ghetto areas, forcible removal, displacement and deportation of civilian population, deliberate military attacks or threats of attacks on civilians and civilian areas, use of civilians as human shields, destruction of property, robbery of personal property, attacks on hospitals, medical personnel, and locations with the Red Cross/Red Crescent emblem, among others.

https://www.un.org/en/genocide-prevention/definition

I simply can't see that any of this does not apply to what the Israeli government & IDF are doing in Gaza & the West Bank. Please note, I have not said Israeli's or Jews, because I do not believe that what is being done is in the name of all Israeli's or Jews. There is dissent against the way this war has been fought. There are moderate people who are standing up against the actions of an extreme right wing section of the Israeli population. 

What I do not understand or condone is that the international community seems to, yet again, be watching on the sidelines, as it did in Jugoslavia. What is the point of international law if it isn't enforced? What is the point of the United Nations if it allows veto's by vested interests & bad actors to stand in the way of justice? 

Consequences

If I disagree with someone & I lose my temper & begin to shout & interrupt or override what they are saying there are consequences. What might be a simple difference of opinion escalates into a shouting match or real argument. If I canot control my emotions I might become violent & physically push them away. That is assault & they may well retaliate physically. The consequence of differing opinions is a fight which could result in real injury or worse. Road rage is a good example.

I once saw a young man shouting at a young woman & pinning her against a wall in the centre of Oxford late at night. I intervened & told him to stop, fearing for the girls safety. Both were possibly the worse for drink. The girl rounded on me & told me to mind my own business. Intervention in other peoples affairs has consequences. I walked away. 

Micro or macro actions, or even inactions have consequences. I would do the same again, but I would be more aware of the possible consequences. 

The consequences of argument & disagreement are much more dangerous on an international scale when individual leaders have huge amounts of power, armaments & money. The ultimate deterrent that is supposed to be keeping us all from the brink of annihilation is the nuclear bomb. I'm rapidly feeling that with the madmen in charge now, who have their fingers on the button, we are all in danger. The Doomsday Clock is currently at 89 seconds to midnight. Nuclear war can be triggered by both intentional and unintentional actions. Miscalculation of risk is a distinct possibility when you have volatile & unstable conditions & political leaders like today.

I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis in October 1962.I was in the common room of my hall of residence in college. I was convinced that the world as we knew it would cease to exist. You would hope that Mankind learnt from experience, but no. Mankind simply repeats the testosterone fuelled patterns of behaviour over & over.

History tells us that war has dreadful consequences & does not work. In the end there has to be a negotiated settlement. That settlement may or may not be just & fair depending on who "won". There are usually compromises. The Treaty of Versailles after W W 1 is considered a poor settlement. Possibly  the consequence of that was W W 2.

 

We need to find a better way of co-existing as human beings & understand that we do not own the land. Humans are temporary occupiers & custodians. Fighting is often territorial, but we created the boundaries on maps. They don't exist in the real landscape.  

Self Awareness - Bezos & Trump

Jeff Bezos is marrying Lauren Sanchez in Venice this month. Hundreds of their obscenely wealthy friends will occupy the best hotels – the Gritti, the Danieli, the St Regis and the Cipriani, each booked out in its entirety at an average of $500,000 a night. Some will be staying on Bezos's yachts. Water taxis have also been booked out. Venice already feels swamped by hoards of tourists who destroy it's charm & ambience. The nuptuals will go on for almost a week. The lavish, multi-million dollar ceremony could shut parts of the famous city down & the natives are not happy. Unsurprisingly they plan to demonstrate. They plan to disrupt the festivities by jumping into the canals to hinder the water taxis and blocking various calli, (Venice's narrow streets), to prevent the wedding guests from reaching the venue. 

 

I don't blame them. A better venue for this tasteless invasion would be Disneyland or Beverley Hills. 

Trump has just hosted a big parade, coincidentally on his birthday, supposedly to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the army. It was not as well attended as the "No Kings" parades across America. Possibly a couple of hundred thousand went to Trumps parade & the army refused to do the normal "lockstep" marching in protest. Millions protested at the largest mass demonstrations in the nation’s history. The parade was held while the conflict between Iran & Israel escalated dangerously & while Israel is breaking every international convention in Gaza & the West Bank. Both supported by the US. At home Trump sent the National Guard in to Los Angeles - a decision that should have been the Governors. Americans against Americans!

 

Both these men are powerful & excessively wealthy. They are not alone. Apparently there are 902 billionaires in America. The highest number in the world. Bezos is the world's third richest person, with an estimated net worth of $220.9bn. Trumps actual wealth is not publicly known, after all he has filed for bankrupcy several times. Obviously the "Art of the Deal" doesn't always work. 

The point is that in today's world of Climate Emergency, War, Famine, Homelessness, Lack of the basic necessities of life, (water, healthcare & education for example), Persecution.....there is so much good these individuals could do. But they don't. Why? Because they have no self awareness whatsoever. They are blind to the way ordinary people live & the difficulties they face. Or, maybe they simply don't care. 

But there is a groundswell in many countries against the powerful super rich because most of us are only too aware of how unbalanced & unacceptable this all is. Push people too far & they will rise up & make their voices heard.

I do hope I live long enough to see it.  

Neurodiversity

 

In the UK it's estimated that 15 - 20% of the population is neurodiverse. That includes people with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and dyspraxia. Around 6.3 million people in the UK, or about 10% of the population, have dyslexia. This means roughly 1 in 10 individuals experience difficulties with reading, writing, and spelling. It may well be more. That makes it normal in my view. Yet the majority of us don't really understand how dyslexia affects individuals.

There are 4 types of dyslexia include phonological (auditory) dyslexia, surface (visual) dyslexia, rapid naming deficit (difficulty naming a letter, number, color, or object quickly and automatically), and double deficit dyslexia (deficits in both the phonological process and naming speed).  

Dyslexics do not just have problems with reading & writing. They may struggle with navigation & map reading, they may be disorganised & forget instructions, they may suffer from anxiety, they may suffer from lack of confidence & self esteem. 

Dyslexia does not impact intelligence. Dyslexics may have a different cognitive profile, with strengths in areas like problem-solving, creativity, and communication. Famous individuals like Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Alan Turing and Leonardo da Vinci were dyslexic and demonstrated high intelligence and exceptional talent in their respective fields. UK intelligence agency, GCHQ, has valued Dyslexic Thinking for over 100 years. It recruits 4x as many dyslexics to its apprentice scheme than anyone else.

We all need to understand far more about neurodiversity & value difference. It seems that humans are fixated on being like everyone else. Being in a team, a clan, a group. That can lead to at best teasing & at worst bullying. We can see it everywhere, in all societies. 

Fortunately there is now more focus on neurodivergence & we know far more about it. When I was teaching it wasn't accepted that dyslexia even existed. There are books, dramas & documentaries about dyslexia. We also need to understand the other forms of neurodiversity better & be open to accepting & tolerating difference. We aren't all the same. Difference & diversity is beneficial.

Remembrance, Memory & War

Remembrance & memory are two different things. Remembrance is an action. Something we usually do deliberately. Memory is the mind storing something from the past. As I've aged I have realised that there have been many memories & a great deal of data stored in my brain over 80 years. Sadly remembrance is becoming more difficult as the years pass.

In the case of memories no one's life is filled with happiness & people or events that are good memories. There are usually things that we would rather forget. It seems that we have little control over what is remembered & what is forgotten. It might be good if we could chose which memories to store & which to erase. Apparently there are techniques to influence & improve memory. But I think it's a bit late for me to do that. The brain itself selects which memories to solidify & which to forget. A lot depends on the emotional impact of the event. 

We are currently celebrating 80 years since VE day. Personally I am very ambivalent about this sort of remembrance. Human history is littered with wars of varying magnitude from skirmishes to full blown world wars. England fought in over 120 wars across 170 countries post the Act of Union in 1707. Prior to 1707 England fought in the Hundred Years' War, the Wars of the Roses, and the English Civil War for example.

We do not celebrate anniversaries of all these wars I'm glad to say. I can see nothing to celebrate about war. It is pointless, cruel & destructive. It is generally brought about by men seeking territory, power & wealth. There is huge death, destruction & suffering. Often it is the weak & defenceless - women, children & the elderly who suffer most. What is there to celebrate? 

This week we are celebrating the end of the 2nd world war. All wars do end. History shows us that war achieves nothing positive. Over the years millions of people have been killed or maimed. Homes & infrastructure has been destroyed & rebuilt. 

Its a repeating, man made cycle. We now have ways of fighting that don't involve hand to hand fighting. It is done from control centres miles away from the actual conflict. Soldiers kill without even seeing the "enemy", led by powerful men in capital cities who have never been in harms way & have no concern for the "collateral damage" they instigate.

The only winners from war are the people & companies who profit from the clearing up & rebuilding after the devastation. Malthus had a theory that because population expands at a faster rate than the earths ability to provide what we need, we need events to control population. War, pestilence & famine.

 

If there is a god perhaps this is the inbuilt way of control & balance? If there isn't maybe we live in a self controlling universe that will carry on despite us & our pathetic ways of trying to be in control of something much greater than us. 

Transgender & Body Dysmorphia

I was born a woman & have always thought of myself as a woman. So I am not able to imagine what it might be like experience BDD. I have seen the sexual landscape change enormously in my lifetime. The mores that I grew up with have largely disappeared. That can be both good & bad. It's not my job to judge. I would like to understand though.

The UK Supreme Court has just ruled that the legal definition of a woman should be based on biological sex. Because of my age & experience that does seem to me to be logical. The impact on trans people & many areas of life in the UK will be huge. But Trans people will still have their rights protected by the Human Rights Act.

I can clearly remember when being homosexual was illegal. Naively I didn't think I knew any homosexual or lesbian people at the time. But statistically I must have. Looking back I can identify people who were probably in that category. Thank goodness we have come to realise that being gay is part of being normal. Now I have several lovely close friends who are gay. We have moved on & are mostly more tolerant.

I find transgender a much more complex situation to deal with. So I googled to find out more - as you do.

Body dysmorphia, also known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), is thought to be caused by a combination of factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, & environmental experiences. A family history of BDD or other related mental health conditions, like OCD or depression, may be factors. Differences in brain structure & activity in individuals with BDD, particularly in areas responsible for processing visual information and regulating emotions exist. Some researchers also believe that low levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter, may play a role. Bullying, teasing, abuse, or neglect, can significantly increase the risk of developing BDD. Western society's emphasis on physical perfection and beauty can contribute to negative body image and feelings of inadequacy, potentially triggering or worsening BDD. That is exacerbated by social media, which often portrays unrealistic standards of beauty. Perfectionism & low self esteem can also be factors.

I am wary of the current trend to over medicalising & over diagnosis of people today. I am not convinced that it helps. I'm not talking here about physical conditions like Cancer or Parkinsons. I'm talking more about the power of our brains to create thoughts & perceptions that may not be accurate. There is evidence that we humans have a tendency to live up to a diagnosis, particularly a mental one.

However, the fact is that humans are far more diverse that we knew. Medical science has moved on & there is very interesting neurological research that is producing evidence to explain much that should make us more accepting of difference.

 

Surely we can simply accept that we are different, not only in how we look, but what we believe, what our cultural norms are. If we can't do that we will just become more judgmental & adversarial.  

Role Models & Responsibility.

A role model is someone looked to by others as an example to be imitated. They are admired and their behaviour  is copied. Role models can be good or bad. I might admire someone who has good characteristics such as ethics, skills, experience, humanity. On the other hand many people follow role models that I would consider bad because their characteristics are misogynistic, self serving, unethical even cruel. I could easily name people in both categories, but maybe its better if you decide for yourself. 

The point is we humans do tend to follow other stronger, possibly more charismatic, or even dictatorial people. If we follow role models because they provide inspiration, guidance, and a blueprint for success and positive behavior that is a good thing. Our parents are our first role models. They shape our character. Good parenting is important to the healthy development of a child. 

People may follow bad role models due to many factors, the desire to fit in, the perception of being cool or successful associated with negative behavior, and the influence of peer groups or media. Some may be drawn to negative role models as a way to define themselves or seek validation from those who share their negative views. Again I could easily name some, but I'm sure you can too. 

The reason I'm posting about this is there needs to be a balance with the good role models outweighing the bad, because there will always be "bad actors" trying to achieve prominence. My feeling is that we are at a tipping point & I am going to use the words good & evil here. It seems to me that negative, undemocratic, unethical role models have far too much sway in our world today. Impressionable people worldwide are either voluntarily following them, or are too afraid to speak out against them. A lot of this is driven by the internet & social media. We cannot let that continue.

In order to stop this in it's tracks we all have to take responsibility. We have to be prepared to challenge & speak out against a great deal that is happening in our world. We cannot be passive & hope that others will act on our behalf. Individually we may not have much power, but collectively we can really change things. 

We must retain our freedoms to speak & to act. We must use that to influence decisions & actions.

Annoying Filler Words

 The UK’s most annoying filler words:

1. Innit, 47 per cent
2. Like, 32 per cent
3. Basically, 22 per cent
4. Err, 21 per cent
5. You know, 20 per cent
6. Uh, 17 per cent
7. Umm, 15 per cent
8. Yeah, 13 per cent
9. Literally, 12 per cent
10. Oooh, 10 per cent

The UK’s most used filler words:

1. OK, 30 per cent
2. Err, 26 per cent
3. Right, 22 per cent
4. Umm, 20 per cent
5. Actually, 18 per cent
6. Anyway, 16 per cent
7. Basically, 16 per cent
8. Yeah, 14 per cent
9. Like, 14 per cent
10. Really, 13 per cent

The highlighted ones are the ones I most dislike. I would also add My Bad, So & Awesome. I also realise that I use the word "Absolutely" far too much. The sad thing is that repeatedly using these filler words makes people appear less intelligent, less educated and lacking in people skills. Apparently 23% of people don't realise they are using them. I'm surprised that statistic isn't higher. I have at times been tempted to count the number of times I hear people use the word "like" pointlessly in sentences or phrases  - But I do realise that would be a bit anal & weird.

Why do we do it? Why don't we realise that we are doing it? Sometimes, apparently it's to give us time to formulate what we want to say. But I don't think that applies to "like". I also don't think hesitation or uncertainty explains the over use of "like". I just think it's possibly nervousness, lack of preparation, or an  unconscious habit. I just find it really irritating.

We have been given a brain & a wonderful language. Why don't we use them?

Watchers & Doers

Are you a watcher or a doer? Do you live your life vicariously through the lives of others & not actually live your life? Do you let others influence what you think & do? 

I was watching a football match while changing after a swim today. Not much choice, the screen is always on in the pool changing room. It made me think of the fact that we now have wall to wall womens & mens football on TV & thousands of people actually go to matches. 

Then I thought of the plethora of people who watch cookery programmes on TV & buy millions of cookery books.

Its all relatively passive for a lot of people. Approximately 40.7% of male adults and roughly 31.7% of female adults participate in sports on a weekly basis in the UK. The % of physically active adults (19+ yrs) in the UK is 67.1%. Not dire statistics, but not good enough either. Watching doesn't get you fit.

Then there is cooking. Nearly one in five,19%, say they almost always prepare food using basic ingredients, while 23% cook from scratch most days. Another 21% do so a few times a week. A significant portion of the UK population regularly consumes takeaways or supermarket meals, with nearly half of Brits eating takeaway food up to four times a week, and a substantial amount of the population consuming takeaways at least once a week. So why do we buy so many cookbooks? Is it just food porn?

The psychological type of a doer is ESTP according to Myers - Briggs, which stands for Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving. Watchers probably tend to be supporters - they are loyal & have a team approach. There are loads of sites on the web about personality if you are interested.

My point is that although we all have our own distinctive personality, we humans are changing a lot. We no longer live in caves & have to hunt & forage or even farm ourselves. We are all much more sedentary & time poor. We have stopped getting enough exercise to remain healthy & mobile. We have stopped eating a healthy diet that is good for us. As a result we are becoming more & more unhealthy.

In 2022, an estimated 64% of adults in the UK were classified as overweight or obese, with 29% specifically living with obesity. The largest impairment groups in the UK are people with a mobility impairment (48%). Those statistics are ever increasing with the impact on both the NHS & peoples lives.

We are all responsible for ourselves & our families. No one can make us healthy however skilled. I'm sure almost everyone could do something to not only be healthier, but also enjoy actually living life more. Then possibly there wouldn't be such a huge upswing in mental illness. 

In 2023, about 1 in 5 children and young people aged 8 to 25 years had a probable mental disorder. Life expectancy of people with a severe mental illness is about 15-20 years shorter than those without. My generation cannot understand why this is happening. Life has always been problematic - shit happens. Were we more resiliant? If so why? I heard a programme on radio 4 recently postulating that over diagnosis is part of the problem. Simply put, if a medic tells someone they have a medical problem they live their lives accordingly. 

Whatever the truth is - we are not a healthy society & we all need to do something about it.  Life expectancy of people with a severe mental illness is about 15-20 years shorter than those without. 

The largest impairment groups in the UK are people with a mobility impairment (48%)

Free Speech & Thought Control

Trump said - “I’ve stopped all government censorship and brought back free speech in America.” Really? Actions mean more than words. He has cut $400m from Columbia University because he wants to stifle criticism of Israel. But the real target is dissent of any sort. Obviously in Trumps world "free speech" means speech he approves of.

In his dystopian novel "1984," Orwell explores the concept of Thought Control through the Party's manipulation of language (Newspeak) and omnipresent surveillance, aiming to eliminate independent thought and maintain absolute power. In Oceania, the Party views any thought that challenges its authority as "Thoughtcrime," punishable by the "Thought Police", who use telescreens, informers, and psychological techniques to monitor citizens. 

Is that ringing any bells? Isn't that what Trump & Musk are actively setting out to do in today's America? 

Voltaire supposedly said "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" Actually it was paraphrased by Evelyn Beatrice Hall in her Voltaire biography.

In todays world we really need to understand what is at stake in the actions of people like Trump, Musk, Putin, Netanyahu.......They are deliberately undermining truth & freedom. They want us to be subserviant & compliant in order to gain as much power & wealth as they can. Their actions are entirely self serving. It is very dangerous. Over & over history shows us this type of pattern of behaviour by leaders, notably in the rise of the Third Reich. For milennia civilisations have come & gone. Toynbee said that cilvilisations  have a life cycle of four stages: genesis, growth, breakdown, and disintegration. (Read Jared Diamond "Collapse"). It seems to me that we are very close to the final stage if we do nothing.

There are many ways for countries to be governed. Each country has it's own distinct character & culture & within that people vary hugely. Despite all of that difference, every country & it's population must have freedom if they are to survive well for the benefit of everyone. 

We must all be able to think, speak & argue our point of view freely. We must all be open to the idea that we can be wrong & be able to change our opinion. We must all listen to varying points of view & challenge or support where necessary.

If we lose that ability we are lost. 

Funerals & the Big Issue

When you see a "Big Issue" seller on the street do you walk on by as though they don't exist? The chances are you do - Tides of humanity do.

I went to a funeral yesterday in Summertown, Oxford, for one of my local Big Issue sellers Dan Cordas - Cousins. I had known him & his partner Paul for 12 years. We chatted regularly in the street. As did quite a few other Summertown residents. Dan & Paul were, are, an institution. St Michaels church was full. Far more people than expected. Mostly seemingly my age or even older. They ran out of orders of service despite printing 70.

A third of Big issue sellers are homeless. They are not beggars. They are not allowed to beg. They are trying to earn money to live rather than be dependent. We should all respect that.  

The Big Issue used to only be sold on the streets by authorised vendors, but from 2020 it has been sold in some shops in order to raise money because of the effects of Covid. The Big Issue was founded by John Bird & Gordon Roddick in 1991 as a social enterprise. It is a self-sustaining business, generating income through magazine sales and advertising revenue. It gives sellers an income & dignity. Vendors buy the magazine for £2 each and sell it for £4, keeping the £2 profit. In effect vendors are running their own mini business.

For years Dan & Paul were on their pitch daily outside Tesco's in all weathers. Both of them had mobility & health issues. Both of them were mostly surprisingly cheerful. It was always interesting to talk to them. I knew a little of their back story & both had very difficult experiences in their lives, which shaped the lives they lived. The majority of people in North Oxford thankfully have not had to deal with such difficulties, but quite a few of us really valued Dan & Paul.

Dan had health issues for years, but had deteriorated massively over the last year. He died in January. He will be much missed by those of us who took the trouble to talk to him. Paul will find it very difficult to continue without his friend by his side. 

The real Big Issue is how we as a society treat the less fortunate in our country. We could all do better.

Bystanders

Many years ago, when I was in my 20's, I felt unwell when I was in a pub with my husband & his friend. I went outside to get some air & ended up sitting on the pavement. No one stopped to ask if I was OK or helped me. I was wearing a new suede coat & looked smart. Obviously eventually my husband realised I'd been gone a while & came to find me. I thought it was strange that people just walked on past me.

Since then I have had other more positive experiences showing that people vary in their behaviour when it seems that someone is in trouble. 

There is a Bystander Effect - a theory describing when people are less likely to help someone in need when others are present. People may believe that a situation cannot be an emergency if no one else is helping. Being part of a large crowd can make it so no single person has to take responsibility. People may be concerned about getting involved or fear judgement, legal action or personal harm. It can occur during emergencies, assaults, or other crimes.  

In a macro way I think that we are suffering from the Bystander Effect now. We can all see what is happening in the world - the climate emergency, war in Ukraine & Palestine, Political instability & the rise of dictators acting with seeming impunity, famine & unfair wealth & resources distribution...The list seems endless & very serious. We live in an interlinked world of instantanious communication. We know.

I would argue that each & every one of us cannot afford to be a bystander. We are transitioning to a very different world. The future of that world depends hugely on what we each individually do now. We do have choice. We can stand aside & say that we have no power to influence or change. Or we can ensure that our voice is heard. 

If we have "Influencers" making money out of selling themselves, their ideas & products, then we can all be "Influencers". We have the power of communication today that has never existed before. We just need to use it for the right purposes.

It is vital that the liars, misinformers, power & wealth hungry "bad actors" who are in the ascendent today are stripped of "the Emperors New Clothes" that they wear. They believe they are invincible. They are, but only if we let them. If we do that we deserve what will follow.