Resolution

I don't make New Year resolutions. I generally don't keep them so I accept defeat. I'm never going to be perfect, I just generally try to live my life according to my own moral code.  

This is an opportune time to look back over a life beginning as the second world war ended. I acknowledge the many huge changes I have seen. My life today bears little resemblance to my life as a child, teenager & young adult. In many ways it is a much better life, certainly more comfortable & more informed. However it is hard not to hanker after a less complex, simpler life. Or is that just "rose tinted spectacles?"

I find myself dwelling on the lack of resolution I see around me & in the world. Change for the better is rarely simple. It demands a willingness to see a different perspective. It demands sacrifice & hard work. It demands seeing the world and everything in it as an interlinked & co dependent bio system. Every choice an individual or a group or a society makes has consequences. We just aren't very good at thinking long term what the consequences of those choices might be. 

Just take plastic. Bakelite was the first plastic, invented in 1907. It started being mass produced & widely used when I was born, after the second world war. Then again there was a boom in the 60's & 70's when I was in my late teens & twenties. We all took it for granted. No one gave a thought to the possible problems caused by the amount we were using & it's disposal until the late 1970's when the National Marine Mammal Laboratory concluded that plastic entanglement was killing up to 40,000 seals a year. Annually, this amounted to a 4-6% drop in seal population beginning in 1976.

Think about war. Every war's outcome is uncertain. A military victory does not guarantee a stable and lasting solution. History shows the consequences of war are complex and unpredictable & often unintended. Perpetuating the cycle of violence may well create new conflicts. War does not resolve problems, people resolve problems by talking & negotiating. 

I do believe that we, as a species, have the intelligence & capability to resolve the many problems that beset our world today. In order to do that we have to let go of the things that are the root causes of the problems. I'm not going to list them, I think that deep down, we do all know what is wrong with our world. The trouble is that many of us are not ready to face up to the actions needed to resolve them.

We could create a much better world for everyone & everything in it. We just have to resolve to do it.

 

Now. 

Christmas Spirit

Regular readers will know that Christmas isn't my favourite time of year. Yesterday I fulfilled a long term ambition, to do something positive for the many people who aren't as fortunate as I am.

I went to a huge centre in West Oxford to wash plates & peel veg for a huge charity Christmas lunch today for over 500 people. It's all run by one woman & has been for years. She is amazing. It was very jolly with lots of helpers. We only did 2 hours & I was exhausted. Some volunteers work all day. It made me realise that even amid all the bad news the ability for compassion in people is still there, but you don't hear much about it. I hadn't heard about this, someone at the school my daughter teaches at asked us to help.

I simply could not believe the logistics of this wonderful undertaking. Furniture had to be moved, vast quantities of donated veg had to be prepared, plates & cutlery had to be cleaned, turkeys & stock had to be prepared, (fortunately by men who were obviously chefs), volunteers had to be effectively organised. On the day transport has to be organised to bring people to the venue. The whole thing involves a huge army of volunteers. Although the lovely woman in charge is very organised she actually doesn't necessarily know who will turn up to volunteer or how long they will stay. She is just wonderfully optimistic that it will all come together at the end & it always has - even in Covid.

That is real faith. That is real philanthropy. That is the true spirit of Christmas.

For one day I actually felt that there is hope in the midst of the appalling problems we have in the world. If one woman can achieve all of that & give so many people a wonderful time think what humanity could really achieve.

We just need to have the will to do it.

 

 

A Good Death & Freedom of Choice

Ideally I'd like to just die quietly in my sleep. I don't fancy pain or a long lingering loss of function & quality of life. But we don't get to choose. We just do know it's going to happen, just not when & how. As friends & family die around us it reminds us of the inevitability. 

 

I listened to Esther Ranzen this week. She has stage 4 lung cancer & is considering going to Dignitas if she wants to end her life. Because of her high profile there may well be a new free debate & vote on assisted dying in the UK. Personally I would welcome that & hope that it would pass into legislation.

In my youth I naively thought that I could control life. I know better now. But I do always have a choice in what I do or don't do. The choice may be difficult & coloured by the effect on other people, but it is essentially mine to make. The same is not true of my death. At the moment I have to put up with whatever happens & whatever medics can do about it. 

The most important tenet for Medics is "First do no Harm." They want to do everything they can to make patients better. But that isn't always possible or what the patient wants or needs. The patient should be the centre of any decision making. They should be able to choose whether they want invasive treatment which may well not cure them, but just delay the inevitble & give a few extra weeks or months. 

Tolerating pain, being disabled, having no quality of life & having to see the impact of that on people I love is not what I would want. It's not what a lot of people who are much more affected by illness than I am want either. As long as I am capable of making an informed decision I want to be able to exercise that right to live or die. 

Actually I have tried to control my end as much as I can by leaving a Will, Power of Attorney & a Letter of Wishes. I've also done a "Pick & Mix" funeral list of music & readings I like & stipulated nothing religious. I drew the line at writing my own Eulogy though! But that isn't enough. I'm not sure that I would be able to commit suicide, I don't think I'm brave enough. But I would want to exit at a time & place of my own choosing if I had simply had enough.

At the moment I'm not allowed to do that. If I went to Dignitas it would have to be alone, so that my daughter didn't run the risk of prosecution. I just don't agree with the logic. I think this question has been kicked into the long grass for too long. It's in the "too difficult" box. We need to face up to this & find a caring way to deal with it. 

The mere fact that I'm writing this now when I am relatively well & happy in my life shows that I am able to make a reasoned choice. That should be respected & it should not be beyond the wit of man to sort it out. It's cowardly not to.

Consumerism, Christmas & Conflict

I don't need a Christmas card from friends & family to know that they wish me well. I gave everyone a year's warning when I was going to stop sending Christmas cards, but give the money saved to charities. I am now considering being even more radical about Christmas than that. I need to make my mind up soon whether to go ahead.

This year it isn't just all the unhappy Christmases of my childhood, teenage & early marriage, when all the grandparents were alive, that makes me not enjoy Christmas. It's more that I look at our world & it just seems so wrong to be celebrating in the way we do, whilst listening to the news about war, famine, population migrations, with climate change hovering over everything. Here at home we have unaccelptable levels of poverty & homelessness.

I do think that it's good to be with & remember friends & family. I do understand that all the Faiths have a celebration in mid winter for very good reasons. I just think that our over consumption & overspending has lost sight of what really matters & how unbalanced the world is between the "haves" & "have nots". Listening to "Today" this morning just made me really sad & caused real heartache.

I know I can't right the wrongs, but I'm beginning to feel that I really don't want to participate in it all. If I don't withdraw, I'm in danger of really saying what I think at Christmas "Do's". I don't want to do that because it would embarrass everyone & spoil their festivities. Everyone has the right to decide what they want to do. But there is a lot of pressure to go along with Christmas & all it entails in the UK. I have spent Christmas in Malta & in Libya. Not everyone celebrates in the consumerist way that we do.

This conflict within me has been going on for years, but it's worse now because of the dire situation we face at home & in the world. I'm trying not to be too negative, but when I think of the huge numbers of people in the world who have little or nothing I find it hard to believe that this is acceptable. 

https://www.finder.com/uk/christmas-shopping-statistics

 

Friendly Fire & Collateral Damage

"Friendly Fire" is a euphemism & a metaphor for firing from your own side as opposed to the enemy. It is attributed to the"Fog of War," the confusion inherent in warfare. People who fight wars are good at euphemisms & metaphors. "Collateral Damage" is the unintentional deaths and injuries of people, overwhelmingly women & children, who are not soldiers, and damage that is caused to their homes, hospitals, schools, etc. How you can call it unintentional when we have smart weapons systems & satellite GPS guidance to target precisely where the bombs & rockets fall I really don't know.

Yesterday 3 Israeli hostages were "mistakenly" killed by Israeli soldiers. How can you mistakenly kill people holding a white flag? How can unarmed people be a threat? They weren't wearing shirts so weren't suicide bombers. One of the men had long ginger hair & blue eyes. not your average Arab. I imagine many of the Israeli soldiers in Gaza are young & may be anxious & need to react to threat quickly, but this just shows how futile war is.

The consensus of everyone who understands the history of war seems to be that all wars eventually can only be fixed by negotiating directly round a table. Armistices, surrenders, and ceasefires have interrupted combat in varying ways. They silence weapons but also maintain the state of war, which ends only with a peace treaty.

According to the Chopra Foundation there are 10 ways to resolve conflicts & end wars;-

1. De-escalate the concept of enemy. An enemy can be reframed, in progressive order, as an adversary, competitor, partner, teacher, and finally your equal.

2. Treat the other side with respect. Otherwise you lose them before you start.

3. Recognize that there is the perception of injustice on both sides. This is a point of agreement adversaries can join in.

4. Be prepared to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Here forgiveness means letting go of your desire for retribution and revenge. This is an act of true courage. Even if you believe that the other side doesn’t deserve forgiveness, you deserve peace.

5. Refrain from belligerence. It will be taken as bullying and arouses renewed antagonism.

6. Use emotional intelligence, which means understanding the other side’s feelings, giving them value, and making them equal to your feelings.

7. Reach out to understand the other side’s values, both personal and cultural. The fog of war descends when two adversaries know nothing about one another. The result is a war based on projections and prejudice. The goal is mutual acceptance. At the deepest level we all want the same things.

8. Refrain from ideological rhetoric over politics and religion.

9. Recognize that there is fear on both sides. Don’t be afraid to express your anxieties and to ask the other side what they are afraid of.

10. Do not insist on being right and proving the other side wrong. Give up the need to be right allows you to focus on what you actually want.

 

It isn't simple, but it makes perfect sense. Any thinking person knows that it is true. Why is no one capable of doing it in Israel, Gaza, the Left Bank, Russia & Ukraine? Because they are blinded by another euphemism & metaphor - "The Fog of War." They are literally blind to the futility of what they are doing.

Presents and the Present

I have been wrapping Christmas presents for my small family for 2 days. The annual struggle to think of things they would like or need is over. I do try to put effort into thinking about what I can buy. I am unsure whether my choices will please or go to the present drawer or charity shop. I don't mind that at all. It's just a shame if anyone is disappointed. 

Giving presents on special days to people you love is important. It is a way of showing that you care & it is a joy if you can see genuine pleasure in receiving.The problem is we all have so much & there is little we want or need. 

Christmas is a ritual, but it is a ritual that many simply cannot afford. There were 4.2 million children living in poverty in the UK in 2021/2022. That is one in three children. The Joseph Rowntree Foundation has revealed 1 million children in the UK experienced “horrifying levels of destitution” in 2022. Destitution has almost tripled since 2017– an increase of 186%. According to government figures more than 2 million children are eligible for free school meals in England. This is 23.8% of state school pupils, up from 22.5% in 2022. It all makes me think of Dikensian England. 

 

Christmas is uniquely a Christian celebration, but Hindu's celebrate Diwali, Jews celebrate Hanukkah, both are festivals of lights, Buddhists celebrate Jesus as a teacher. Millions around the world today won't be celebrating anything. They are living in war zones, under dictatorships, suffering poverty, disease & famine. The dichotomy & polarisation is stark, both within our own country & around the world. 

Currently politicians are trying to reach agreement on COP28 & the climate emergency, on whether  Britain is going to ship refugees & migrants to Rwanda, on what to do to end war in Gaza & Ukraine & the many other areas of conflict in the world. 

It's hard to think that presents are important in the present.

 

Packaging

I bought some sliced turkey in a plastic tray with vacuum sealed plastic film on top. I couldn't open it. The seal was so tight I had to attack it with a knife despite the fact that it had a corner tab to aid opening. I regularly cannot open bottles & jars. Opening a tin of anchovies is life threatening. Opening tetra packs of soya milk always, always, ends up with milk spilt. The frustration levels are high. I have 5 completely different tools to help me with this problem. 

Then there is the guilt about all of the packaging that can't go into the recycling wheelie bin. Plastic is the obvious problem. Not least because of how many different types there are.

Unrecycled & much recyclable plastic either goes to landfill, what a bizarre rabbit hole that was to go down, or is exported to poorer countries. Did no one consider that dumping waste in the ground couldn't go on for ever & was a very bad idea? "The UK exports around 60% of the over 2.5 million tonnes of plastic packaging waste it creates. Turkey is the main destination for this waste. British plastic waste (is) being dumped and burned in Turkey, causing “irreversible and shocking” environmental and human health impacts"- UK Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Committee.

The food & food retailing industries have a lot to answer for. They have changed the world landscape. They have created mountains, huge pits, lakes & rivers of plastic waste with little or no consideration of the consequences of their actions. All for their convenience & profit. It's about time they paid the price of cleaning up the mess. They can't rectify a lot of the damage to species & environments, but possibly nature could recover in time.

But we, the public bear responsibility too. We haven't questioned what we were buying & the impact unnecessary, non biodegradable, packaging might have. We have opted for convenience too. Now we all know what we have done. So we all have a responsibility to do something about it. We must not just complain, we must refuse. We must take all the packaging back to the store of origin & make them deal with it responsibly. 

We have to live symbiotically with our planet & stop destroying it. There isn't another option. We humans are too destructive.

An Adversarial, Competitive & Selfish Life.

It seems to me that in my lifetime people generally have become more adversarial, competitive & selfish. I understand that could be because of the speedy world of instant communications that we live in. I also understand that negative news gets reported far more than positive news. However, as a generalisation, I think that humans have become quicker to demand their rights & ignore their responsibilities. I believe many have lost the innate filter which stopped them being verbally abusive, also many more people are physically abusive to others. We tolerate bad behaviour more than we should. We do not enforce existing moral mores & legislation.

We humans want things for ourselves. The difference is that today we want gratification now. I remember having to do without, save up to buy things, make do with second hand. I'm glad that generation after generation sees an improvement in living standards, but I think the time has come to count the cost of consumerism & constant growth. In particular, although I understand the complexity of international disputes, I don't understand why politics tolerates the huge human cost of dictatorships, land grabbing, resources grabbing & ultimately the horror of war.

What is the point of the United Nations if they are unable to reach consensus & negotiate effectively?

What is the point of International Law if it isn't policed, enforced & brings culprits to justice to answer for their crimes?

Obviously the 2 major current conflicts in Ukraine & Gaza are at the forefront of my mind. But Syria, Afghanistan, the Central African Republic, Ethiopia, Libya, Mali, Somalia, South Sudan are in there too. Many of those have been ongoing for years. Innocent people, mainly the old, women & children, live with suffering & death constantly. 

How do we, living in conflict free zones, tolerate that suffering? Do we compartmentalise what we see as not our problem & too difficult? Do we think of it like a computer game rather than real life? Do we just think that there is nothing we can do & it isn't our problem? Yes, I think so. All of those. If humans can commit the horriffic acts they do in wars, they can certainly disassociate themselves from things they see on TV or Social Media.

But it will all come back to haunt us if the underlying problems are not tackled & solved. We are all directly affected by conflict in the world. At a simple level by the shortages in the supply chain. At a complex level because doing nothing makes us less human.

We have to learn to tolerate difference, share land, resources & opportunity more equally. If we don't, if we continue in this adversarial, competitive & selfish life we will get what we deserve & it won't be Nirvana.