Consideration & Politeness

When an oncoming car gives way for me I raise my hand in acknowledgement. It's a second of politeness. I don't even need to take my hand off the wheel. I expect oncoming cars to do the same when I give way. Not sure what the % of people who do is, but a lot of people don't. Given our congested roads today I think both giving way & saying thank you are such small gestures I can't understand why so many people don't do it. Are they just rude or arrogant, not concentrating, or are their minds on other things? Who knows. But it is irritating.

Both data and public perception suggest that people have become more impolite in the 21st century. A Pew research paper found that nearly half of adults believe public behaviour is ruder now than it was before the pandemic. They found that social isolation during COVID-19 caused interpersonal skills to atrophy. Also on line disinhibition has changed manners & etiquette. Traditional rules are disappearing. Heightened political and social divisions have spilled over into everyday interactions, reducing baseline empathy toward strangers. 

The Pew survey defined rudeness as public behaviours ranging from cursing or playing loud music to smoking & taking photos of people without permission. There seems to be a "tit for tat" response, insults or rudeness provokes insults or rudeness & negative interaction can escalate. Hopefully not if you are in a car though. Although I do remember extreme examples of road rage. 

There have always been rude people. Another piece of research said that " these individuals are amoral (or immoral) hotheads who refuse to accept criticism or correction from others. They may also—though less reliably—be low in behavioural inhibition, high in behavioural activation, “blirtatious (quickly and openly expressing their thoughts and feelings to others), narcissistic, and/or Machiavellian".

 

I wondered if rudeness is learned behaviour. As I thought it is. Children learn by imitation & modelling. So the parents or guardians have a huge impact on behaviour. Apparently rudeness spreads like a virus. If others in your group are rude you copy because you want to belong. 

The corollary is that manners, consideration & politeness have to be actively taught to children by those nearest & dearest. In my experience if you smile & are polite you stand more chance of receiving similar behaviour. Being rude, abusive, inconsiderate & impolite will just result in that being the behaviour you receive.

It's a vicious circle which is all too common.    

Medicalising Normality

The Channel 4 documentary "The great ADHD Myth", which has proved controversial, was presented by the NHS psychiatrist Dr Max Pemberton, who concluded that ADHD was a “social construct” rather than a medical condition, and schools should better support children rather than doctors medicating them into fitting into a supposed norm. I haven't watched it yet, but I have been wondering whether we have over medicalised human behaviours that are actually within a "normal" spectrum.

If we have learned anything about our species with the development of science, it is that we humans are infinitely variable in how we think & behave. I have lived through the period when not being heterosexual was illegal. How ridiculous that seems now. Now we have LGBTQIA+ definitions of sexuality. I have to admit that I don't fully understand all of that. But it clearly makes my point that there are huge "normal" variations in sexuality.

I have also lived through much of my life when the common response to being anxious or depressed was something akin to "that's life - get over it". Stoicism & resilience were the answer. Now we have several neurodiverse conditions - Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dyspraxia & Dysgraphia. Again, I can't claim to understand what each of those involves, but I do know that one size doesn't fit all. There are different levels in each individual. Just heard of a new one - Rejection Sensitivity Disphoria - an emotional and physical response to real or perceived rejection, criticism, or failure!

My point is that being human is complicated, mentally, physically & emotionally. For every difference in thought & behaviour there is a huge range of "normal". I'm really not at all sure that compartmentalising & diagnosing people has helped us. Which brings me towards accepting that the medicalising of difference may well just be creating problems. 

There was a time when gay people were systematically persecuted - imprisoned, forced into chemical castration & given electro convulsive therapy. Now, hopefully we know better & are more tolerant of something that is also widespread in other animals. 

As to neurodiversity, why can't we just accept the we are very complex animals who are often "wired" very differently. Why do we have to diagnose & medicalise conditions which seem increasingly to just be part of a hugely diverse picture of humanity. Why can't we just accept difference exists. Why do we want to be homogenous, part of the crowd, not outsiders? We give people stimulant drugs like Ritalin & Amphetamines. We also give them non stimulants, anti psychotics & SSRI's. The list is endless. There are always side effects with drugs. Virtually all medical drugs are toxic in some way. Many of these drugs are being given to children & young people. 

I worry that we are just creating huge profits for the very wealthy Pharma industries & doing unknown harm to the people who are prescribed the drugs, because we don't have the time or the money to counsel & support & treat in other ways. 

 

Wealth Distribution & Inheritance

On & off I've been listening to BBC radio 4 "Tony Hawks is Giving Nothing Away" https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002fl03  It is very interesting & fits with what I have thought for years. I simply don't believe in inherited wealth for many reasons which are explored in the programme better than I can. 

In simple terms inherited wealth perpetuates wealth & land ownership in the hands of a select few. If the inheritance is substantial it can change the life of the inheritor, who did nothing to earn the money & land & will never need to work. On the other hand if the money & land is given to charity for example it can do so much good & benefit far more people. 

I have seen situations where offspring feel that their parents money is their right & due. I have also seen situations where one child is substantially better off than another & isn't prepared for the parent to give more to the less wealthy child. Inheritance does not breed altruism.

So I made the decision years ago that my only child would not inherit everything I leave behind. I am fortunate financially, but my husband & I earned everything we have through a combination of having good jobs, working hard to get senior positions & living fairly frugally. 

I think the really important thing about inheritance is that parents are open about what they intend to do & discuss it with their children. The reasons behind the decision are really important. After my mother died I discovered that she had cut me out of her will. Although there wasn't much to inherit I was devastated. It had a hugely emotional impact even though we had a difficult relationship all my life. I was an only child. It was a slap in the face.

My daughter has known what my will would be since before I wrote it. We discussed it & I have written a letter to her expressing my love & pride in the person she is with the will. She will inherit what I consider a reasonable amount, but the rest will be distributed to several charities. I think she understands & is happy with the decision. While I am alive I try to be generous both to my small family & to charities. I'm alive to see the benefit of doing that.

So I do not have any understanding whatsoever of the very wealthy who seemingly are only interested in amassing even more money & possessions for themselves. The net worth of individual multi billionaires eclipses the GDP or national income of small to mid sized nations - e.g. Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos hold personal net worth figures surpassing the nominal GDP of countries such as Hungary, New Zealand, or multiple smaller developing economies.

https://fortune.com/2025/04/02/world-record-number-of-billionaires-wealth-higher-than-most-gdp-despite-stock-market-bloodbath/  

Money can do so much good. It should not be concentrated in the hands of a few. Our relationship to wealth has become completely unbalanced. How have we reached the point where so few have so much wealth & therefore power? I would love the very wealthy to discover the joys of philanthropy. It's good for the soul. 

 

 

Work & Unemployment

According to the song from Cabaret "money makes the world go around". We need it for basic survival - food, water, a place to live etc. Society needs it for financial exchange, jobs, trade, and public services etc. Financial gain often motivates people's choices and actions more than other values do. 

The world of work & paid employment has changed beyond all recognition in my lifetime. The UK labour market has shifted from traditional 9 to 5 office & manufacturing models to widespread remote & hybrid work & an increase in digital & gig economy roles. There are new structural challenges with post pandemic inactivity & rising youth unemployment. My husband & I both had professional jobs for our lifetimes, both with excellent pensions. The jobs themselves were interesting & challenging although the hours were long. 

There are new roles which simply didn't exist 10 years ago - Artificial Intelligence & Data roles, Cyber Security & Cloud Computing, Digital Health & Remote Logistics, Green Economy & Sustainability.....I literally don't have any idea what most of these involve. I certainly don't know what qualifications skills & attributes tomorrows workers need in order to be successful in tomorrows world of work. 

How do our young people choose which subjects they should continue with & which they should drop? What sort of careers guidance do they get at school to enable them to choose whether to opt for an academic or technical further education course? The pace of change seems too fast for our traditional education system or parents & teachers to cope with. 

Are we producing a generation of children fit only for unemployment? What a waste of talent that would be.

There are some interpersonal skills that are applicable in any situation - active listening, communication, empathy, conflict resolution, teamwork, dependability, adaptability, leadership.... These are vitally important in today's changing world. How many schools teach them? How many parents & teachers value them? 

The current unemployment rate in the UK is 4.9% or 1.76 million. Youth unemployment is 16.4% - 1 in 6 young people are seeking work.

 

Human capital, (a persons skills, knowledge & health), is one of the most important sorts of capital. Financial Capital (the liquid funds, cash & investments available to trade & grow an organisation) is also necessary. Together they make personal & economic wealth.

We need workers, workers need jobs appropriate to their capabilities. We need a framework for stability & growth in order to keep our society on an even keel. At the moment there is no balance, no equilibrium. We are failing as a society & we are failing individuals. The Industrial Revolution started in 1760 & irrevocably changed our society from agrarian to industrial. We are now in an AI & robotic revolution that is changing society in a similar way.

Our school report would say "Could do better if they tried."  

Seeing is Believing & Willful Blindness

We are having the 5th almost consecutive heatwave in the UK this week. July has been the sunniest month on record for the UK, as well as the driest July on record for England and Wales.There have so far been 33 days this year when temperatures have exceeded 30C in the UK. This week, it is likely the record of 34 days, set in 1995, will be broken. For the first time ever, a temperature of 35C has also been recorded somewhere in the UK in the three consecutive months of May, June and July - August will join that list by the end of this week. Wisley in Surrey is now up to 52 days without recording any rain - This could easily rise to 60 days with no rain the forecast across southern England. (Source BBC)

The first heatwave was in late May - Amber - Max temp 35.1 The 2nd started in mid June - Amber / Red - Max temp 38 The 3rd & 4th were most of July - Amber - Max temp 35.5 

The impact on so many areas of life has been obvious;- 

• Excess deaths 2,877 in May & June alone.
• Severe drought conditions in all of Wales & half of England, affecting water supply, (reservoirs & rivers at critical levels), & farming in particular.
• Severe soil moisture deficit (SMD) caused clay-based railway embankments to shrink, disturbing track geometry and creating rail buckling risks across the national network.
• Exceptionally severe wildfire hazards, forcing fire and rescue services to keep personnel deployed on prolonged, multi-day damping-down operations at recent burn sites. 
• NFU predict very poor yields of cereals & a shortage of grass & winter feed for animals.

We can all clearly see & feel what is happening. There is no escaping the impact on our daily lives. At a basic level the heat impacts our ability to function effectively. Hot & humid weather affects people mentally & physically. Sleep is difficult. Productivity drops. Records are regularly being broken.

To me it seems obvious, man made climate change is here. Now. We may well be at or even past the tipping point. Earth Overshoot Day was July 30th. This date marks when humanity's resource consumption for the year exceeds Earth's capacity to regenerate those resources, meaning we live in ecological deficit spending for the rest of the year. Humanity currently uses nature 73% faster than ecosystems can renew, requiring 1.73 Earths. In 1971 Overshoot Day was December 31st. As our consumption grows the date moves earlier & earlier.

 https://overshoot.footprintnetwork.org/

    

It isn't rocket science. Many of the commodities & resources we take for granted are finite e.g. fossil fuels, metal ores, minerals & rocks, nuclear fuels, freshwater (aquifers replenish slower than extraction rates, drought obviously makes this worse). These cannot renew & population growth increases demand.

I am not a scientist but all of this is clear to me. I can see it & I believe it. I don't understand the mindset of climate change deniers. It can't be that they are all below median intelligence. Surely they can't all be so fixated on their own immediate needs & oblivious to the very real probability that we are leaving an unbearable & unlivable inheritance to our children & grandchildren?  

There are none so blind as those who will not see - Jeremiah 5:21   

 

Justice, Joint Enterprise & Early Release

The case of PC Andrew Harper is distressing & emotive & is causing debate in light of the Early Release Scheme due to prison overcrowding. In 2019 Harper was killed when responding to a burglary, (theft of a quad bike). 3 young men, (one 18 the driver & two 17 year old minors) were found guilty of manslaughter & were given 16 & 13 year sentences. A 21 year old was also charged with conspiracy to steal. Only the driver pleaded guilty to manslaughter. The sentences were reviewed and upheld.

The 2 younger passengers are eligible for early release under the Early Release Scheme. Unsurprisingly this has created much discussion about this case in particular & wider issues regarding criminals whose actions result in the death of any police officer or first responder.

I discussed this with friends over coffee this week & also with a different friend afterwards. There were very differing points of view. 

What happened to PC Harper & the impact on his family, friends & colleagues cannot be overstated. But the issues raised are at the least interesting legally.

The crux of one point of view is - could the passengers actually have stopped the driver continuing? The view of my coffee morning group was yes passengers can speak up, but they can't safely physically grab the controls because they could cause a crash & endanger life. If the boys warned the driver & he ignored them that makes his actions more serious. If they encouraged him that makes them legally liable too. I haven't found any evidence as to where the boys were sitting in the car front or back. If they were in the back it seems unlikely they could do much physically. I also wonder what evidence there was as to whether they encouraged him or did tell him about Harper & tell him to stop. I don't know whether or when they were all aware that Harper was being dragged. I have since seen the footage of the two boys attitude on TV which was appalling & did them no favours. 

My other friends point of view is that all three of the boys were equally responsible. So basically, as in murder, it was joint enterprise. This allows more than one person to be charged with a crime even if only one person directly did the harmful act. The others helped, encouraged or planned the crime. Again I haven't found anything to support or deny this idea. My assumption would be that all three must have planned the theft of the quad bike, but the killing of PC Harper was not murder because it was not premeditated & planned. It was a dreadful accident. The important element is if & when the boys all knew Harper was being dragged & what, if anything they did about it once they knew. 

 

I wish I knew more. But more importantly I think that in order for the public to make an informed decision on the idea of Early Release for criminals like this, they need to know much more of the background to the crime. Much of what we are seeing on TV & in the media is lacking in any detail other than the very sad & emotional bare bones. 

Our prison system is frighteningly close to collapse & has been in an appalling state for years. I resigned from the Independent Monitoring Board of Gloucester prison in 2013. So I know that for a fact. Privatisation was coming into the system & things went downhill from there. There have been decades of underfunding & mismanagement in the justice system. We are now seeing the results of that.

I was also a magistrate for years, so have some understanding of the whole justice system. My conclusion at the end of my time was that there is a lot of law, but not an equivalent amount of justice. The UK locks far too many people up. England, Wales & Scotland have the highest per capita rates in Western Europe compared to nations favouring rehabilitation and community alternatives.

There are always alternatives & different ways of doing things. The UK really needs to examine the justice in our justice system.  

 

Dogmatism, Dialogue & Politics.

It is so easy to see things in black & white terms. There is only one god & it's mine, not yours. You are deluded & will not go to heaven. I have been saved & will. Some politicians are convinced their party has the only workable policies. I watch someone on the far right like Zia Yusuf for example & despair. The arrogance & bombast precludes any semblance of listening to a different point of view. The mantra seems to be shout louder & over the top of anyone disagreeing. Interrupt anyone voicing a different view. Steamroller your opinion into prominence. No semblance of dialogue.

 

It is important to have conviction politicians. It is important that they believe in their policies. As long as those policies are backed up by evidence & have been properly researched. But policies also need to be inclusive, in the interests of the people as a whole, across the strata of the public. They should not benefit a particular group, unless it it to redress an unfair imbalance. 

Our education system values dialogue. Universities are based on tutorials & debating societies. My friendship groups are interesting because they are made up of such a diverse selection of people - different age groups, different ethnicities, male & female, different religions & none, different political affiliations, different financial situations.... But the thing I value most is that I can disagree with friends & still value them & remain on good terms. Sometimes they actually do persuade me to change my mind. (Not a lot though! It's taken me 81 years to really know what I think, what is important to me)

I worry we are losing the ability as a society to value difference. We are becoming more & more polarised both as a society & as individuals. There are far more grey areas, far more nuances, than we allow for. Circumstances change. We really need to listen more & be prepared to change our opinions. We need to understand that our opinions are simply thoughts our brain has created. They should not be set in stone. Our brains are fallible & make mistakes. 

Mistakes are good, so long as we learn from them. Changing your mind is acceptable. Your mind is not pre eminent. Others might well be better. You are not omnipotent, whether you are a low paid worker or a multi millionaire.