New Years Revolution

Looking back, as we tend to do at this time of year, I realise that I have always been a rebel or reformer, (put kindly) or a bit B..... minded, (possibly more accurate). But, and its a big but, I have also always wanted to please & put others first. I was " seen and not heard" as a child. I suspect the conflict between the two has lurked throughout my life, but it is the way girls of my generation were brought up. I was once analysed on a senior management course & the dichotomy was pointed out.

Anyway I'm going to rebel - (I think) - If I can do it without hurting people's feelings. Tact was never a strong point, so this might prove difficult. I think when you know the oblivion taxi is waiting you are entitled to be a little selfish. I'm going to try to do what I want for a change.

It's not that I want to do anything drastic - I've already crammed a lot of experiences into my life. It's more about not doing things I don't really enjoy. We all compromise to some extent - with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends & relatives, our neighbours. It's how a civilised society works. But I think I have always put my own needs & desires at the bottom of the list. It's time to learn how to say "no" without harm.

I don't like:-

• Doing nothing. I've always been very active & task oriented.
• Sitting or standing for a long time.
• Big "Do's". I enjoy talking to people and being able to hear what they say. Otherwise what's the point? Now I'm partly deaf it's even worse.
• Superficial or one sided conversations. I've never been any good at "working the room".
• A lot of noise. Ditto No 3 bullet point. Music in shops drives me potty - I can't think.
• Christmas 2015 style - Rampant consumerism. 
• "Stuff" - I don't really need anything. I'm trying to simplify my life.

I like:-

• Interesting people & places.
• Children - (reasonably well behaved & in moderation).
• Learning new things.
• New experiences. 
• Old friends.
• Good food - but not too much of it.
• A good white wine.
• Reading a good book / Watching a good TV programme, film or play / Listening to music, (of my choice).

I have come to the conclusion that I have to accept that I don't have the energy I once had. I get tired. Even doing nothing is tiring. My memory has gone to pot. I'm not as tolerant as I was. (Previously I could always see everyone's point of view. Not good for decision making!) In other words, dear reader, I'm well on the way to being a boring old woman.

It has struck me that I should enjoy my remaining years & not waste a moment on doing something I don't want to. Life should be a balance between fun & necessity. Up till now I think I've had too much of the latter. Must aim for more FUN.

Accident Prone - a visit to A & E -

I went through the whole of my life never breaking a bone despite playing hockey, netball & tennis at school. Now I do seem a bit accident prone & have just spent another mindless afternoon in A&E. I think I will have to give up family parties for my new year resolution.

This time I jarred my foot against the bed & had a suspected broken toe. Earlier in the year I fell over & broke a finger at a friends birthday. Both resulted in black, swollen digits & quite a lot of pain. The worst outcome was the inability to use the hand & now walk with anything but slippers on.

Unsurprisingly A&E was very busy. It was the day after Boxing Day & I imagine that a lot of people, like me, had waited until the festivities were over. A&E is a microcosm of human life. All ages, ethnicities etc etc. Even 2 lots of police with handcuffed prisoners. You know you are in for a long wait whatever the injury or pain level & people cope in different ways.

I took a book by Caroline Lucas about politics - very good, but I couldn't concentrate. So I watched instead - for hours. Over an hour to be triaged. Then an Xray, then a Nurse Practitioner.

The thing that struck me, having been on holiday with an American who didn't "do" queuing, is how compliant we Brits are. The waiting room was almost full. None of us knew how long we would be there. There is no clue. I have been to A&E's where they have an electronic display giving an estimated waiting time - but not at the JR. Giving information to patients isn't high on the list of priorities.

You don't know who is at the front of the queue or where in the process everyone is. The workings of the system are a mystery. You don't know if the relevant practitioner knows you are there. But it does all work - very, very slowly. You just have to have faith & be a patient patient.

People were quiet. They didn't pester staff, who were obviously working efficiently to protocols. We were all resigned. I think I went off into a zombie like state & had to fight not to go to sleep.

The question is should A&E work any more efficiently? Should there be more staff? Should more money be put into this very front line service? I imagine you could throw lots more money at it, but would that be the right solution?

Personally I would just like to see patients being consulted & informed more. I can see it from the point of view of the staff. They do their best & their best is excellent. But doing this day after day can result in staff distancing themselves from the patient as an individual. People can become numbers to be processed through.

You are trapped in a waiting room. If, like me, you are on your own, you can't pop off for a drink, or go to the loo, or a walk, (not that I could), without worrying that you will miss your name being called.

It's probably never going to be a good experience, but I do think there is room for improvement.

Ghost of Christmas Past

We moved house just before I went to Grammar school at 11 & oddly I don't seem to be able to remember anything about Christmas in our first house at all. I do remember it being very cold in winter with no heating other than a coal fire in the living room & ice & snow inside the windows in my bedroom. My blankets were heavy, ex services I think, but not warm. Having a wash in the bathroom was a challenge to be overcome as quickly as possible. Fortunately I was only allowed one bath a week.

The new house did have radiators at some point, but I can't remember whether it was initially or later on. It was still cold though.

I had a stocking - one of my Dad's long socks. It wasn't filled with presents. There were tangerines, nuts & sweets. I regularly got books for presents. Always hardbacks. Always Classics. Mostly illustrated. I loved them & could read for ages. My daughter has still got some of them. I remember a compendium of games & a Bagatelle. I also remember a beautiful home made dolls house too. When I got older there were clothes. There simply wasn't the money when I was a child & there certainly wasn't the choice. I was born in 1945 so post war austerity lasted for a long time.

Children played simple games & mostly amused themselves. Working class parents were too busy earning a living & making ends meet to play with children. They were worn out & seemed old to me. Life then was frugal looking back through the prism of today.

We always had a real tree with real candles which were lit on Christmas Eve & Christmas Day. Yes, the curtains did catch light one year! My mother was German, so Christmas was traditional & we didn't deviate. Christmas Eve was more important than Christmas Day. I always had iced Lebkuchen and can't eat it to this day. The smell and taste immediately transport me back. Nowadays cooked red cabbage is quite common, but when I was a child no one else ate it as a hot vegetable.

My mother always worked very hard but particularly so at Christmas. She was a good basic cook - meat & 2 veg. She did quite a few German dishes - potato pancakes which I liked with jam. It seems an odd combination but I loved it. She also did normal pancakes with various fruits - again delicious. Her gravy was wonderful & she abhorred Bisto with good reason. Her German cakes, Gugelhupf for example, were really good.

Now I am older I appreciate just how hard she worked to put good food on the table. My father & I took it all for granted. We offered to help, but it was difficult to match her exacting standards.

Both my parents must have sacrificed a lot to "do" Christmas. In fact it's only now I realise how hard things must have been for them all through my childhood & adolescence. We all take our parents for granted. We see them as a constant in our lives & not as individuals. We don't really ask them about their lives & what they want. Once we do begin to empathise it is often too late. So I think about Christmas past at this time of year. For me it isn't a particularly happy memory, but at least I understand more from my parents point of view.

Such a shame I can't tell them that. Family Christmases aren't necessarily jolly occasions for everyone. There are often tensions under the surface which come to the fore. Too much eating, drinking & sitting about can be claustrophobic & lead to arguments. It is an opportunity though, once a year, to try to get into the real spirit of kindness, tolerance & thanksgiving.

 

Pantomime

I am a volunteer usher in a theatre. This is the Panto season. By the time the season ends I will know the production extremely well. In fact there is a song that seems to be embedded in my brain already. (Rather perverse considering that I can't remember what I did yesterday!)

Normally I would only see a production once, so it's a completely different experience. I am simply amazed at the cast. How do they go out on stage day after day & do a couple of performances for weeks on end? How do they bring the same energy & joy to the performance over and over again? They must surely get physically tired - it's an all singing all dancing production. The sheer professionalism & talent is impressive. So far it has never become mechanical. It seems fresh and new every time.

A panto audience is very different to any other. There are obvious differences because it is mainly children & there are Panto traditions of audience participation. The audience involvement in the characters is central to the whole thing. Achieveing that involvement is a real skill. Bringing that much joy to a theatre full of people must be really rewarding.

Audience behaviour did come as a bit of a shock as this is my first Christmas season. A lot of people seem to arrive late, often even after the performance has started. They are allowed in. Given I am routinely on time for anything I personally find it hard to understand. Quite a lot of people go in & out during the performance - Understandable if children need the loo or are frightened of the "baddie". Surprising to me if it's adults. Especially if they are seated in the middle of a row & have to disrupt everyone else. If I were an actor giving my all I would be put off by people walking out. If I were in the audience around the people going in & out I would be irritated. It just seems rude and unnecessary to me. Surely adults can wait for the interval?

There are far more consumables eaten & drunk in a Panto. That's fine by me, but the ushers have to pick up all the litter after the performance. I have always been truly surprised that adults just leave their litter on the floor, but it's a whole new "ball game" after a Panto. We need quite a few plastic sacks for everything. It would be so nice if people took their litter out with them & deposited it in the bins. Why is it acceptable to drop your litter on the floor in a theatre when it's illegal in the street?

Any performance is such a team effort. There are huge numbers of people involved in every theatre production. Ushers are probably the lowliest in the hierarchy, the actors are the stars. In between there are a myriad of people doing very diverse tasks, but everyone is necessary to put a show on in front of an audience.

I'm just surprised when some members of the audience don't seem to appreciate that. The worst crime to my mind is those who dash for the exits at the end whilst the audience are clapping. Are they really in so much of a rush that they can't show appreciation for all the effort to entertain them?

Bombing Syria

I'm a fairly ordinary person. I try to be well informed, but I'm not "Brain of Britain". Generally speaking I question things & try to find answers.

I don't understand 2 fairly basic things about the government's decision to bomb Syria.

Firstly, given that we have had 7 years of cutbacks & recession due to the mess the banks landed the world in, how can we suddenly find the £millions it will cost to be an active part of the bombing campaign? Where has the money come from? If it was lying in some deep pocket somewhere how come we have just had a financial statement which continues the drastic cuts & the hardship well into future years when the deficit is not getting any smaller?

Secondly, given that oil is a precious & finite resource which the world depends on, how come it's OK for that same oil to be the target of the bombing.What possible sense is there in blowing millions of barrels of oil up? I know it generates income for ISIS, I'm not daft. But surely it's criminal to destroy a non renewable, major, fossil fuel resource now we have passed "Peak Oil"? Aren't there other, better, ways to defeat ISIS & cut off their money supply?

Is it just that dropping bombs is the easy answer to look as if we are doing something useful?

Tolerance & Anger

"I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off. My people skills are just fine - It's my tolerance of idiots that needs work". From a Facebook post which made me laugh because I could easily apply it to myself.

The Physiology of Anger.

1. Fight or flight - Muscles become very tight, causing an “uptight” feeling.
2. Chemicals, (catecholamines). are released causing us a burst of energy, which causes a sugar deficiency, so an angry person may “shake from anger”.
3. Heart rate accelerates: The average of 80 climbs to 180 beats per minute.
4. Blood pressure rises: The average of 120 over 80 suddenly soars to 220 over 130.
5. The body prepares for survival. It safeguards itself against injury and bleeding, releasing chemicals to clot the blood, (potentially dangerous - the clot can travel through the blood vessels to the brain or heart).
6. Rate of breathing increases to get more oxygen into the body.
7. Increased blood flow enters our limbs and extremities.
8. Attention narrows.
9. Hormones (adrenaline and noradrenaline) are released.

All of this happens automatically with no effort on our part. Therefore we are not in control of our body, or, it could be argued, our mind. We beome a dangerous mutant of ourselves, capable of things we could never have dreamed of.

Is this a description of what is happening, daily, all around the world? Does this explain the fundamentalist beliefs, which I do not dignify with the word religious, & which drive people to think that atrocities are justifiable in any way?

Anger is a useful tool in some circumstances. Tolerance is vital to the continuance of human life in societies with different cultures. We all need both.

What we don't need is emotional thinking driving important decisions and out of control behaviour.

Children - Let them be.

"Children are born geniuses. The world just sucks it out of them" - Marin Alsopp - conductor. I heard this on R4s "Midweek" this morning. It crystallised my own opinion & it made me think.

I remember my own childhood distinctly. It was all about conformity to other peoples rules. My parents. My teachers. Other children's parents. Other children. The one overriding urge was to be like everyone else. To fit in. If Mr Clewer told me in primary school that good pictures came from outlining everything in black, everything was outlined in black. If he stood at the back of the class & crept up on us in maths lessons to rap us over the knuckles with a ruler for some misdemeanor, that was how life was. You did what you were told & didn't deviate. At all.

My mother insisted I learned to play the piano. I did become quite good over the years, but had to stop when grammar school work became overwhelming & I didn't have time to practice. I escaped through playing the piano, although I hated being stuck in the cold, unused, front room to practice every day. I knew that everyone who passed could hear me & they didn't have to do it, so I was different.

Grammar school was just an extension of Primary except that you were banded. Sorted into groups according to academic ability. Your uniform defined you and made you uniform. It was all about learning by rote. Not just subjects, but how to behave. I really don't think I learned how to think until I had finished with education.

In the 60's I did a 3 year degree equivalent course at my Art, Music & Drama college. I certainly didn't learn to be creative until after I had finished that. We weren't taught to paint or draw or do anything creative. We were supposed to pick it up by osmosis. There was the stimulation of other students & of London galleries & museums. I don't think I had set foot in either before that. But it was too late for me. Any "genius" had been sucked out.

Now we test to extremis. We tick boxes. We don't allow children to fail or to take risks or change their minds. We don't allow them to find their own path. We don't value difference. Their lives are orchestrated by parents & teachers. They aren't allowed to just "be".

Most are squeezed tubes of toothpaste. All originality & real creativity has gone.

How sad. They are the future.

A Cold is a Cold is a ....B..... Nuisance

I can't remember the last time I had a streaming cold. I don't think I have ever had Flu'. So I had forgotten the misery that a simple virus can inflict. To my mind Bronchitis, Sinusitis & Laryngitis, which I have had many times, are all much worse. The ultimate is Pneumonia & Pleurisy, which I have also had & hope never to repeat the experience. (Thank goodness for the wonders of modern vaccination).

It started gently with a sore throat last Wednesday evening. Eventually I couldn't talk, not a problem really, I don't talk to myself a lot now. (Only in extremis). It was interesting to discover what my voice sounded like when people phoned though. Swallowing was uncomfortable.

Then I started streaming & explosively sneezing at the weekend. My ribs are actually sore from sneezing. I dread having something in my mouth or hands when I sneeze because whatever it is would end up scattered everywhere. (Then I would have to clean it up!) There have been near misses. Breathing through my nose is either exquisitely uncomfortable or completely impossible.

My eyes are sore, red rimmed & prickly. My "normal" slight deafness is much worse. I do hope my TV doesn't disturb the new neighbours. Not a good start to a friendly relationship.

My head & face ache. My teeth feel very peculiar - I think that's incipient Sinusitis.

My "normal" hot sweats are immeasurably worse. My cleaner actually complained how cold my house was. To me it's unbearably hot with the heating on & I'm continually stripping off during the day or throwing the duvet off at night.

I have watched daytime TV for the first time in living memory - apart from Wimbledon & that doesn't count. I have also officially become an old lady & have started a jigsaw. It was a big charity shop mistake - a Renoir, Les Parapluis - very impressionist, therefore difficult. I have done the border, but may give up on the middle.

It is so frustrating to want to be horizontal & asleep & know that the minute you are all the symptoms get worse.

Ah well - the end must be in sight & at least I'll have some anti bodies.

ISIS / ISIL / DAESH - Terror & Death

Daesh is an acronym for the Arabic phrase "al-Dawla al-Islamiya al-Iraq al-Sham" (Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant - ISIL). It's another word for ISIS - but apparently one that ISIS militants dislike because it is similar to the Arabic words 'Daes', 'one who crushes something underfoot' and 'Dahes', translated as 'one who sows discord'.

The world is full of discord, conflicting & mis information, pain, sadness, fear & death. It isn't surprising that many see this as the "end of days". 

Matthew 24:7 - For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. The concept of an apocalypse is known by Jews, Christians, 7th day Adventists, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses & Muslims.

Islamic eschatology is the branch of Islamic scholarship that studies Yawm al-Qiyāmah (pronounced yome-ul-key-ah-mah; Arabic: يوم القيامة‎ "the Day of Resurrection") or Yawm ad-Dīn (pronounced yome-ud-dean; يوم الدين "the Day of Judgment").^[1] This is believed to be the final assessment of humanity by God (Allah), consisting of the annihilation of all life, resurrection and judgment.

The capacity of man to kill, maim & torture fellow human beings goes back to the earliest times. It seems to be inherent within us, but usually dormant until triggered by events. We seem to have the capacity to do unspeakable things & worse, justify them to ourselves, usually through religious belief.

The problem is that when something like Paris happens we are shocked into an emotional reaction & can easily behave in a way which exacerbates the situation. For example, while I understand the Tricoleur campaign on Facebook & the singing of the Marsellaise, I think on reflection they were ill advised.

We should respond to all killing of innocent people in an evenhanded way. Civilians, women and children have been dying appallingly in the hotspots of the world for years now. Europe & the West hasn't exactly stood shoulder to shoulder with them in the same way. Look at the mis management of the refugees by Europe. Killing non combatants is unacceptable wherever it happens. We should make that clear. Otherwise it looks as if we only think that killing Westerners is important.

At least 210,000 Afghan, Iraqui & Pakistani people have died in those conflicts.
At least 220,000 Syrians have died in their civil war.

What happened in France is tragic and dreadful. It is the act of brainwashed criminals. But, it should be seen as part of a whole & put in context.

Oxford Pavement Rage

I may well deserve a prize for grumpiest 70 year old woman.

I walked to see friends who live 10 minutes away yesterday. On the way I had to negotiate undulating & sloping pavements caused by tree roots & access to parking in front of houses, where kerbs have been lowered. I also avoided potholes & broken paving.

It was bin day so people's wheelie bins were not just on the pavement but the binmen pull them out to the kerbside ready for the lorry. This means pedestrians have to weave in and out because the pavements are too narrow & there are bushes in front of houses over lapping the pavement. (I am actually tempted to go along the streets I walk & trim all the hedges & low tree branches, but no doubt that would be illegal.) You actually have to go out into the road.

In addition there are cars parked all along most roads, so you have to walk out in the middle of the road. Here in affluent North Oxford many of them are vast status symbol 4x4s totally unsuitable for city driving. In theory cars are parked in designated marked resident parking areas. In practice everyone plays Russian roulette with the parking wardens & cars, vans and & even huge lorries are parked on double yellows straddling the kerb. There is imminent danger of walking headlong into the mirrors of lorries. Again often the pavements aren't wide enough to walk past.

Then there is the perennial infestation of skips in North Oxford to negotiate.

Bikes are a constant silent hazard because cyclists ride up one way streets the wrong way & weave in and out of pedestrians on the pavement. Apparently warning bells are no longer de rigeur. If you walk at night you realise that neither are lights! Then there are the ubiquitous scootering children whizzing up & down.

Finally there are the pavement hogs. Groups of adolescents, families, friends who amble along chatting, taking the whole width of the pavement regardless of people trying to pass or approaching. 

It really isn't pleasant walking the streets. I am surprised that there aren't more accidents, although I did see an elderly cyclist knocked off his bike by a carelessly opened car door this week - parked illegally.

I really don't know how parents with pushchairs or the elderly needing "wheeled walkers" manage. I have only seen a couple of elderly people on motorised scooters since I have lived here, it just isn't a practical option. Anyone on crutches takes their lives in their hands.

It seems ridiculous that pedestrians in cities are marginalised & can't walk safely on pavements. It's a really difficult problem to solve. Roads have to have drainage & presumably a camber, but I do wonder whether it's possible to do away with kerbs altogether in residential streets. It would cost a fortune though.

The fact is that our cities are unable to cope with the conflicting needs of people & modern life.To quote - this is "No Country for Old Wo/Men"

Hughs War on Waste & Famine in Ethiopia

Don't these two news items just say everything about how f.....up our society is?

Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall is trying to stop us & the Supermarkets from wasting vast amounts of perfectly edible food. On the other side of the world Ethiopia is again heading for an even worse famine than in 1983 - 85 when more than 400,000 people died.

http://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2015/aug/25/un-ethiopia-need-food-aid-after-poor-rains

While we squander precious resources Ethiopia is in the grip of drought which will make 4.5 million people need food aid and be close to starvation.

How do we tolerate this?

We don't actually see it - it's a film on the TV - we are distanced from it. We don't have to look into the eyes of people who literally have nothing. We don't have to watch children die in front of us. It doesn't really touch our lives.

We are not responsible for the drought or the famine, but we are sure as hell responsible for our own wasteful actions in a country of plenty. We are guilty of complacency & think that donating a little money is enough - It isn't.

We have to tackle the root problem of a world of two very different halves - the Have's and the Have Nots. The Have's must give up their wasteful ways & over indulgent choice & be prepared to equably share all the worlds resources. We don't own the land, the food, the water, the natural abundance we are blessed with. We are just custodians. Unless we are prepared to adjust the huge imbalance that rabid consumerism brings & give freely to the developing world there may come a time when they say enough is enough & rise up and take their fair share.

I for one wouldn't blame them.

Remembrance (Sunday)

 I am conflicted about Remembrance in the way we accept it currently. It is "to commemorate the contribution of British and Commonwealth military and civilian servicemen and women in the two World Wars and later conflicts". (Commemorate - honour - keep alive).

1914-18 did not just butcher a generation on the fields of Flanders, those events became synonymous with mud and murder. On the plus side World War One was also central to the enfranchisement of women, the extension of democracy, the origins of the welfare state, the cleaning and rebuilding of decayed Victorian towns, the acceptance of pacifism as legitimate politics of protest, improved social mobility and increased social unrest, and to the ultimate end of Empire.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24610481

All wars involve far more people than just the armed forces fighting battles for causes they believed were just & right. Support for the armed forces, which is high, doesn't preclude our doubts about the wars in which they are engaged, for which we blame not them but politicians & generals. Everyone is involved in one way or another. Everyone risks death, some just risk it more than others. Many people play heroic roles & are prepared to sacrifice everything. 

Jeremy Corbyn denounced "spending shedloads of money to mark the 100th anniversary celebrations of the First World War.  (Celebrate - rejoice, have special festivities). How can you celebrate the "mass slaughter of millions of young men on the Western Front and all other places"?

I think the time has come to re-evaluate what we do and how we do it. We need a real discussion about whether the current status quo should continue indefinitely or whether we should find a better way forward rather than an arguably fairly pointless, ceremonial, harking back.

We do need to remember & learn from our history. We just don't seem to be very good at the latter. We repeat the mistakes over and over. Just look at the conflicts in the world today. Now we have euphemisms for the slaughter - (Collateral damage - unintentional deaths, injuries, or other damage inflicted incidentally). The danger is that it de-humanises the cost & we accept it. TV news is a video game as is drone warfare. 

Tax Credits & a Living Wage.

Tax credits help low-paid families. There are two types: Working Tax Credit (WTC) for those in work, and Child Tax Credit (CTC) for those with children. The Conservatives want to cut the income threshold for WTCs from £6,420 to £3,850 a year from April 2016. The income threshold for those only claiming CTCs will be cut from £16,105 to £12,125. The rate at which those payments are cut is also going to get faster. Currently, for every £1 claimants earn above the threshold, they lose 41p. This is known as the taper rate. But from April, the taper rate will accelerate to 48p.

There will be similar reductions for those who claim work allowances under the new Universal Credit.

Opponents of this say millions of existing recipients, many of whom work but are on low incomes, will be £1,300 a year worse off. Ministers say that taking into account other changes, such as the introduction of the new national living wage, further increases in the personal tax allowance and an extension of free childcare, the majority of existing claimants will be better off.



I agree that tax payers shouldn't be paying for employers who don't pay a living wage to their workers. What I don't get is how the Conservatives think that they can introduce the cuts well before any ameliorating benefits come into force. The new National Living wage doesn't come in till April 2016, but only for workers over 25. There will be a gap during which many people who are already struggling, will find it much harder to make ends meet, putting an extra 200,000 poorer families into working poverty. The Institute for Fiscal Studies estimates that the number of children living in poverty has increased in the last three years from 2.3 million to 2.5 million. It estimates that the measure outlined above would increase that to 2.8 million. The poorest tenth of society will lose around £800 a year as a result of tax and benefit changes in the years up to 2019 - equivalent to almost 7 per cent of their net income

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-3155062/Summer-Budget-2015-income-tax-changes-glance-better-worse-month.html#ixzz3psZm5EdE

No wonder the Lords asked the Govenrment to think again. Someone had to.

Responsibility & Expectation

"There is only one way to salvation, and that is to make yourself responsible for all men's sins. As soon as you make yourself responsible, in all sincerity, for everything and for everyone, you will see at once that this is really so, and that you are in fact to blame for everyone and for all things.”

 Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

What an oddly negative point of view. I can only be responsible for myself - for my own actions or non actions. I can be responsible for the effect my behaviour has on other people or things.  I can cause great pain & hurt to others by thoughtlessness or ignorance. I can change the course of events by what I do or don't do. Multiply that by the population of the world & you immediately see that we are in a constant state of flux and change, and really not masters of our own destiny.

I can attempt to behave responsibly and recognise that what I do or don't do is important. Probably not earth shattering, but each person's behaviour does make a difference. I can try to think of the impact I can have and think before I act. Most importantly I can recognise that I am human, not perfect. I will make mistakes. The trick is to know a mistake when I see it & do something about it before it's too late.

I can expect other people to behave as well as possible. I can expect them to treat me with respect & care. But I have learned in 70 years, that expectations can be both a good thing and a complete waste of time. Other people will behave as they see fit. Sometimes completely selfishly & unkindly. So I try not to expect now.

I don't think I believe in salvation, although there is always the possibility of redemption. I do believe I am a grain of sand blowing in the wind. But grains of sand can cause great discomfort in a shoe.

All I can hope to achieve is to do no real harm.    

Royal Mail - Track & Trace

This should mean exactly what it says to my mind. Not to Royal Mail seemingly.

They seem to have lost my Sat Nav. It was logged in to their system on the 9th October & I still haven't received it 9 working days later.

I have sent emails asking where it is. This is the response - "Royal Mail Signed For mail travels with ordinary mail and is only tracked once delivery has been attempted so I regret that I am unable to confirm the whereabouts of your item at this time".So what is the point of me having a "tracking number"? Apparently my parcel "has not yet been confirmed as being delivered". I had worked that out for myself.

My point is that anyone paying for this level of service would expect what the private companies do deliver, (excuse the pun. I am not really amused at all). You are given a tracking number & they can tell you exactly where the item is in their system. It's not rocket science - in any sense of the phrase.

I have to wait for 10 working days after the due delivery date, which is 3 days after posting. Then "if your item still hasn't been delivered ....you may wish to consider submitting a claim for the loss of the item". But what proof can I provide, I didn't post it. It's not a new Sat Nav, it had been repaired, so was as good as new. Will they pay for a replacement? Apparently not. I haven't got a clue what it's actually worth, except that it's worth a new one to me & that's what I'll have to pay for. Plus paying for the repair & postage.

The whole thing is very frustrating & a huge waste of my time & effort. How do they manage to lose items within their system? I've tried to find how many items are lost per year, but been unable to do so. No wonder the private companies are doing so well at Royal Mail's expense.

PS
My postie tried to deliver it yesterday, 14 days after posting, but I was out. According to the Track & Trace info it had been to Heathrow & then Swindon. I wonder why. The sender said Royal mail know there is a problem at Ipswich & he had had more parcels lost and delayed recently than in years.

PPS
It's just arrived. Royal mail have offered me a book of 6 first class stamps as compensation for taking 2 weeks to get a parcel from Suffolk to Oxfordshire.

Giving Gifts

The shops have been full of Christmas for weeks. Christmas in the sense of "stuff" - cards, decorations, presents. The money spent literally keeps some companies going for the rest of the year.

http://moneystepper.com/other-finance/christmas-retail-sales-2013/

My heart sinks at the end of August when it all starts. I've blogged before about how I feel about Christmas, so I won't re-wind.

I remember my Christmases as a child in a one income, working class family. I thought getting a book of my own was wonderful. It bore no resemblance whatsoever to Christmas today. But then the same is true of weddings, funerals, birthdays......celebrations in general.

By the time I had a family of my own - professional, two income, middle class, things had changed. But I often made my own gifts & decorations. I certainly made all of the food from scratch, although I was working full time. It was quite an effort. There were limits on spending & volume. Christmas didn't really start until November / December. There really wasn't any excess.

Now there is "pester power". The lists are written weeks before the event. Children want what their friends have & know how to get it. Companies know how to reach their mini market with targeted advertising. The gifts are tecnological and very expensive. Nothing is valued. Wrapping is torn off in a frenzy & children rush on to the next gift. Opening presents takes days because there are so many.

Giving & receiving should be a pleasure. Chosing an appropriate gift for someone close to you isn't about money, it's about love, thought & time. It's not about volume, it's about being special.

We are "time poor". Christmas has become a treadmill. We just throw money at it. Thought has gone out of the window, otherwise we would refuse such excessive waste in the face of a world of poverty.

Making your mind up

Bucks Fizz 1981
"Don't let your indecision take you from behind
Trust your inner vision, don't let others change your mind"

This was a typical Eurovision song & it won. The lyrics are appalling, but I don't think the refrain is bad.

It seems to me that making your mind up involves a process, unless you feel god like & omnipotent. Indecision isn't good, but neither is a decision based on too little information. You can't go through life without making decisions. Surely a decision based on consultation & research is better, even if it involves a delay & changing your mind.

Why is changing your mind regarded as bad, especially in politics? Mrs Thatcher, with that characteristic stridency, said "the lady's not for turning" about doing a U turn in 1980. Personally I wouldn't want to emulate that over confidence in my own singular judgement. I'd rather listen to other, informed points of view before reaching a momentous decision.

I do think that we all have an inner voice which guides our actions & decisions & often that initial reaction will be the right one for us. I would like to think that I can be persuaded by more cogent argument though.

Information & circumstances change all the time. It is often difficult to know what facts or whose opinion to believe. Making your mind up has never been more complex in this age of instantaneous opinion & data.

So, if a politician changed his / her mind is that so bad? Doesn't it show that they are prepared to admit they were wrong initially. Isn't that braver than holding on to a mistake rather than losing face? Don't we all want honest politicians, if that isn't an oxymoron? Is it realistic to hold politicians to standards which we ourselves can't achieve? We are all human after all.

Giving Time - Grandparents Rule!

Time is our most precious commodity. We all lead busy lives & don't have enough of it, especially if we are working. Although I'm retired, because I'm single, I am the only one to keep the "show on the road", so I too am sometimes "time poor".

Because I had a family & a professional, demanding, job I know what life is like trying to keep all the balls in the air at the same time. Now, as an observer of the lives of others, it seems to me that things have not got better.

My concern is that we are losing something in this onslaught of complexity. We are losing real conversations, with family, friends, neighbours & colleagues. Talking to strangers can be viewed as odd. Lonliness is everywhere, at every level of society and in every demographic. Depression & psychological disorders are rife - Addiction, self harm, suicide, obesity, anorexia.....

The coping mechanisms of my parents generation - a network of good, reliable, family, friends & neighbours seems a thing of the past. Instead we have a plethora of self help psycho-babble books because the NHS doesn't have enough resources to deal with the numbers of people needing "talking therapies". Often relationships seem superficial. There seems to be in-built obsolescence. Living together isn't working - Ok, move on & try someone else. A friend is replacable. We have lost the art of working at relationships & accepting differences.

In the "developed" world we are becoming divorced from our humanity. We communicate via technology. We interract more with smart phones, computers & TV than eachother. We solve problems by giving money or gifts instead of our time. It's nice to get a bunch of flowers through Interflora if something bad has happened, but it's much more useful to be able to talk to someone about it. A friendly voice is more theraputic than any number of flowers. It's basic. It's the need to share & know someone understands & sympathises. Or the need to laugh with someone else. There is something hollow about laughing out loud on your own.

On the upside, I have noticed that now I've lived in a city for 2 years, locally people I don't know do smile at me as we pass. I do chat to people in queues & on the bus. I do have the time to listen to my grandchildren & daughter & be a part of their lives.

The elderly have a lot to give, but it isn't a one way street, they need to receive too.

NHS in Crisis

"Today" Radio 4 - 12.10.15

Sir Thomas Hughes-Hallet says “the NHS is close to bankruptcy” and therefore there “isn’t a chance” that the government’s plan for 24/7 care will happen. The government says it fundamentally disagrees. Hughes-Hallett wrote a long article for the Mail on Sunday about the NHS, (see link below), saying “morale is low and a culture of fear stalks its wards”. He has put his concerns in letters to the Government and to others in the Health Service.
Sir Thomas Hughes-Hallet is Chairman of the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital NHS Foundation Trust.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-3267950/RIP-free-NHS-care-Health-service-supremo-warns-Cameron-patient-charges-inevitable-won-t-inject-billions-sinking-hospitals.html

Sir Thomas thinks that we retirees could free up hospital beds by volunteering to help. I'm sure we could & many do. It's a sticking plaster though. What we really need is an honest discussion about what our taxes can & should realistically buy in the NHS.

Why are taxes paying for free meals in hospital for everyone? We all feed ourselves at home. Why do taxes pay for people who make lifestyle choices, playing sport, for example, & are then injured as a result? Why don't we insist that they take out insurance? If people are injured as a result of getting paralytically drunk, why can't we deduct a contribution to the cost of their healthcare at source from their wages like tax? Just because we can prolong life, should we? Isn't quality of life just as important as actually living? There is nothing wrong with "do not resuscitate" so long as the patient makes the decision. Why are health professionals the state has trained at great expense allowed to leave the NHS whenever they like with no penalty? If they want to leave to go to better paid private companies or abroad within say 5 years, why don't they have to repay the cost of that training before leaving?

We are just bobbing along a tired old road going every whichway, without any proper consultation, communication or thought. Huge amounts of money pours in without cost effective outcomes. Tired vested interests & hierarchies defend their territories. It really has to stop. It won't get better until rational thought & discussion takes place without politics getting a look in.

Gung Ho Guns - America's appalling record.

Would you want to fight alongside Americans? Would you want Americans defending your freedom or rescuing you? I wouldn't. Just check out their history of "friendly fire" and "collateral damage"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._friendly-fire_incidents_since_1945_with_British_victims

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/10/06/middleeast/us-collateral-damage-history/

The most recent, appalling incident of the bombing of the Medecin Sans Frontiere hospital in Afghanistan is just the latest in a long list.
https://theintercept.com/2015/10/05/the-radically-changing-story-of-the-u-s-airstrike-on-afghan-hospital-from-mistake-to-justification/

Add to all that their obsession with their so called "right to bear arms", which by the way is completely misplaced, and the escalating number of mass shootings & you have to wonder about the sanity of the most powerful nation in the Western world. http://www.gannett-cdn.com/GDContent/mass-killings/index.html#frequency

I can't even begin to understand the psychology. Is it ignorance? Is it denial? Is it fear? It certainly doesn't show manliness or bravery. All of the evidence shows that countries who do not allow their citizens to be armed to the teeth on the streets & in their homes are infinitely safer than America.

I really feel sorry for President Obama who has been trying to stop this since his election. He doesn't stand a chance in the face of the rich and powerful gun lobby, who have both Congress & the Senate in their pockets. The politicians are either craven cowards or just protecting their own self interest because they think they won't be re-elected if they support new gun law.

They might just be surprised. Ordinary people must surely be getting to the point that they can see the folly & want it to stop. How many have to die?

Joining the Labour Party

I have just joined the Labour party. I've always been politically engaged & always been a liberal socialist. I'm not really a "joiner" though & I although I enjoy a good political discussion, I'm not tolerant of rambling, off the point, meanderings. Give me a good chairman who lets people make valid points but shuts up the wafflers before they drive everyone to find the nearest exit.

I'm not sure why I have joined. I'm not a Corbynite. I'm not even sure that I wholeheartedly espouse all of Labour policy, whatever that is at the moment. I'd quite like to join the Lib Dems & the Greens too in fact. But that doesn't seem right somehow. But why not? Wouldn't a broad alliance of liberal, socially & ecologically aware, views work well? It might stand a chance of ousting the Conservatives.

The Branch meeting I went to for the first time last night quickly became full to overflowing much to the surprise of the established membership who were used to only a handful at meetings. It was the first such meeting since the leadership election. Many new people had not been to a political meeting before & hadn't joined the party yet. The enthusiasm for change was palpable.

It is really good to see political engagement across the age ranges. It does feel as if there is a "sea change" in the political environment. Many people spoke at the meeting & there was a real appetite to get to grips with the many issues facing our society today.

I really hope this opportunity isn't wasted. I hope the opposition parties all capitalise on the appetite for involvement across all demographics.  It could really change the face of politics & that would be no bad thing.

On Constantly Being Messed About

I'm glad I'm older. If I was my younger, more volatile self I would be in a semi permanent state of irritation, not to mention fury.

Since moving house 2 years ago I have had to have quite a bit of work done on my house. I have also had to buy quite a lot of "stuff" & get it delivered. This all involves a lot of contact with tradesmen & delivery companies. It has not gone smoothly.

Because I have a "pick & mix" bag of chronic conditions I have also had to visit GP's & hospitals on a very regular basis. This always supposedly involves having an "appointment" - I use the term losely!

My gripe is that all of these people seem to think that my time is of no value. It isn't because I'm old & retired, they don't necessarily know that. Uniformly, all the people I have interracted with seem to think that time or even day is infinitely flexible, a moveable feast. It's unprofessional & it's unacceptable. The only person I can think of who does keep to appointment times is my Osteopath.

Unavoidable things do happen, I accept that. Not with monotonous regularity though surely? (In the last week 3 appointments haven't been kept). It seems to be an endemic culture in the UK. It wouldn't be so bad if people kept their clients informed. In this day and age of advanced technology & communication, that shouldn't be difficult. But it doesn't happen. I always seem to have to ring, email or text to find out what is happening. Usually when I have been waiting in for the best part of a day.

It's more than frustrating. It's incompetent & arrogant. It's clearly saying that the client is of little importance. It's our lot to wait patiently for something to happen. The problem is that if you actually want the goods or the services you don't have much choice.

Refugees & Migrants - Reliable Information

UNHCR - http://popstats.unhcr.org/en/asylum_seekers_monthly

NPR - http://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2015/09/08/438539779/the-migrant-crisis-by-the-numbers

The Economist - http://www.economist.com/blogs/economist-explains/2015/09/economist-explains-4

"Lies, damned lies & statistics" - No one seems to really know who originally said this. I would add to the three "& the Tabloid press".  At the moment all our less generous instincts seem to be fuelled by inaccurate or totally dishonest zenophobia generated by the right wing of politics & the press.

The simplest solution, it seems to me, is to try to really imagine yourself & your family in the situation in Syria, Afghanistan or Eritrea for example. If you can do that & deny these people aid I think you have lost all sense of humanity.

People from these 3 countries arriving in boats by the Eastern Mediterranean route, (Turkey to Greece), or the Central Mediterranean route, (Africa to Italy),  are fleeing from war & persecution. There has been an 83% increase in refugees in the first half of 2015 & that is set to double in the second half. Deaths at sea are at record levels. Would you risk this if you had any other option?

The situation is complicated by Economic migrants from the Balkans using the Balkan route. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34173252
http://foreignpolicy.com/2015/08/28/europes-economic-migrant-problem-balkans-poverty-germany/

I don't know enough about that to comment, but I would say that if I were brave enough or desperate enough, in the face of poverty & discrimination, to do what they do in order to give my family a better chance in life I would do it.

Corbyn's shadow cabinet - A Vegan shadow agriculture minister ????

Link to Guardian article:-

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CCAQqQIwAWoVChMI_sb2t9n7xwIVR7UUCh2MoA6U&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fcommentisfree%2F2015%2Fsep%2F16%2Fvegan-shadow-agriculture-minister-jeremy-corbyn-kerry-mccarthy&usg=AFQjCNFIYY197ZYkv5dPlv1KR1qku7vQeA&sig2=GddUABzSOzEMSzIvbQ7KrQ

Couldn't have put it better myself. Why is the default position in politics to attack & pour scorn before intelligent consideration. No wonder we don't like knee jerk politicians scoring cheap points, which is what has happened after PMQ's yesterday.

Mr Corbyn is on the front bench surrounded by "suits" in dark colours. Thank God someone is prepared not to conform to the uniform. But he is pilloried for his lack of taste. Isn't what he says more important? Similarly, how refreshing that a senior politician is actually trying to involve the general public in debate. How dare the "focus group" driven Conservatives pour scorn on his initiative? Not to mention people in his own party.

This is all becoming more and more like a "witch hunt".

Wouldn't an intelligent response be to stop, think, & listen to an alternative. At least give people a chance to show what they can do & how they go about it.

While I'm commenting on the Shadow Cabinet can I just mention that 16 out of 30 posts have gone to women despite the rush to the hills of the backbenches on Corbyn's election.. Beat that Mr Cameron.

God Save the Queen.... and Mr Corbyn

I'm fairly neutral about the Queen. I can see pro's & con's for her existance. I'm not neutral about inherited power & wealth though.

Universally an accident of birth dictates the sort of life we get by an large. Some are born into poverty and some into wealth. If you start off wealthy, chances are probably that you will remain so. If you are born poor, chances are significantly less that you may, through hard work, talent, education or luck, get out of the poverty trap. You have to be a special sort of person though. Those who inherit wealth don't have to make a special effort, they have an unfair headstart.

So why all the fuss about Corbyn not singing the National Anthem, which is largely accepted to be one of the most boring of all anthems? I imagine there are many people who don't join in for a variety of reasons. Why should they if they don't agree with the Monarchy? I don't say the Lord's Prayer. It doesn't damn me to hell & hasn't offended anyone thus far.

Corbyn wasn't hypocritical & would have been rightly pilloried if he had been. He didn't make a big political point. He was just silent & still. That is surely the right of anyone in those circumstances.  Luckily for them they don't have a bised, right wing, negative press pointing cameras & microphones at their every action or non action. How can not joining in be held to be offensive? Are these people really such sensitive flowers?

If we don't have the freedom to participate or not according to our beliefs then we are not a free and democratic country. If we participate in something we don't believe in we are condoning it. That is a slippery slope. How delightful it is to have a politician who is true to himself & his beliefs. I may or may not agree with those beliefs, but so far I'm hoping he will be given a fair chance. I haven't seen many signs of that yet though.

Corbyn - Labour versus Socialist?

I'm fascinated by the Labour leadership election. I'm appalled by 9 of the Shadow cabinet throwing their toys out of the pram immediately, 5 of whom are women. How is Corbyn expected to stand a chance of making the party a viable alternative to our dire Conservative government if he loses all this experience & expertise in one fell swoop? It seems like a suicide pact to me & it could destroy Labour from within.

What is important? Having a party to effectively counter Conservative "values" and to fight for the rights of ordinary, as opposed to wealthy people, or their own precious self interest? If they don't agree with Corbyn surely they should be prepared to argue their case from within the shadow cabinet and achieve consensus. After all Corbyn can't expect them not to go against his party line - he's done it often enough. If Corbyn's proposed policies are really too left wing and a threat they won't be as effective from the back benches & the discord may very publicly tear the party apart.

It seems a shame if this election, which is almost unique in terms of the statistics - 59.5% for Corbyn & 50.7% for Watson, doesn't result in a new beginning & a radical shake up for Labour. I'm very disappointed that there is no woman as yet at the top of the party. I'm appalled that Cooper (Home Sec), Kendall (Care Minister), Reynolds (Housing),  Reeves (Work & Pensions) & Mahmood (Treasury) won't continue to work in key roles.

The election defeat is a good reason to really look at why the party wasn't electable. This leadership election is completely different. People have been really engaged. It's useful to have a top to bottom shake up so long as different perspectives are really listened to & consensus emerges.

Maybe one of the things the party should consider is recognising that the very name "Labour" is outdated and not relevant in the 21st century. Labour was forged in a time when the masses worked very hard for a living in manual tasks. The Unions were wonderful organisations which helped to give working people rights & better working conditions. It's a proud history, which broke the stranglehold of the wealthy landowners & businessmen.

2015 is a world away from that. The electorate is completely different. It's time the labour party really looked at itself & became relevant & central to the lives of people today. Maybe Corbyn is going to be a catalyst for that. He deserves a chance to do it. He seems to have a groundswell behind him.

Ageing & Independent Living

I went to an Occupational Therapist for an Assessment of Need this week. I've arranged them before for my father and my mother in law, but didn't envisage having one myself.

I want to be able to live safely in my home & have got to the point where some things are difficult. I'm sure my legs have grown further away from my hands, so that putting tights, socks & shoes on involves contortions & possible speedy bodily contact with the floor. I haven't had a bath for years because I can't get in & out of one.  I have a corner shower at the moment, but it's too small for me to be able to manouvre easily in. Getting in & out of bed, even turning over in bed, is difficult. Going up and down stairs is a challenge,especially if I want to carry anything. etc etc etc. All very boring & limiting.

The assessment was at Brooks University where they train all sorts of health professionals including OT's. It was very sympathetically & professionally done, by a charming man who really knew his stuff. I will now be getting several practical aids to enable me to function better in my home. I will also get a list of approved contractors who can look at things like installing a shower downstairs & a wet room in my ensuite.

The important thing is that it gives me confidence that I can live independently for at least a few more years. I am fortunate that I can pay for this service. But had I not been able too I could have got these things free or reduced. Probably not any more from today though. It seems very likely that the budget for this will be cut again iminently. There is a meeting today about it, so my timing was very lucky.

It makes no sense at all. The cost of treating people who have accidents in the home is far more than giving them things which make them safer. Hospitalisation is expensive & not good for patients. This type of intervention is simple, cheap & cost effective. What sort of idiot politician thinks that it is a sensible decision to cut health & social services to the bone? We need to cut the deficit, but not like this. This will cost money in the long term & people will suffer as a result.

Chronic Pain - Drugs of Choice.

I was in my 20's in the 60's. Therefore it seems ironic that now, in my 70's I'm taking Morphine. I seem to have missed out on the whole drug culture & have to take a heroin derivative for pain.

The NHS does not deal well with pain. I gather that trainee doctors don't get much training about pain & pain relief, which seems odd given how many health conditions involve pain. Getting a referral to a specialist pain clinic isn't easy. Some research shows that 21% of people experience pain every day. That's nearly 1 in 4. Personally I have forgotten how an absence of pain feels.

Currently I'm changing over from months of taking the maximum dose of Co Codamol, which contains Morphine & is addictive, to Morphine itself. That means that my body is simultaneously coping with withdrawl & a new drug. I am so wiped out by the afternoon that I have to lie down & I doze. So I'm losing daytime & as a result finding it difficult to sleep at night.

All drugs are toxins and all have an effect on the body. I came to the conclusion long ago that patients nowadays have to be very pro-active in their own healthcare. I don't think we should just accept what we are told or prescribed. Doctors are human beings & can't know everything. They can make mistakes. We have access to a huge body of information & other people who are in similar situations as ourselves. We need to take responsibility for decisions made about our healthcare.

The trouble is if you are feeling ill, in pain, fatigued & incapacitated you are not in a good place to be able to do that. It's a Catch 22. What I need is a friendly Cannabis supplier or a research trial into Cannabis & chronic pain because the Morphine isn't working. You would think that the pharma companies would be able to come up with something to make any pain bearable.

Silversea Cruise 6 - Selfies.

Istanbul put me off cameras for ever. It was hot, between 30 - 40 degrees. It was also heaving with people. Everyone seemed to have a camera and a selfie stick. Probably because the knock offs were so cheap. Result - you couldn't walk along the street or be inside a building without being in the way of someone taking a photo. It got to be hugely annoying. If you stopped politely for everyone you wouldn't see anything yourself & movement slowed to a crawl.

The problem I had with it is that no one was really looking. Everyone was so intent on having a photo with themselves as the star instead of the stunning building or view, that they were unable to experience the wonder that is this great city.

When did it all get so manic? When did everyone suddenly decide that their image fronting some iconic view was the most important thing? When did we all get so self absorbed? I suspect it is the conjunction of the selfie stick & Social Media. (Selfie sticks are very aptly named & a health hazard in my view!) We live in a self obsessed world where we all want our moment of fame & think that the rest of the population really wants to see what we are doing and where we are at this moment. I'm surprised no one posts photos of themselves on the loo. Or perhaps they do.

It's all so repetetive & totally mindless. Travellers who only see the world as a backdrop to their own existance. They don't really know much about where they are, the history, the culture, the geography. All they see is a photo opportunity and an opportunity to brag - "here I am".

Yes, I know I'm a grumpy old woman. "Frankly my dears I don't give a damn". I'd rather have memories any day & not be constrained by the narrow view of a camera lens. I didn't take a single photo. How often do we all even look at the photos once we have bored friends and family rigid with them? We just put them in a drawer or save them in the Cloud & move on to the next holiday, left with the problem of what to do with all those images & having forgotten what & where they are.

Losing my Marbles

I'm now officially an old lady! I've had a phone alarm system installed & wear an alarm watch all the time in the house. Actually that's rubbish, anyone of any age is at risk if they live alone. I just happen to have accepted that for me the risk factors are higher. Heart attack, stroke, a fall, a dizzy spell, a bad virus....A good friend who is younger than me had a stroke last week & is now in hospital. It's a question of probabilities.

I don't much fancy lying on the floor somewhere, in pain & unable to get to a phone. It doesn't seem an attractive scenario. The reality for lots of people who don't work & live alone is that they may go for days without a visit or a phone call. You can't plan for an accident & you can't count on someone realising you aren't around any more.

It's not something to dwell on, but it is something to prepare for if you have any sense. No one is immortal.

What I quite fancy is a massive heart attack which takes me out faster than the speed of light. I'm not big on pain and suffering, especially not on my own & over a long period of time. I'm not brave. But unfortunately you can't decide your own exit unless euthanasia becomes lawful.

Fortunately, at the moment , I've got enough marbles to decide how to be safe. That will be the next thing of course. When the holes take over from the cheese in the Gruyere.

Silversea Cruise 5 - Cultural Difference

The West is "divided by a common language". Not just us and the Americans. English is the "lingua franca" for many nations. Not only pronunciation varies, so does meaning & understanding.

There were various nations cruising on the Silver Spirit & it was interesting to watch the interaction, or lack of it, between different nationalities. We all, it seems, are most comfortable with our own "kind". So by the end of the cruise, although there were interchanges between nations, mostly the friendship groups which developed seemed to be national.

It is interesting too that behaviour has a cultural dimension. What is tolerated or even normal by some nationalities is considered highly rude by others. I realise that this can lead to sweeping generalisations. The Italians are terrible drivers, the Mediterranean countries let their women do all the work, the Spanish are loud, the French are arrogant & aloof, the Americans are brash & like poor wine don't travel.....Brits, I'm pleased to say, are "damned with the faint praise" of being too polite.

There is some truth in all of this. Misunderstanding can arise because something said or done / not said or not done can cause offence. You don't expect to make deep and meaningful relationships on holiday. By definition most conversations are superficial. The danger is that the opposite can easily happen & friendship can be irrevocably be ruined by such close proximity.

I'm not sure how well it is possible to really know someone. We all keep a part of ourselves back. You have to tolerate things you don't want to & you certainly can't tell the truth all the time without hurting people. Human beings are infinitely diverse. You just have to decide what is important to you & what you are prepared to put up with from others.

Now I'm officially an old lady I think I've mellowed. Or maybe I just don't think the confrontation is worth it. I tolerate things I would not have done a decade ago. Anyone who mistakenly thinks I'm a pussy cat & will roll over when it really matters is hugely mistaken though. There are "lines in the sand" both on holiday and at home.

Silversea cruise 4 - Leaving & Sailing.

There is something about leaving a port and sailing out into the ocean. There is a quality of light reflecting off the sea & a vast expanse of water and sky which is unendingly fascinating. The light changes from moment to moment in a different way to on land. You are moving from terra firma and sailing on the surface of  bottomless, unknown, depths. It is really is the most mystical experience. Vast horizons, infinite, subtle, colours of light. Moving, but oddly staying still.

Sailing on a ship is unique. A self contained, man made, island floating above the hidden life below. A triumph of mans skill and technology at the mercy of the elements. The weather & the light changes in moments.

Modern cruise ships are minature, (& not so minature), cities. All human life is there. An infinite number of life stories from the extremely privileged to the much less advantaged. A microcosm of the world contained within a boat. The difference is that the people are always moving onwards. A restless journey to the next port, the next experience for the passengers. A mobile working environment for all the people who cater to their every whim.

It is obviously, by nature, a transient existance. As you float on the surface of the ocean you also float on the surface of life. New aquaintances are made & lives are shared peripherally. Visits to ports are brief. Fleeting glimpses into other lives. Passengers are disgorged onto docksides & have a window of opportunity to experience other cultures. They aren't necessarily good representations of the real lives or cultures because a whole unrepresentative, symbiotic infrastructure has built up around the ports.

They are gateways though and maybe passengers will go back and experience a more realistic & in depth perspective at some time. As for the relationships they really are "ships that pass in the night".

Silversea Cruise 3 - Human Nature - Givers & Takers

People watching is such a delight. An endless source of interest and amusement, frustration and irritation. I have written before about "Drains & Radiators". This cruise gave me the opportunity to observe the species of "Givers & Takers"at close quarters.

I think both descriptions of human behaviour are self explanatory. I must acknowledge at the outset that I know I am making sweeping generalisations.

The thing that shocked me was the arrogance, rudeness & self absorbtion of some of my fellow passengers. The sense of entitlement that wealth seems to endow some people with is quite surpising. "Please", "thank you" & "excuse me" seemed to have been expunged from the vocabulary of some. Quite a few people I had conversations with just wanted to tell me about themselves. I wasn't required to say very much - just listen attentively. Many conversations I overheard were basically bragging about making money, posessions, achieving your own ends, who you knew. etc etc. Brits tend to be polite. They certainly queue & don't tend to be pushy. So maybe that's why I was so surprised. We had a lot of  Australian,  American & Italian passengers. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Or maybe it's just me.

The other thing that made me take a sharp intake of breath was judgemental attitudes & ignorance about other cultures & countries.  Very few seemed to know much about the history, culture or geography of the places we visited. Because of the current political situation in Greece, maybe a little more was known about that, but coloured by a European press perspective. Very little seemed to be known about politics in Turkey. I suppose the thing is it was a holiday. So people didn't feel the need to be informed.

Fortunately all of that was completely offset by the care and consideration of the paid employees & of course not all the passengers were like that. I did meet some really interesting people whose company I enjoyed.

As my dad would say "There's nowt as queer as folk". He was from Derbyshire & would have been completely nonplussed by all of this.

Silversea Cruise - 2 - Consumption & Waste.

I don't go along with the theory that it's OK to have anything you want and can afford when you want it, because consumption fuels economies & makes jobs. Consumption & waste economics simply doesn't make sense to me. Greed & waste isn't a nice look & doesn't seem justified.

The thing about a cruise is that over consumption and waste is almost irrevocably built in. The buffet restaurants, as opposed to the speciality restaurants with menus, have to provide a bigger variety and quantity than is necessary to offer enough choice for very demanding passengers - some of whom seem to have surprisingly big appetites. H&S means that once food is put out but not used it will necessarily be wasted. Unless it goes to the crew, which I don't think happens. They have different menus I think.

Having said that, there are stringent protocols for waste disposal. The cruise ships can't just chuck it all over the side. It has to be macerated & only dumped in certain areas. But it is still a huge waste of very high quality food.

Similarly with drink. If your USP is providing anything the customer wants, free, at any time as part of the cruise price, then they take advantage & drink more & ask for the exotic. I've never had so much champagne or so many cocktails in my whole life as on a 9 day cruise. The wastage was surprising to say the least.

Then there is the question of towels & linen. I've stayed in 5 star hotels & been used to the policy that if you want your towels etc washing you dump them in the bath. If you are prepared to use them for a couple of days you hang them up. (I have to acknowledge that lots of posh hotels have a card saying that, but wash the towels anyway). On this cruise not only did they get washed daily, but were changed more than once a day, which does seem excessive & wasteful given the demand on water consumption - On a boat in the middle of the ocean.

Ditto, sheets were changed daily. I don't know about your personal habits, but I think I'm clean enough to use my sheets for a week.

Given that all of the crew we saw doing the service jobs were from places like India & the Philippenes, which are not wealthy countries, I imagine the imbalance must have been a bit of a culture shock initially. All the more amazing how delightful they all were, seeming to really enjoy their jobs and have no resentment towards us, the lucky, wealthy ones.