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Saturday 31 May 2014

Oxymoron - "Honor Killing"

Honour - Personal integrity. Allegiance to moral principles. Great respect, regard, esteem.

What on earth has this got to do with the brutal murder of women by relatives? The specious reasoning being that the woman has brought dishonour to the family, usually because of some form of sexual behaviour.

Farzana Parveen who was three months pregnant, was pelted with bricks & bludgeoned to death by relatives for marrying a man of her own choice against their wishes. Ms Parveen's husband Muhammad Iqbal admitted killing his first wife six years ago in order to marry Ms Parveen. Police officers apparently stood by as the attack took place outside Lahore courthouse.  None of the public intervened.

I don't see how ignorance or lack of education can justify this. Every religion teaches about the sanctity of human life. These cases say more about the ineffectualness & corruption of the justice system than anything else.





Monday 26 May 2014

Clive James Poetry

 I always loved to listen to Clive James. His dry wit & delivery always made me laugh. To have that gift of facility with words & ability to observe the lunacy of life & see the funny side is rare. I didn't know that he was a poet, or that he was terminally ill. He has Emphysema & Leukemia.

http://www.clivejames.com/poetry/sentenced

His poetry speaks to me because we are of the same generation.  We are both in the end game of life, although he is hopefully a lot closer than me, barring accidents. It is brave to write so corruscatingly about oneself when the days are numbered. It is brave to look at the failings of ones life & actions & lay them bare for the world to see. The world will see them because he is so famous & so many people follow his every word.

I think it is wonderful that famous people like James & Terry Pratchett, also of my generation, can chart their demise. Pratchett has Alzheimers. This era of instant & worldwide communication means that the voice of the elderly can be heard in a way that it never has been before. Even nonentities like me can blog about their path to oblivion.

The voice of experience is important, even if most of us are invisible. We do have something to say which is relevant. We have seen the repeating cycles of mistakes in world politics & the microcosmic world of family & friends.

We do know. We can share that knowledge. But only if someone listens.

Sunday 25 May 2014

Common Law & the Common Wo/Man

I've been mulling over the court judgement & do find it perplexing & rather contradictory. But then I'm not a lawyer, used to very precise language.

As I understand it, the fact that I had a clear agreement with Mr C, with a paper trail between our lawyers, whereby he agreed to have professional maintenance done, with specific reference to the leaking boiler, was totally irrelevant at the moment of completion. At that moment any previous agreement became null and void.

I  was by no means sure I would win the case, but never contemplated that if Mr C didn't do the work before completion he could simply walk away from the agreement. So, although I was well prepared, that was a complete surprise. I made the mistake of trusting his word.

I think most people in my situation would assume a written agreement would stand, never mind one's word being ones bond. The idea that I would, or could, check on the day of completion, seems unrealistic to me. I couldn't have the keys till completion was effected. Was I really going to get the agents out & keep the removal men waiting, while I went through the house, checking that the boiler & all the other maintenance issues had been fixed? The day was far too pressurised & rushed to do that, even if I had thought of it. The idea that I would be able to get my Surveyor out again, before completion, to check everything had been done seems ludicrous. Was I really going to refuse to complete with all my worldly posessions in the street in a van & no home to go to?

There were only 3 days between the 10 tenants leaving & me moving in. I assumed Mr C would use the time to compile a proper snagging list & complete the work as agreed. If it wasn't done before completion I assumed I would just have to put up with it being done while I was living there. A young friend bought a brand new house around the same time as me. There have been numerous issues which have had to be fixed for months after completion. They have been done. What is the difference I wonder?

I'm left feeling that unless you can guarantee that your solicitor will ask the right questions & advise you accurately & in detail you are at the mercy of a closed shop, very complicated system. If you don't know the questions to ask you can fall into the sort of trap that I did. Common sense & fair play simply don't enter into the equation. I'm lucky, I could afford to take this to court. I didn't have legal advice because I thought the "Small Claims" court was meant to give simple & cheap access to justice to everyone without recourse to the huge cost of lawyers.

I know better now. So, dear reader, learn from my mistake.

Friday 23 May 2014

Law & Justice & the County Court - (Small Claims)

Well, it was an interesting, if quite gruelling experience.

In the lobby before the hearing Mr C, his plumber, (who I had summonsed to appear because he refused to give a statement of fact), & someone I assume was Mr C's lawyer moved seats to sit opposite me, which was a touch intimidating. It did show how partisan the plumber was though.

When the case was called, only Mr C & I were allowed in. The District Judge sat behind a very large table & seemed very formidable. Mr C & I sat side by side in front of him. There were no pleasantaries.

The Judge questioned me in depth & I was glad I had prepared a comprehensive paper trail & read through everything beforhand. He then questioned Mr C in the same way. It was not possible to get a feel for how he viewed the case or the evidence. His manner was quite brusque. It was nothing like my 12 years as a Lay Magistrate in Berkshire, where we were at pains to put people at their ease & ensure that those who were unrepresented & didn't know the court process were assisted.

When he was satisfied he had heard enough to come to a decision he outlined the bones of the case. Then he gave his judgement which was that he could not find in my favour. He was very fair though & explained why he couldn't. It all hinged on something called a "Collateral Agreement" & the wording of the "Contract of Sale". The agreement I had with Mr C, via his solicitor, that he would undertake professional maintenance, (with specific reference to the leaking boiler), & cleaning as a condition of the sale wasn't written into the actual contract. (I had asked my solicitor if it should be & he said no.)

The fact that the heating had supposedly been repaired & was working, but wasn't working on the day of completion apparently didn't matter, (contrary to what I had been told). If I understood the Judge correctly the minute completion ocurred any such agreeement ended. What I should have done was check that the heating was working again & refused to complete until the problem was solved. A) It never occurred to me to doubt Mr C's word & B) It would have been difficult to check anyway as the tenants were in till very close to the completion day. Also, moving house on your own is stressful & frantic enough that you don't look for extra work to do.

In my limited experience of trying to use the Law I'm left with the impression that there is a lot of Law, but not an equivalent amount of Justice. I wouldn't have gone this far if I hadn't been confident that I had a reasonable & just case against Mr C. That proved to be wrong. Even if there is a "paper trail" clearly showing there has been a agreement for one party to do something - Even if that party says he has put something right but it proves not to be the case - you don't necessarily win. You might have the clear moral high ground, but a legal technicality can operate against that.

However, I knew that I might not win & I was prepared for it. I have paid for a new boiler & for the costs of the case. But the Judge was sympathetic to my case & was very nice to me after his judgement. His hands were tied by the technicalities of the Law. For my part I feel that Mr C  was forced to confront both me and the effect of his less than honorable behaviour. There was an element of Restorative Justice in that.

For me it was a matter of principle. I wouldn't have been able to behave like that & didn't anticipate that Mr C would. I do believe in Karma though.

Tuesday 20 May 2014

County Court - The Wheels of Justice Grind Slowly.

I have a County Court case against the vendor of my house, Mr C, on Friday. The process started in early October last year & will finally come to fruition in an hour and a half hearing in front of a Judge.

I have done all the work myself without legal representation. It's been very time consuming, but reasonably straight forward. The costs involved are in the hundreds of pounds, so not prohibitive. All the supporting documentation, has been delivered to the Court & to Mr C. Now I just have to wait & see what happens on the day.

Obviously to my mind I have a reasonable case. I bought the house on the understanding that Mr C would get the maintenance done professionally after his tenants moved out & get the house professionally cleaned. Two major areas of concern were highlighted, a leaking boiler & a leaking roof. Both issues were supposedly put right, prior to completion. However once I moved in it was obvious that neither problem had been solved.

I don't know what the outcome will be. I have no idea what defence Mr C can put up to counter my claim. I don't know if I will be facing him or his lawyers. It is a concern. I'm sure my pacemaker will be working overtime on Friday morning.

But it's a matter of principle. An agreement is an agreement & should be honoured, especially when there is a paper trail. Sorting out all the problems I discovered with this 7 year old house has been very stressful, time consuming & costly. I simply never imagined that a house of this age had been so badly maintained.

I took Mr C at his word. On Friday I will find out if that means anything. At least he will have had to read all the disclosure documents & face me personally & listen to my case. There will be some justice in that - if he turns up of course. Whether I'll get any money back is, of course, another matter.

Friday 16 May 2014

Haram - Forbidden, but not to Boko Haram.

Haram means sinful & refers to any act forbidden by Allah.
The two types of haram are:
1. Things prohibited because of their essence and harm caused to an individual - Adultery, murder, theft.

2. Things prohibited because of external reasons that are not fundamentally harmful but are associated to something that is prohibited:-
  • Ill-gotten wealth obtained through sin. Examples include money earned through cheating, stealing, corruption, murder and Interest or any means that involves harm to another human being. Also, a deal or sale during Friday's prayers.
  • It is prohibited in Islam for a Muslim to profit from such haram actions. Any believer who benefits from or lives off wealth obtained through haram is a sinner.
  • Prayer in a house taken illegally.
The religious term haram is applied to:
  • Actions, such as premarital sex, murder, or getting a tattoo.
  • Policies, such as riba.
  • Objects, such as al-Masjid al-Haram and al-Masjid al-Nabawi in context as two haram (sacred) mosques.
  • Food and drinks, such as pork and alcohol.
  • Some ḥalāl objects, foods or actions that are normally halal but under some conditions become haram. For example halal food and drinks at noon-time during Ramadan, or a cow or another halal animal that is not slaughtered in the Islamic way and in the name of Allah 
Having discovered all this I am even more at a loss to understand the actions of Islamic fundamentalists, such as Boko Haram. How do they reconcile & justify their actions in the light of Islamic teaching & Sharia Law? Well, obviously they can't. They are so indoctrinated & far from the teachings of Allah that they simply cannot be called good Muslims.

The abduction of  276 schoolgirls in Chibok in Northern Nigeria is indeed such a "haram" act. It is indefensible under any religious or non religious law. They are children who have  been stolen from their families & friends. We cannot know what terrors they have experienced, but it is certainly harmful to each one of the children & the families involved. The terrorists want other terrorists to be released, so they aim to profit from a haram act which is also prohibited.

Finding these girls will undoubtedly be difficult given the terrain. If & when they are found the harm will be done. They will be traumatised. If there is a God I'm sure he will "reward" the terrorists in ways they cannot envisage & do not expect.

Sunday 11 May 2014

Is a house a home or vice versa?

When I was a child I lived in two semi detached houses in Birmingham. One was 37 Higgins Lane in Quinton, the other 187 Wolverhampton Road, still in Quinton. Obviously both were my family home, but I can't say that I had a warm, fuzzy feeling about either of them. In fact I was very keen to leave the second & go to College & when I graduated I got married as soon as I could so I wouldn't have to live there again.

During my marriage I lived in everything from a council rented terrace in Bracknell to our first owned semi in North Ascot, then a detatched in the same area, then a big extended detached cottage in a village outside Newbury. Finally we moved to a lovely detached house outside Stroud in Gloucestershire. These were homes. They were places I loved to be, where I felt safe from the world, where the people who were most important to me lived too.

So what makes a house a home? I think most importantly the relationships of the people who live there. The love & understanding & acceptance of the fallibility of the members of the family. Then there are the shared memories of what has happened in the home - good & bad. There is also the feeling of security in your own space. Finally there are the things we surround ourselves with that we enjoy, or which mean something to us.

The house I bought last year is my home & the things in it are mine, but I don't yet feel that it is a home. Maybe that's because I'm single now. I have done a lot to it to personalise it & it's the place where I spend most of my time. Maybe we humans need to share our nest with other people. On the other hand I value my peace & the fact that I don't have to compromise on anything now.

We British are unusual relative to Northern Europe in that home ownership is important to us. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_home_ownership_rate Europe. We close doors & put up fences & hedges to keep people out & mark our territory. Our homes are inviolable. Go to Mediterranean countries & a lot of life is lived communally on the streets.

Here there is a tendency to view our home as an investment in the future, fuelled by the remorseless increase in house values. Buying a house is a step up on the ladder of affluence. Owning your home & what sort of home it is says something about you in our eyes. Just look at all the aspirational TV programmes & house magazines. Style matters, we change our decor according to current fashion, not necessarily relative to comfort. Everything becomes obsolete in the blink of an eye, so we constantly re-furbish. It's truly a "throw away" society.

What does that say about our self image & individuality?


Wednesday 7 May 2014

Streets of London & Oxford

It's very odd how life experiences converge. I've just posted 2 U Tube clips.

1) I met Derek Harris yesterday on Hampstead Heath overlooking a wonderful view of London, when I was taking an Ashmolean Friends trip to Kenwood. We chatted for quite a while because I liked his songs. His mum, who he had cared for, died 4 years ago & he can't get over her loss. He seemed very sad & depressed, but had taught himself to play the guitar & writes his own songs. I hope he will be able to see a more positive side to his life sometime soon.

I was feeling a bit down because, having done my bit with the group, I was wandering round the house & grounds on my own & realised how much I missed doing that with my husband. It suddenly hit me that it was the first time I had done something like this since 2009. It is quite hard not to be able to share experiences with someone else who is on the same wavelength.

2) All of this reminded me of the Ralph Mc Tell song which has always been a huge favourite of mine since it was recorded in 1969. I realise I've loved it for 45 years. It doesn't seem possible.

Which leads me to the next serendipitous event. Coming back from Oxford this morning I met one of the Big Issue sellers who are always on the corner of my road. He needs a stick because he has a lot of problems with leg ulcers which are painful. He told me his friend Paul had recently been knocked down by a bike when they were going into Oxford to collect their copies of the magazine from the Big Issue office. We do chat a bit, because I pass them most days on my way to swim. They are  really friendly & easy to chat to. I don't always buy the magazine because I don't tend to take any cash with me. When I saw Paul later he was on crutches. You have to admire them both. They are out there every day, all day, till they have sold their quota, in all weathers. I have never heard them be anything other than polite to passers by, most of whom don't really take any notice of them. Paul in particular always seems cheerful. I think they are a bit of an institution in Summertown, so some people do say hello & chat.

It's so easy to make superficial judgements about people based on what we can see. Everyone has their story. A lot of people have to deal with "stuff" which is quite hard.

Derek Harris on Hampstead Heath

Ralph McTell - Streets Of London (Live)

Monday 5 May 2014

Birthdays

I am intriged. When I look at the birthdays of my friends & family there seems to be a statistical anomaly:-
  • Jan 5th - CW & RA
  • Jan 21st - Daughter & CW(2)
  • Feb 21st - VD / Feb 22nd - EP
  • April 1st - CW(3) & RF / April 3rd - DT
  • April 16th AD & DM
  • May 6th - DC / May 8th SB / May 12th - SB
  • June 18th CC & CT
  • Nov 1st - JF / Nov 3rd - EC
  • Dec 20th - PS / Dec 24th JP
There are others in the same months in the clusters but  further apart. Spooky or what? Am I unconciously selecting astrological types? Or is it just coincidence? If so what is the probability? Maybe someone out there can suggest a solution.

Saturday 3 May 2014

Accidents & Emergencies

A week ago I had a fall while away for a weekend celebrating a good friends birthday. I was quite shocked & it was painful, but I was enjoying myself - Wine numbs pain. To cut a long story short, a finger went quite black & was very swollen. It didn't occur to me to take my rings off, so by the time I realised it was quite bad it was too late & the rings constricted the blood flow. Not wanting to spoil the weekend for myself or anyone else I didn't go to hospital, being reasonably confident that it could wait. I was fortunate enough to be spending the weekend with a whole crowd of people including 4 doctors. There was a lot of sympathy & black humour about what would happen if the tip of the finger went black too. Gangrene was mentioned!

I drove home from the Peak District - no problem.

I had been advised to go to A&E to get the rings cut off, so I set off as soon as I got back in the early afternoon on Sunday. Lovely daughter took me there in case I couldn't drive back. Fortunately I told her not to wait. There was a sign saying the wait time was 2 hours, but in fact it took over 4. I was quite happy, I read my book. In that time I was triaged, saw a doctor, had the rings cut off - (not easy & quite painful), had an X ray - (the radiographer was great & showed me the pictures), saw the doc again, had the finger splinted & arm in a sling & was given an appointment for the HAPI clinic on Tuesday - (Hand & Plastic Injury).

That was a misnomer. There was no indication of the wait time. Seemingly OK people came in & were seen before some of us who had been waiting quite a while. (One can understand if emergencies come in & take priority). Eventually, desperate for a drink & something to to read, (War & Peace?) - bear in mind I thought I had an appointment, I asked if I had time to go to the shop. No problem. My asking the question sparked off unrest amongst the other patients who thought they had appointments too - Times were compared.

Eventually I was called & taken to a curtained bay where I was left again, only this time I couldn't see anyone else or what was going on. A doctor came & told me what the problem was, a torn ligament had pulled off a splinter of bone. 6 weeks to heal, raise hand above heart & keep exercising so the ligament doesn't heal too short. I can cope with that. She went away & a while later a nurse came & put on a new splint.

All in all well over 6 hours of my life. I think the NHS is probably at it's best dealing with emergencies. I wasn't an emergency. But I do think that they still haven't learned the lesson about keeping the patient informed. Good communication is important. We do tend to think that an appointment is an appointment. If I'm on time, I don't expect to have to wait for hours to be seen. I have a life & I had a meeting I needed to be at. So I wasn't HAPI.