When I was a child I lived in two semi detached houses in Birmingham. One was 37 Higgins Lane in Quinton, the other 187 Wolverhampton Road, still in Quinton. Obviously both were my family home, but I can't say that I had a warm, fuzzy feeling about either of them. In fact I was very keen to leave the second & go to College & when I graduated I got married as soon as I could so I wouldn't have to live there again.
During my marriage I lived in everything from a council rented terrace in Bracknell to our first owned semi in North Ascot, then a detatched in the same area, then a big extended detached cottage in a village outside Newbury. Finally we moved to a lovely detached house outside Stroud in Gloucestershire. These were homes. They were places I loved to be, where I felt safe from the world, where the people who were most important to me lived too.
So what makes a house a home? I think most importantly the relationships of the people who live there. The love & understanding & acceptance of the fallibility of the members of the family. Then there are the shared memories of what has happened in the home - good & bad. There is also the feeling of security in your own space. Finally there are the things we surround ourselves with that we enjoy, or which mean something to us.
The house I bought last year is my home & the things in it are mine, but I don't yet feel that it is a home. Maybe that's because I'm single now. I have done a lot to it to personalise it & it's the place where I spend most of my time. Maybe we humans need to share our nest with other people. On the other hand I value my peace & the fact that I don't have to compromise on anything now.
We British are unusual relative to Northern Europe in that home ownership is important to us. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_home_ownership_rate Europe. We close doors & put up fences & hedges to keep people out & mark our territory. Our homes are inviolable. Go to Mediterranean countries & a lot of life is lived communally on the streets.
Here there is a tendency to view our home as an investment in the future, fuelled by the remorseless increase in house values. Buying a house is a step up on the ladder of affluence. Owning your home & what sort of home it is says something about you in our eyes. Just look at all the aspirational TV programmes & house magazines. Style matters, we change our decor according to current fashion, not necessarily relative to comfort. Everything becomes obsolete in the blink of an eye, so we constantly re-furbish. It's truly a "throw away" society.
What does that say about our self image & individuality?
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