Violence & Abuse.

I am quite ashamed to say that I smacked my daughter when she was little. I also smacked children when I was a teacher. There is no defence. Not even that it was" normal" at the time, (it was the 60's). I had been hit as a child & a teenager. Naughtiness does not warrant physical punishment. What child isn't naughty?

Thank goodness we know better now. Any physical violence against anyone is unacceptable. So if we know better, why are we such a violent society & world? Why are some people unable to control their emotions to the point that they will hurt & injure others? Even kill?

There are 3 main types of violence. Physical violence occurs when someone uses their body or an object to control a person's actions. Sexual violence occurs when a person is forced to unwillingly take part in sexual activity. Emotional violence occurs when someone says or does something to make a person feel stupid or worthless. The Council of Europe Istanbul Convention lists 10 types of violence.

https://www.coe.int/en/web/gender-matters/types-of-gender-based-violence

Statistics for violence against women are deeply concerning. In 2025 an estimated 840 million women, almost 1 in 3 have been subject to violence according to https://www.unwomen.org/en/articles/facts-and-figures/facts-and-figures-ending-violence-against-women  In 2024, around 50,000 women and girls worldwide were killed by their intimate partners or other family members. It is shocking.

Then there is war.  

According to the latest VIEWS (Violence & Impacts Early Warning System) forecast for state-based armed conflict, the estimated number of battle-deaths in 2026 is: 

• Ukraine: 28,300
• Palestine/Israel: 7,700
• Sudan: 4,300
• Pakistan: 2,000
• Nigeria: 1,900
• Ethiopia: 1,800
• Somalia: 1,700
• Syria: 1,400
• Yemen: 1,300
• Burkina Faso: 1,200

Global conflict data for 2025 / 26 indicates that tens of thousands of civilians & combatants have been injured across multiple major ongoing wars. Because of the chaos of war, exact comprehensive global figures are impossible to compile, but specific conflict zone reports give a clear sense of the scale.

It is difficult to avoid the conclusion that we humans are becoming more violent & uncontrolled. According to international statistics men are responsible for 85 - 90 % of violent crime. In the UK for attempted murders, serious assaults, and robberies, women makeup only a small fraction (often under 10%) of arrests for these specific offences.

We need to ask why some men are so violent. It's a complex interplay of biological factors, socialisation, and gender norms. It is important to understand that while men are statistically the primary perpetrators of violent crime, the vast majority of men are not violent.

• Testosterone promotes dominant & status seeking behaviours.
• The pre frontal cortex, which regulates impulse control, develops differently. Sometimes predisposing boys to be more physically reactive to stress.
• Boys may be socialised to traditional masculine ideas of toughness & dominance.
• Boys may be socialised to suppress emotions. 

Whatever the causes, routine violence seems to me to have increased over my lifetime. Almost to the point that we accept it as the norm. It isn't normal. It isn't acceptable & we should be doing more to stop it.

 

 

 

"Dear England", Tolerance, Machismo & the Internet

Over the years I think I have changed a little. I think I have become more measured & tolerant. This may well be a complete delusion, but I hope not. If ageing brings anything, surely it should be experience & understanding leading to tolerance.

Watching the BBC drama doc "Dear England" made me think a lot about masculinity as well as football. I have to admit football is a closed book to me. But I do understand the concept of team playing. I also admire the dedication & skill of any elite sportsman. But I was made to think about the pressures on everyone involved in elite sport. It is so easy to dismiss footballers as overpaid, entitled & full of machismo & self absorption.

This well acted drama made me think again. 

In a way it is a commentary on maleness. It highlights the weight of expectation on not just athletes & teams, but on the whole infrastructure around them. That in turn makes you think about what it is like to grow up as a boy in today's society. I would never have contemplated the lifelong trauma of missing a penalty & losing a game without watching "Dear England". I hope I intellectually understand the sheer destructiveness of racism. But this drama brought home it's cruelty & mindlessness - It's bullying. 

The lessons this production teaches are not just related to one sport. We see the vulnerability & emotional reticence of being a boy or man in 21st century England. Where does this begin?  Well it seems obvious to me it begins in the home. It begins with parenting. It begins with the role models of parents & family. It is definitely related to what we all expect a boy or a man to be.

 

A football pitch is a huge space, as is the world we live in. Finding your place in it can be very difficult. 

We think we have become more tolerant & understanding & Southgate, who was England manager from 2016 - 2024, certainly shows us a different way to be masculine. But somewhere along the way we have gone wrong. It isn't a new thing. Why is there still such a difference in the way that girls & boys are parented? 

The average age of first exposure to pornography for boys today is between 10 and 13. Roughly 50% of boys are in that statistic. What does that show about how those boys have been brought up? Pornography normalises unrealistic sexual expectations, distorts views on consent, and impacts adolescent brain development and impulse control. By age 16, approximately 70% of boys watch porn multiple times per week, resulting in higher rates of emotional disturbance, anxiety, and problematic sexualised behaviours.

The reason for that previous paragraph is children's easy access to the internet & social media. Laptops, iPads & mobile phones put unacceptable content right into the hands of children. The tech billionairs are so driven by profit that they do not face up to the fact that they destroy lives by not adequately policing what children can access. 

So we as adults, parents & politicians must force them to take responsibility for the harms. But we must take a measure of responsibility too. We have allowed this to happen.   

Difficult Conversations

The dilemma of how to say something to others, when you know that it may, at best, be taken the wrong way & at worst cause confrontation, argument & hurt, is difficult to handle. The judgement call is a fine line. Should you say anything at all? Should you just "bite your lip" & pretend the problem doesn't exist? Should you be true to yourself & face up to the issue?

I don't think there is a straightforward answer. There are so many variables - the personalities involved, the importance of the issue, the circumstances surrounding it....My gut feeling is always to bring things out into the open & discuss them. But I know that is a touch selfish, because I am not good at going along with something I don't agree with for a quiet life. The issue nags away at me. It may keep me awake at night. I go over conversations in my head. Especially when it involves people I love or like a lot. 

But life is not straightforward. Life is a bumpy ride. We all need to learn how to deal with problems, arguments & confrontation. We all need to be true to our own sense of right or wrong - of fairness. We also need to learn how to broach issues in a tactful & sympathetic way, trying to be rational & keep emotion at bay. In order to do it well we need to listen as much or more than speak. We need empathy & understanding. There are far more grey areas than black & white ones. 

We also need to be able to apologise if we are wrong or accept apology if the other person is. We need to be able to forgive. As Alexander Pope said "To err is human, to forgive divine". 

The thing that concerns me about politics today is that politicians don't seem to be able, or allowed, to "Speak truth unto Power". This means courageously challenging authority, calling out injustice, or sharing critical feedback without fear of retaliation. It originates from a 1955 civil rights and pacifist pamphlet by the American Friends Service Committee. Which is ironic when it seems that few people are speaking truth to the president of the United States who is becoming more & more unpredictable, volatile & downright unhinged in his utterings & behaviour.

My current dilemma is to withdraw from doing something that isn't working for me, without giving offence. Sometimes you do just have to do what is best for you regardless of how others will interpret it. That isn't self centred, it's being pragmatic & having integrity. But that doesn't stop it being difficult. 

 

Repetition

My personal data base is full. So my systems sometimes become confused. This means that I may be becoming quite annoying, repeating things I have already said. I am not necessarily aware of this, but can see that it could be irritating to those nearest & dearest to me. I also have words & patterns of speech that are repetetive, most of us do. The classic is the pointless use of the word "like" dotted throughout every sentence. Personally I find that hugely irritating.

Use of language is important. Words matter. I wonder if we are so use to texts, WhatsApps, emails & all the short form communications today, that we have forgotten how to verbally communicate clearly & well. 

When I listen to the news on radio 4 it is striking that the presenter asks a question, usually straightforwardly & clearly. The interviewee, particularly politicians, may well not want to answer. So they prevaricate by answering a different question of their own to get other information across that they do want the audience to hear. There follows an irascible ding dong of repetition of the actual question & the non answer. It is very unedifying.

I find that on a more personal scale, when contentious subjects are being discussed, often people don't really listen to what the other party says. There is a tendency to hold fast to their own point of view & repeat it over & over. I have sometimes tried to disengage from arguments like this by saying "we will have to agree to disagree". But it often doesn't work. Sometimes people cannot let go. It appears that they feel that repetition will convince me that I am wrong & they are right.

We humans are hidebound, (stubbornly inflexible, narrow minded & rigidly stuck in the past or traditional ways of thinking), by repetetive patterns, not just of speech, but of behaviour. If we are to live together reasonably amicably, both personally & as communities, we need to move on from just repeating the patterns of the past. 

We need to be more open, more generous, more accepting of difference. We need to listen more & speak in a more thoughtful way. We need to try to understand different points of view.

      

Concentration

I don't have any problem concentrating on what I am doing. Unfortunately I am really task oriented. I mostly continue with what I am doing until I'm satisfied it is finished. I can also multi task when necesary. What I can't do is do anything requiring thought & listen to the radio or watch TV simultaneously. I also can't be creative without concentrating. The best I can do is listen to classical music while working - piano or Bach for instance. 

One of the things I really enjoy is reading a good book. I read for various reasons - to relax, to be entertained, to be informed, to widen my horizons & learn something new. When I was younger I could never stop reading a book because I wasn't enjoying it, but now I am quite capable of doing that. My life will be too short to read all the books I actually have, so I'm not going to waste my time reading something I am not enjoying - Something that is a chore. 

So I am quite concerned to find that there has been a marked change in attention spans. Research shows that our ability to focus on a single digital screen task has steadily dropped from about 2.5 minutes in the early 2000's to about 40 - 47 seconds today. In addition overall book reading among adults & younger people is declining, largely because of social media, streaming & the pace of modern life. Plus of course the shorter attention spans.

My concern is even wider. "Sound bites" typically range from 5 to 15 seconds long. They are designed to distill complex information into a short, memorable, and easily quotable phrase. They often contain around 10 to 30 words. We apparently are not able to concentrate & take in longer complex information.

 

So presumably we have been in the process of radically changing our brains - Our Neural pathways. Modern life & technology has changed our brains. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to constantly reorganize and form new neural connections. Our environments, digital habits, and reliance on technology have measurably altered how we focus, remember, and process information. How often I have seen mothers glued to their phones & not talking to their babies or toddlers?

I'm not at all sure that I am happy with that. Thank god my brain is quite old & resistant to change. Although I'm quite technically competent, I'm definitely not scrolling on my phone all day. I'm not a slave to algorithms thinking for me. I don't go down the "black holes" or "rabbit warrens". I am capable of focussing.   

 

 

 

Instant Gratification

Over my lifetime the world has moved on in ways I could not have imagined. I expect my parents generation felt exactly the same. It's a mixed picture, some things are much better, technology for example. Some have stayed the same like the disconnect between the rich & the poor. Some are worse I think, homelessness, the employment situation for the young & the NHS spring to mind.

One huge difference I see is the unrealistic expectation that our desires will be met instantly as a right. I think my post war generation was more stoic, self reliant & accepting. I think the majority of people did just get on with life. I don't think we had high expectations of what would be provided for us by the state. Support from the family, yes. From friends & neighbours too. But not handed to us by an overarching state. 

If that is what you want then someone has to pay - the only way, apart from credit card debt, is from taxes. So the tax system has to be fair & equitable. Data suggests the lowest income households may pay a disproportionately high percentage of their income in total taxes—including VAT and council tax—due to the regressive nature of consumption taxes. The tax system often treats unearned income (capital gains, dividends) more favorably than income from employment, which is seen as unfair to people who rely on wages rather than accumulated or inherited wealth. Although high for the UK, tax-to-GDP ratios remain below the average for many other advanced Western European economies.

Undoubtedly the ridiculously complex UK tax system needs complete overhaul & simplification. "Patriotic Millionairs" research shows that 9 in 10 UK millionaires are proud to live in Britain and three-quarters would be willing to pay more tax to ensure public assets get the funding they need. Great!

But the rest of us also need to understand that we need to let go of the idea that the State will provide. That we can have all the trappings of modern life - mobile phones, computers, huge TV's, disposable fashion, the latest kitchens & bathrooms...on demand. We need to go back to the idea of funding our own lifestyle according to our means. Yes we need to give help to the poor, the ill & the disposessed. But we need to accept that a welfare state cannot & should not fund huge, unrealistic sums of money.

There needs to be a contract between all of us, that as far as possible we will not expect instant gratification, state sponsored, funding. The state should be a safety net for people in real need. Things have got out of hand. We need to accept that some things take time to achieve & that is no bad thing. We need the basics. Everything over & above that is a bonus not a right.

  

We all need to see tax as a duty not something to be evaded at all costs. We all need to really believe in fair distribution of wealth.  

 

 

 

Icons

There have been a few people that I have hugely admired in my lifetime. Two obvious ones, Nelson Mandela of South Africa & David Attenborough of the UK. Both are men who have had vision & determination to effect change for the better in different spheres. Both have literally given their lives to their goals. Without ever meeting them, both seem to be truly remarkable & genuine people who care for others & the world around them. Both worked selflessly & tirelessly for the causes they espoused.

There are sporting icons, great actors, leaders, musicians, dancers. People who have worked exceptionally hard to achieve in their chosen field. It takes effort, dedication & sometimes privation. I admire many, but the ones I admire most are the ones who are prepared to speak out against injustice & wrong. Often that takes great bravery.

We are at a stage in the history & development of our world when we need more people who are prepared to do this. People who don't set out to be icons. They just follow a path of truth & justice wherever it leads.

We have a plethora of paper tigers, influencers, politicians, pedlers of lies & conspiracy theories. Their voices are heard, but they are not acting in our interests or the interests of the planet we live in. 

 

Then there are those who remain silent when they should speak out. If you see a wrong & do not act what sort of human being are you? Taking the easy way is not taking the right way. We may not all have the charisma to be an icon, but we can all openly support truth & justice. We can all influence the thinking of others by providing reputable sources & evidence to oppose lies & conspiracy theories. We can all stand up to bullies & loud voices trying to override the majority of decent people. 

We cannot expect someone else to do this for us. We cannot expect the problems of the world to be sorted out by someone else. Every voice & every action supporting fairness & right is important.

 

Tradition & Politics

I am not convinced that being tied to tradition is such a good thing. Theoretically traditions help create cultural identity, social cohesion & continuity. Really? There are British traditions which seem anachronistic to me, like Black Rod banging on the doors of an adversarial English parliament summoning MP's for the King's speech for example. Does that happen in Scotland or Wales? No wonder they want independence. I also seriously question the singing of Rule Britannia, Land of Hope & Glory & Jerusalem at the last night of the proms. To me they are outdated celebrations of colonialism in a multi ethnic & cultural society.

History is important if we learn the lessons that it teaches. But so much of what we should have learnt we haven't & we just repeat the same mistakes in a never ending "groundhog day", where tedious, monotonous or repetetive situations happen over & over. We are still a hierarchical, male dominated, class ridden, society according to the 2023 Great British Class Survey. 

https://revisesociology.com/2023/04/07/the-great-british-class-survey/

Elite (6% of the population): the most privileged class in Great Britain who have high levels of all three capitals which sets them apart from all other classes. Typical jobs include lawyers, doctors and higher-level managers. Much of their wealth is in property (they are typically home owners), and their income and wealth are double that of the next class down. Also one of the oldest classes in terms of age with an average age of 57.

Established Middle Class (25% of the population): members of this class have high levels of all three capitals although not as high as the Elite. They are a gregarious and culturally engaged class. Average age of 46.

Technical Middle Class (6%): a new class with high economic capital but seem less culturally engaged. They have relatively few social contacts and so are less socially engaged. Average age of 52.

New Affluent Workers (14%): this class has medium levels of economic capital and higher levels of cultural and social capital. They are a young and active group with an average aged of 44.

Emergent Service Workers (15%): a new class which has low economic capital but has high levels of ‘emerging’ cultural capital and high social capital. This group are the youngest class with an average age of 32 and are often found in urban areas.

Traditional Working Class (19%): this class scores low on all forms of the three capitals although they are not the poorest group. The oldest class with an average age of 66.

Precariat (15%): the most deprived class of all with low levels of economic, cultural and social capital. These are the most likely to rent and will typically be in unskilled temporary jobs, with an average age of 50.

  

The Precariat is new to me. How sad that we have had to create a new even lower class. 

 

Yesterdays election results just indicate to me how unhappy the British electorate is with the status quo. Populism or a different way forward seems to be what people want. I do think we need to really look at ourselves & compare what & who we are with Europe, Scandinavia & the rest of the world. We need to find a way to retain some good traditions & finally get rid of the ones that prevent us becoming more in tune with the challenges of todays scientific & technical world. 

 

If we don't I fear we will go the way of the Dinosaurs, because we will no longer be "fit for purpose" in todays fast moving world. 

 

 

Little Pleasures

Ageing means changing, adapting & accepting. Both mind & body change, which affects what you can & can't do. There are two ways of dealing with this, you can accept & modify, or you can refuse & fight it. Accepting & modifying does not mean giving in & becoming isolated, insular & self absorbed. It means knowing the things you cannot change or do and finding "work arounds". It is important not to just lay down & give in, but you do need determination to continue to live a good life, whatever the challenges. 

Several previous pleasures are no longer open to me because of pain, stiffness, fatigue & breathlessness. Hill walking is a long lost pleasure. Pacing is important because stamina is non existant. Gardening & housework are difficult & some things are even impossible. Showering & dressing is a challenge, either my arms are shorter or my legs are longer & I can't reach my feet! Sitting for extended periods in the theatre or cinema is painful. Cooking from scratch is painful & exhausting. Visiting art exhibitions is difficult & tiring. Walking for more than 5 minutes is a challenge. Walking & talking even more so....I could go on, but how boring would that be?

I do think that you have to accept some of the challenges of ageing. I also think that mindset is really important. If you only see the negative you become someone who is not a pleasure to be with. You become a "drain". Self absorbtion is not a pleasant characteristic. Always focussing on your conditions or the aspects of your life you don't like will not endear you to those around you.

So, providing you don't have a terminal condition, (although we all do in a way), or you aren't suffering from a really serious illness, I think you have to be aware & outward looking. You have to find the things that give you pleasure. Little pleasures like enjoying good food & not eating rubbish. Finding a way of keeping fit you enjoy, (I love swimming). Keeping interested in what is going on with family & friends & the world. (You are not the centre of the Universe). Listening to the radio, (I love Radio 4).  Volunteering & helping others, (beneficial because you are actually meeting people). Doing things to keep your mind active & distracting you from the day to day difficulties of life - Puzzles, reading, games like solitaire & mahjong on an Ipad or phone....

I think I am saying look honestly at your thoughts & personality. Would you want to spend time with yourself? Yes, if you live alone I know you do most of the time. But would you enjoy a conversation with yourself? Are you interested in other people, new things, events in the world, life itself? Or are you trapped in a mindset that has unrealistic expectations of others & is negative about everything & everyone?

Actually, I don't think this is just about ageing. It's about just being a nice human being & really valuing how lucky you are in small ways. Accentuate the positive, a song from 1945, the year I was born. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3jdbFOidds&t=60s 

 

Women & Religion

I went to college in Cockfosters North London. It was close to Barnet & Finchley, a Jewish area, & I used to baby sit for Jewish families to earn money to see me through college. 

Orthodox Jewish religious law says that women should cover their hair when in the presence of men other than their husband or close family members. This can be a scarf, hat or wig. Not all Jews are orthodox. 10 - 15% are, with most in Israel. But the population is growing faster because of high birth rates - projections suggest 1 in 5 by 2040. Israels orthodox Jews, particularly the ultra orthodox Haredim, are growing rapidly & follow strict interpretations of Jewish law (Halakha), often living in segregated communities, wearing distinctive, traditional clothing, and focusing heavily on religious study. Women are not confined but they are expected to dress and behave modestly in public. When I was in Israel & the West Bank it was easy to see who were the orthodox Jews. They are very distinctive.

Muslim women are instructed to dress modestly, covering their entire body except for the face & hands, to honor principles of piety and privacy. This usually involves wearing loose-fitting clothing that does not reveal the body's shape and a headcovering (hijab), though interpretations vary regarding the strictness of covering. I have travelled in the Middle East extensively & always felt very uncomfortable seeing the women covered from head to toe in black flowing robes, often made of polyester. I adopted the covering rule, but wearing lightweight cotton & was still uncomfortably hot. In Yemen I was spat at & harrangued because my headscarf had slipped showing a little hair. But that was fairly isolated, most Middle Eastern countires were really hospitable.

Christians are not as focussed on modesty in women, but Amish, Mennonites, and some Catholic or Orthodox traditions encourage modest dress (e.g., covering shoulders, long skirts, head coverings). Historically, women wore chapels veils or head coverings

Hinduism & Sikism also emphasise modesty in women, hijab in Hindu traditions & humility with garments like the ghunghat or chunni often covering the head. 

Ostensibly many faiths use head coverings to symbolize humility and submission to God or higher spiritual authority. Additionally supposedly covering curbs the male gaze & disrupts objectification signalling the woman is not available.

I have a real difficulty in accepting that this fairly universal religious treatment of women is anything other than a form of patriarchal control and a means to blame women for male behavior. Some interpretations suggest the historical, cultural roots was to mark women as "respectable" (owned by a man) versus "unrespectable" (uncovered). 

There is argument as to whether the bible or the quran actually unambiguously requires women to cover their hair & bodies. The interpretation of the texts has been done by men. Men have dominated religion for milennia. I remember being in the cathedral of Santiago de Compostela after travelling the Way of St James. The only woman among a lot of clergy, in embroidered robes, officiating at the service, was a nun, in a plain grey habit, who led the singing. 

Some religions have become more female friendly, but there is still has a long way to go. Mary Magdalene was a prominent disciple of Jesus & was told by him to announce his resurrection according to the bible. But she has largely been dismissed as a prostitute rather than a model for redemption. 

Until religion really treats women in the same way as men & gives them equal standing, freedom & power in all ways I will continue to feel that, at it's roots, religion is misogynistic.

 

Therapy

I swim 3 or 4 times a week. Even if I feel rubbish I still go because I know that when I've swum I will feel better in both mind & body. Half an hour, 26 x 25m lengths of back crawl, and I'm physically freer & mentally relaxed. 

We all have to find ways to deal with 21st century life. Many of us have to find ways to deal with physical or mental issues. Having tried both conventional medicine & many alternative therapies for pain & fatigue, I do know what works for me & what doesn't. Having also had thankfully few periods of quite severe depression, I also know how that feels & what to do & what not to do. 

For example I am a great believer in osteopathy & chiropractic. I feel that practitioners know far more about the skeleton & muscles than GP's. That is not to denigrate GP's, they are what the name implies - general practitioners. Their job is to signpost where patients go next & hopefully give some relief. I also believe in accupuncture, good nutrition & the right exercise. Distraction technique & pacing works for me as well.

I feel that we all need to be aware of our bodies & take responsibility for our own health. Some things are very difficult, if not impossible to cure. So you do have to learn to live with some things. You also have to accept that you will die. That isn't being dismissive, it's being realistic. Sometimes our expectations of what the NHS can & should do are unrealistic. It isn't a cure all for everything. Sometimes life is just a bitch. 

I feel that we all need to be more pro active about our health. We should know if anything we are doing or not doing is contributing to illness. The information is out there, we just have to access it. We need to take responsibility for ourselves & not expect the "state" to solve our problems. There are limitations to what can & should be done for us. We need to be prepared to make changes to our habits if they are harming us. That really isn't easy. I doubt I will ever grow to love the Gym.

I think there needs to be a clearly understood contract between individuals & medics. Also between the NHS & the State. We all need to know what is possible & what is not & who is responsible for providing or not providing it. Our expectations are sometimes simply not realistic. Unless we are all prepared to pay more for the NHS it will continue to fall short of our expectations. 

As of December 2024, the NHS in England employed approximately 1.5 million staff. It is the largest employer in the country. As of July 2025, there were 6,229 open and active GP practices in England. As of early 2024, there were over 700 hospitals operating, (excuse the pun), in England. Complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) professions are not subject to mandatory state regulation, so it is difficult to pinpoint an exact number of alternative therapists in England. The NHS generally recommends only evidence-based complementary therapies such as acupuncture for chronic pain (headaches, migraines, back pain), and manual therapies like chiropractic or osteopathy. They are expensive & not many practices provide them. You can get free, confidential therapy on the NHS, primarily for anxiety and depression, through NHS Talking Therapies (formerly IAPT). Options include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), counselling, and guided self-help for those aged 18+ registered with a GP. But there are long waiting lists. 

 

We seem to be a sick society. Approximately 2.8 million working-age people in the UK are economically inactive due to long-term sickness. Everyone needs to feel that they are valued & contributing. Everyone needs the social benefits of working with colleagues. Being isolated & without purpose is not good for us. The NHS is struggling to cope & is a political football. We all need to look after our own health. 

   

Dear God.....

Although I don't believe you are sitting there in heaven, at the pearly gates, waiting to tell me whether I can come in or not, I do think there is some sort of amazing grand design to the universe. I do believe there are lots of things we do not know or understand. I do have a spiritual side to my personality.

So, hedging my bets, I'm hoping that you will read this & maybe get your act together to sort out the mess we, so called sentient beings, have made of this wonderful world we live in. We have royally f..... it up.

I don't want to be vindictive, but there are so many people today who are really not following your directions about how we should live. Personally I wouldn't just consign them to hell. I'm really not into burning & torture, although it is possible that they deserve it. But really, couldn't you just send a thunderbolt or lightening to take them out painlessly & quickly? Surely that isn't beyond a god? I could easily give you a list in case you haven't noticed, or are really busy? Maybe you don't you think it's your job to re-balance good & evil?

 

Another thing that might help get us out of the deep s... we are in is if you could send a few more really intelligent, curious, caring babies to grow into people who might just help us accept that we know what the problems are & in many cases we know what the solutions are. We just need to actually do what is necessary & b..... quickly. I can't believe that this "tipping point" "end of the world" scenario is what you had in mind. Or maybe you think the natural world will just be better off without us? Armageddon & all that. But that does seem a bit drastic for a god.

That leads us to religion, god. Did you really intend there to be so many different monotheistic & polytheistic, male dominated, faiths? They just end up arguing & even warring. That doesn't seem like a good plan for a god to me. Did you think it through? If you are really omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, surely you could have worked all of this out? I would have thought you didn't even need to do a risk analysis, can't a god see the future? I suppose you thought choice would be a good thing for us. But it really hasn't worked, has it? It's like the supermarket aisle with dozens of yoghurts to choose from. We just end up glazed over & confused.

I'm really not sure we are going to be able to sort this out for ourselves. I do think you should consider stepping in. My grandchildren & children everywhere deserve a non distopian future. 

Just give it some thought. But don't hang about. We don't have centuries.

 

Inspiration from Greenpeace "Letters Live" @ the Royal Albert Hall on April 22nd.  

Saying Sorry

I had a conversation with female friends the other day about apologising. It was very interesting. Although my grandsons will possibly be annoyed if they ever read this, we all thought that men find it more difficult to apologise than women. In fact women often apologise for things that they shouldn't, just to keep the peace. 

Research does indicate that women apologise more frequently than men. It is thought that this is due to different perceptions about what is offensive - Women have a lower threshold as to what constitutes offensive behaviour. Women are more likely to apologise for serious or emotional situations. Research suggests women may be more focused on maintaining harmony in relationships, while some men might feel that apologizing is a sign of weakness.

When my husband was alive I certainly felt the there was an imbalance between us in our view of what warranted an apology. Fortunately we still managed to have a good relationship, despite me feeling that getting an apology was like getting "blood out of a stone". 

Apologising in appropriate situations is important. We all need to take responsibility for mistakes or hurt caused. I just do not think that it is appropriate to apologise for something that the apologiser was not responsible for. So, for example, I don't think that countries can apologise for something wrong that happened historically. I also don't think an individual can apologise for someone else.

The current political spat between Starmer & Robbins is unedifying. It's a face off between supposed different perceptions of what happened. It reveals a pressurised culture & how difficult it must be to work at the top level of government when dealings are not transparent. It isn't good enough to have "plausible deniability" & lack of an honest & accurate record of what has happened. That enables individuals to evade responsibility. Good record keeping takes time, but it appears that there was a deliberate decision or instruction not to do that in this case. In todays tech world it is not difficult to record a meeting, unless instructed not to do so.

 

Frankly no one comes out of this well. It stinks! Starmers "apology" just isn't good enough.

Secrets & Lies

Although telling the truth seems to be a good aim to have, it isn't always possible. There can be valid reasons to either avoid the absolute truth, or even massage the truth. Information can do harm and good. People can be hurt by knowing the truth. We try to avoid doing that if we are sensitive to the feelings of others.

On the other hand I do think that knowingly lying is to be avoided at all costs if possible. Over my lifetime politics has changed immesurably. When I was younger there was a code of behaviour that was adhered to by most politicians. There was two way respect I think, us for them & vice versa. I'm sure there were secrets & lies that the public were not aware of. But the franchise transaction was that politicians acted in the best interest of the country & the people.

I struggle to believe that is true anymore. 

Politicians, for whatever reason, do not answer direct questions directly. They obfusticate & answer an entirely different question that was not posed. They are schooled to do that. It is deeply annoying & frustrating. They are actually the architects of their own public mistrust. Frankly they deserve what they get. Honesty would actually be very refreshing. 

Then there is "political plausible deniability" - a strategic tactic allowing leaders to evade responsibility for controversial, unethical, or illegal actions by ensuring no direct evidence links them to it. By utilizing ambiguous communication, surrogates, or fragmented chains of command, officials can credibly claim ignorance if the action is exposed, shielding themselves from accountability. The thing is that we know. They have been rumbled. We aren't idiots. This is the age of communication & investigative journalism. Sooner or later the truth usually emerges.

I have listened to the emerging information about the appointment of Mandelson as American ambassador for the UK. It is not black & white, there are shades of grey. But it does appear that Olly Robbins was "thrown under a bus" unfairly. People with more experience that me say clearly that "there was no abuse of process", not only was there no duty to disclose, but  the vetting system would collapse if they did. 

The issue for me is, given Mandelsons unsavoury history, I would have thought that a prime minister or the Foreign Office would have bent over backwards to ensure that this situation would not arise. Surely someone felt the need to ask detailed questions about possible outcomes of the appointment? 

This is a mess of the systems making. I can see that Enhanced Developed Vetting is deeply personal & private, but surely the buck stops with the Prime Minister & or the Foreign Secretary who ultimately make the appointment? There should have been questions asked without the necessity of private detail being revealed. 

I am amazed that this has been the way the UK runs vetting for years. Australias system is supposed to be very good. Maybe we should look at that. 

 

This week is going to be interesting if Olly Robbins appears before the Intelligence & Security Committee. 

Budgeting & Debt

I am in the fortunate position of knowing that my outgoings are covered by my income. It was not ever thus. I can remember, in my early marriage, we had no savings at all & all income was spent on the necessities of life, food, heating & rent for example. I can remember having egg & chips several times a week because it was cheap & filling. Everything was cooked from scratch & there were no "cook chill" meals. I wouldn't have been able to afford them even if there had been. We didn't go out for coffees & meals. Having a baby after just over a year of marriage put an extra strain on the household budget. I could no longer work.

As time went on both my husband & I had professional jobs & our income increased. We got on the housing ladder & left renting. We were able to save. Mortgages were manageable. Looking back my generation were lucky. But we did work hard for it & there were costs that were not financial. I felt I was like a hamster on a wheel juggling work, a home & family & elderly parents. 

We were quite frugal. We concentrated on the family, home & friends. We didn't have the many ways there are now to spend money. Life has changed substantially. There is more "stuff". Occasionally we bought big items on hire purchase, but basically we saved up for things we needed & wanted & paid cash. We didn't get into credit card debt because as far as I can remember we didn't have credit cards. The Barclaycard was introduced in 1966. The Access card came in in 1972. The 1980's & 90's started the widespread public adoption and reliance on credit cards. It also started the widespread reliance on credit card debt. 

As of early 2026, outstanding credit card debt in the UK has surpassed £70 billion, figures show a steady rise from previous years. Recent data indicates a 4.5% year-on-year increase in debt, while around 2.5 million UK adults are in persistent credit card debt. I find that truly shocking. Fiscal debt has become a way of life not only for individuals, but also for countries. Why should people manage their finances effectively if politicians think that fiscal debt is fine? The example is clear to see. Spending money you don't have is fine. Who needs to budget wisely if politicians don't?

A budget is a financial plan outlining projected income and expenses over a specific period, used to track spending, increase savings, and make informed financial decisions. I used to have a Boots diary which had an accounts section in the back that I filled in every week, so I knew where the money was going. It was a habit I learnt from my mother in law. I was obsessed with not overspending. There were very few luxuries. I made clothes for me & my daughter & even made a suit for my husband.  I cooked from scratch every day. We didn't pay people to work for us, we did our own maintenance on the house & the car. We managed to keep within our means & even save.

So we were able to move into better houses & profited from increasing values. 

It seems to me that today people want instant gratification. They have higher expectations of what the necessities of life really are. The concept of waiting until you have the money or lowering your expectations seems to have vanished. 

 

I'm really not sure that has made us happier.  

 

 

Strikes or Work to Rule?

I am struggling to find any reason to understand or support the UK resident doctors strike. Presumably everyone could argue that their pay had gone down in real terms since 2008 /9. To be clear, that's 18 years.

It's been a period of financial disasters. The Global Financial Crisis of 2007/8, the Great Recession of 2008/10, Brexit 2020, Covid 2020/21, the Cost of Living crisis 2022......Why should the doctors feel that they have a better case for pay increase than anyone else?

I appreciate the work all medics do. But there are a lot of people in caring professions I also appreciate, teachers, carers, nurses, social workers, all first responders....I would argue that all of these are vocations. All of them should seriously consider the impact of their strike action on other people, or they may well be held to be simply completely self interested. That is not what we expect from caring professions. I can see a justification for working to rule, because all of these professions only work effectively because of good will. But 15 strikes in 3 years. That is an appalling record & nothing to be proud of. 

It is important that any workers have the right to air grievances & negotiate pay & working conditions. I do think that unions & professional organisations have an important role to play in protecting their members. Individuals have very little power, but acting together empowers all. That right is important, but should not directly endanger the health or life of others. There should be effective alternatives such as negotiation, mediation & arbitration, entered into in good faith by both sides.

The mechanism should not be mechanised & turned into war. 

There has to be realism on both sides. It seems to me that not just the UK, but the whole of Europe is in a dire financial situation. There is widespread instability & disaffection with politics & politicians. Everyone's infrastructure is creaking under the load of population growth & change. Managing an economy must be a poisoned chalice in the face of international wars affecting everything. There will be very difficult choices as to where the money we have goes. It's mostly borrowed money anyway. We no longer have big gold reserves or a booming economy.

We will all have to face up to that. The resident doctors are ignoring the reality of the situation we are all in. It is blindly selfish & unaffordable to ask for a 26% pay rise. 

  

War & Geography

I am a big fan of Tim Marshall a British journalist & broadcaster. In particular his books "Prisoners of Geography"- 2015 & "The Power of Geography"- 2021. The former book's 6th chapter deals with the Middle East. The latter book's 2nd chapter is Iran. It's a shame that Trump & Netenyahu didn't read that before they embarked on their illegal war with Iran. Iran is mostly mountains & deserts. That makes a land war really difficult. But thuggish leaders don't tend to fight that kind of war now. They use drones & missiles.

The Gulf of Hormuz at it's narrowest is just 34 km across. The width of the actual shipping lane is just over 3 km. This means that Tehran can threaten to close it to everyone else, as Marshall pointed out in his book. "One fifth of global oil supplies pass through it, (so) closure would mean a world of pain".  We are in that world of pain because that is exactly what Tehran has done, very effectively & predictably. If Marshall knew that in 2021 why didn't Trump & Netenyahu & their acolytes?  

Surely they did, or someone advising them did. But they chose to ignore it. They chose to mount a war they couldn't actually win. They chose to invade a country without any legal reason to do so. They chose to kill & maim innocent civilians & destroy the infrastructure of a country. Why? Simply because they could. 

Men who have no moral compass. No conscience. No care for the pain & suffering they cause. Egotistic men who crave power & money. Men consumed by hubris, self confidence & deluded self belief in their own importance. Both men trying to evade justice & the legal system for crimes they are accused of committing. I don't know what the psychological definition of their personality types is, but it isn't anything good in a leader of a country.

Meanwhile the world looks on watching the devastation in so many places in our world today. Ukraine, Gaza & the West Bank, Iran.....Seemingly politics & politicians are helpless. The United Nations, what a misnomer, is unable to act because of veto's. But at least Guterres does speak out eloquently & compellingly. It all reminds me of the Jugoslav Wars between 1991 - 2001. History repeating itself as usual.

We humans seem to learn nothing. We just keep repeating the same mistakes & let tyrants win. Where is Democracy? Where is Justice? It isn't here now.  

 

Renewal, Religion & War

Easter is an important festival for Christians. It happens when spring is in full blossom & is a symbol of renewal for many, even if, like me, they are not believers. Hindus have the festival of Holi which celebrates the victory of good over evil among other things. Jews have Passover which commemorates liberation from slavery. The Persian new year, Nowruz, is the rebirth of nature. Buddhists have Songcran new year which symbolises purification.....

Yet at this wonderful time of year, when everything is literally springing into life, death & destruction is marching through huge areas of the world. In many cases not literally marching, because war today is death fought like a computer game, by missiles & drones. You don't have to look your victims in the eye & experience actually killing them. You do it from a bunker or from behind your own lines. You are removed from the reality of actually taking a life, seeing the blood, seeing the spirit depart, seeing the injury you have inflicted.

All of this at the behest of despotic & deranged leaders, who often claim some sort of religious belief, like Trump, Putin & Netenyahu. Weirdly they claim belief in Christianity, Orthodoxy & Judaism. Three religions with basically the same fundamental beliefs. All are monotheistic and Abrahamic. Anyone claiming to believe in god is also held to the same necessity to behave in a morally good way. The commandments of Christianity for example. Thou shall not kill & Thou shall not bear false witness spring to my mind. All 3 of these leaders routinely break those commandments. Shame on them.

If there is some spiritual being, some presence outside of our understanding, these men will surely face some sort of judgement & punishment. I sincerely hope they do, although I cannot imagine what punishment fits their dreadful crimes against humanity & our beautiful planet. 

Spring reminds us all that there is the possibility of renewal. It arrives every year & is an opportunity to reflect. I don't have much hope that the truly morally deficient leaders in our world will take the opportunity to reflect & be renewed in a better way. But I do hope that the people everywhere who oppose them & what they stand for will find the courage to oppose them & bring them to face justice. 

Having a Voice

Being a teacher means that I used my voice a lot & also was often exposed to childrens infections. Every time I got a cold it turned into something worse, laryngitis, strep throat, bronchitis, pneumonia & pleurisy. Even now I'm retired I don't seem to be able to just get a cold & I often lose my voice. As I live alone & don't talk to myself much - yet, it isn't a huge problem. 

But communicating & speaking is an important part of our lives. Our relationships & our work lives depend on it. Today we can communicate through other means, text & email for example. But they are open to misinterpretation in a way that speech isn't, because there are context clues with speech - tone of voice, facial expression & body language for example.

However that isn't really what I'm thinking of in this post. I'm thinking of the voice that we each have to influence other people & big decision making. I think that we forget that our individual opinion can be really important in the areas of politics & philosophy. If we speak out individually in social contexts we may or may not influence what others think. But if we disagree with a point of view I feel that it is important to be able to express it. Unfortunately it is often the case that we don't speak out for fear of offending or upsetting others. Or we just aren't confident or brave enough. But letting an unacceptable point of view pass is colluding with the speaker. It's actually cowardly.

People have fought for the rights of free speech. People have fought for the right to vote. People have fought for the right to be part of a collective like a union or professional organisation. One voice in the wilderness may not have much of an impact. But protests & marches can be powerful demonstrations of a groundswell of opinion that should not be underestimated. That is how change for the better happens. Think of Votes for Women, LGBT rights, Grenfell & safer Homes, the Right to Roam, Apartheid, Fracking....

Our right to protest, which is central to a healthy, functioning democracy, is under threat. The police have huge powers to restrict protests and arrest demonstrators under the Crime and Policing Bill.

https://www.libertyhumanrights.org.uk/issue/eight-repeat-protests-that-achieved-change/

Having a voice & using it is very important. Use it or lose it. Losing your voice means far more than being dumbstruck. It means losing your power to affect change for the better.

 

Civil War?

Yesterday I went to a discussion about the possibility of Civil War between Profs David Betz & Jonathan Portes as part of the Oxford Literary Festival. I found the former cogent & compelling & the latter surprisingly poor & arrogant.

I remember clearly the discontent & violence of the 60's - 80's. 

I think the 60's was the start of  profound social, economic, and political tensions that signalled a breakdown in traditional social norms and trust in authority. There was industrial unrest & economic weakness, declining trust in government, race & immigration tension, class divide & social inequality among others. Does that ring any bells?

The 70's brought all of that plus inflation near 30%. Resulting in the "winter of discontent" in 1978 / 79 with widespread strikes, a 3 day working week, rubbish not being collected & energy shortages - The lights literally went out. 

The 80's heralded huge economic & political divisions & Thatchers conservative government, with a decline of traditional manufacturing, mass unemployment, industrial conflict, and severe urban unrest. Not to mention privatization selling off so much of our infrastructure & services. The miners strike of 1984 / 5 was a bitter industrial dispute handled very confrontationally by the government & the police. That was so bad that there is finally going to be an official inquiry into the violent policing at Orgreave. Then there was the Poll Tax riots & the inner city riots in Brixton, Toxteth, Handsworth, (which I knew well) & Moss Side.

So, no one can tell me that civil war can't happen here. All of that laid the foundations for the society we live in today. But all of the metrics have got worse.

 

But there are significant differences that also make the situation worse.  I will just make 2 points. 

There is universal distrust of politicians & politics in general, with good reason. It is arguable that we do not have a functioning democracy & the complexity of governing has increased exponentially, requiring a cadre of very experienced & skilled leaders that are markedly absent. The 3 party system is past it's sell by date.

We live in a age of rapid communication. We all have powerful computers literally in our hands. We have instantaneous access to both reliable & unreliable information. It is difficult to differentiate between truth, lies & conspiracy theory. Equally it is easy to whip up discontent & anger & organise protests which can easily turn violent. 

I really hope that the curtailment of the right to protest & aggressive policing epitomised by "kettling" is not used to address the discontent evident between the "have's" & the "have not's". But I fear that we are in danger of ignoring the indicators that things are seriously unacceptable to so many people. I can envisage rioting & civil war because I have seen the foundations laid.

That is, of course, if we don't find ourselves in a 3rd world war. 

Keeping Calm & Carrying On?

The balance between keeping well informed on world events & seriously worrying about the consequences of the self serving behaviour of some countries leaders is difficult. Personally I think that Trump, Netenyahu & Putin should be indicted & hopefully found guilty & imprisoned. I know that I am judging before hearing all the evidence & argument. But I look at verified sources &  having been a Magistrate for many years, I feel that the evidence is overwhelming. Beyond reasonable doubt. 

The people of the world are facing real harm caused by these men. Everything from death & injury, to loss of their homes & infrastructure, & at the other end of the scale a huge increase in the cost of living. Millions of people are adversely affected worldwide. We in the UK are fortunate, we aren't in the firing line, we just have to face increased costs & shortage of supply.

But it may not end there. I have listened to several respected sources, senior military people, politicians & commentators & the possible outcomes are truly dire. At one end of the scale the civil war risk in the UK is rising due to heightened social tension, economic strain, and polarization, with some experts projecting a potential 18.5% chance over five years. 40-53% of people in Western nations view world war as likely in the next 5-10 years. Former NATO deputy commander Richard Shirreff has warned that the current U.S. - Israel conflict with Iran could be the "final catalyst" for a third world war. We are thought to be in a second cold war fought through regional conflicts, proxies, and cyber attacks. Military analysts and historians warn that the international order is under "considerable strain". 

It is a bleak picture. We live in a very unstable & unpredictable world that has some power & wealth hungry men in charge. 

So what can individuals do? We are not without power. We need proactive, sustained action by individuals to reduce political polarization, mitigate inequality, and foster communication across divides. We need an intelligent & rational response by the masses to counter the actions of the few who have no regard for human rights or fairness. We need to stand up to bullies & challenge extremism in all it's forms. We need to be very selective about our use of media in all it's forms. 

Most of all we need to use our "democracy" & use our vote to elect principled leaders & hold them accountable. We need to ensure good civic education of our young people & support fairer electoral reform. We need to be empathetic towards the disposessed & treat others with respect, regardless of their nationality, race, or religion. We need to reduce economic inequality.

We, the population need to organise & use our power to ensure that the "bad actors" do not escape. We need to keep calm & carry on. ( 1939 catchphrase) 

 

Or we will deserve everything that we get & it will not be pleasant.  

Fiscal Debt & Quantitative easing.

Fiscal debt (FD) and quantitative easing (QE) are

closely linked through a central bank's purchase of government bonds (gilts), which effectively swaps long-term, fixed-rate government debt for short-term, variable-rate central bank reserves. High debt-to-GDP ratios are projected to hit 105% in developed markets by the end of 2026.

The UK has run a national debt for most of the last 300 years to fund wars, beginning in the 1690s. Debt has reached peaks above 200% of GDP after major wars.  It reached roughly 250% of GDP in 1946–47 following World War II. Debt-to-GDP fell steadily from the 1950s, reaching a low of 24% in 1991–92.

The Bank of England was founded specifically to manage a £1.2 million loan to the government. There have been brief periods of budget surpluses—years where it earned more than it spent, under both Thatcher's & Blair's governments. We used to have significant gold reserves. Not now. More than half was sold off at historically low prices between 1999 & 2002. Personally that seems to me a major financial mistake.

I wouldn't run my personal life on the basis of FD & QE, so am at a loss to understand the massive debt we have got ourselves in. So who pays the price of all this - taxpayers, users of services & future generations. In other words you & me & our children & grandchildren. A significant portion of the debt is owned by UK pension funds, insurance companies, and banks, meaning the state owes the debt to people in the UK. Outcomes include rising costs & inflation.

Is the UK bankrupt? Well some say yes & some say no. Some commentators highlight the risk of a "sovereign debt crisis" or "running out of money. Others argue a sovereign nation issuing its own currency cannot go bankrupt. Personally I can only relate all of this to my situation & it doesn't stack up. Politicians & financiers deliberately use euphemisms & obscure language to confuse & obfusticate. If they told us the truth in plain English I might believe they knew what they were doing. So I'm deeply cynical.

 

If we can only keep going by borrowing more are we bankrupt?  I won't be paying the price, but my Grandchildren will. So will yours.  

Questions & Answers

I had a cold phone call about my energy. Within seconds I registered that it was a cold call & told the woman I wasn't interested & hung up. My brain filtered, reacted & made me speak appropriately in a few seconds. That is amazing computing power. Especially as my brain has been around for decades, so it's surprising it's still working.

The human brain reaction time averages 0.25 secs for visual stimuli,0.17 secs for audio, and 0.15 secs for touch. The total time to perceive, process, and respond to a stimulus, typically ranging from 0.1 - 0.3 secs. Age, fatigue, exercise, and stimulus complexity influence speed.

 

Given how lucky we are to have powerful brains it is amazing how prone we are to making mistakes. We are fallible. All sorts of factors come into play. 

A combination of psychological, social, and situational factors shape how choices are evaluated. Key factors include cognitive biases, emotional state, risk propensity, personal values, social pressures, time constraints, and the availability of information

. 

 

Each day we make decisions, even down to what socks to put on. Each day we have complex conversations, social, at work, in a shop, on a phone...Our brain is always working. If someone asks me a question I don't know the answer to, I can usually find out the answer. I just have to check that I am using a verifiable source, there is so much misinformation out there. So many unreliable outpourings of information without evidence from spurious sources.

 

It is worth taking the time to think about important questions - "knee jerk" reactions are not usually the best. I would always try to go for due consideration over speed. Speed without consideration doesn't usually result in reliable choices & decisions.

 

I think that is becoming a real problem for politicians & people making decisions that affect all of us. We aren't prepared to give them time to formulate answers to very complex problems. We are also very intolerant of mistakes. We don't like it if they change their minds. They in turn are becoming more and more wary of answering direct questions & committing themselves to a course of action or an opinion.

 

Truth is important, but it becoming increasingly difficult to find. However, you have been given a brain & access to reliable, evidence based, information, so use it. Don't just follow the herd or the charismatic leader or influencer who shouts loudest. 

 

Trauma & Pain

At some point in our lives we will all experience trauma & pain - Both physical & emotional. Some more than others. I once had to write down all the trauma I have experienced in 81 years It covered both sides of a sheet of A4 - typed! Weirdly I had to keep going back to it & adding things I had missed. Some were surprisingly important, but I hadn't initially remembered them. I later wondered if my brain had put them in a box & hidden them away.

We are shaped by experience. At some point we learn that bad things happen. Initially we may well feel that we cannot cope & be utterly devastated. But eventually the "penny drops" & we understand that trauma can't be avoided, so we have to learn to deal with it. It helps if we are supported by friends & family, but ultimately we have to find the resources within ourselves.

There are millions of people in our world who are dealing with trauma far worse than anything I have faced. People without the basic necessities of life, people living under dreadful repressive regimes, people living with war.....In our relatively safe & comfortable lives sometimes we cannot find it within ourselves to sympathise & empathise enough to not only say we support them, but more importantly take action to aid. 

I watched a Ken Loach film from 2023 - "The Old Oak". I was very moved. It's about a group of Syrian refugees sent to an old mining community in County Durham. The community was devastated by the miners strike & is poor. They didn't know the refugees were coming & were initially hostile & in some cases racist. Both communities were traumatised by life. But gradually the things that were common to both & their innate humanity brought them together. Although it is a sad film, it is very uplifting & has a message we should all hear.

The things we all have in common, whatever our religion or culture, are bigger than the things that divide us. Sadly sometimes we don't seem to be able to see that. We cause eachother trauma & pain because we only see difference. We think our way of doing things & thinking is the only right way. We are deluded. We can be extremely narrow minded & extreme in our views. 

I have reached the point in life where I abhor extremists of any religion or nationality. I see no difference between extreme right wing or left wing politics. I see no difference between extreme Islam & extreme Christianity. We all need to find a middle way rooted in our common humanity. If that means we need to be more tolerant, more willing to share, more willing to distribute wealth & resources more fairly, I'm willing to do that. Farirness is not just an important concept, we need to put it into practice.

 

 Are you? Because if you are not the current instability will only get worse. 

A Difference of Opinion, Mediation & Negotiation

I have always had friends who have had different political opinions to me. Although I have lost friends for various reasons over the years, I don't think I have ever lost a friend because of political differences. It is more likely to have been because of a misunderstanding, or because of something said or done which was unacceptable at the time. Some have just drifted away or moved away. Relationships & people change. 

I think it is important to be able to discuss personal feelings & opinions. Having strong opinions is not a bad thing. "Standing your ground" & "fighting your corner" verbally should be acceptable. What is not acceptable is verbal or physical abuse. Even losing your temper can be a sign of immaturity & weakness. Aggressive shouting means you have "lost the plot". 

I think this holds on a micro & a macro level. In personal & international relationships.

After getting medical retirement in my mid forties I was lucky enough to have several really interesting & challenging volunteer jobs over the next 40 odd years. One was being a mediator for a charity called "Resolve". The training programme was based on the Quaker method & was very good. We mostly dealt with neighbour disputes. I was often surprised how intransigent people could be. I have actually experienced that myself with neighbours. One in particular was actually really intimidating. As mediators we always tried to mediate "face to face". But it wasn't unusual for people to refuse to talk directly to the people they were in dispute with. It depends on the individuals & the conflict. Separate, shuttle meetings are sometimes necessary. 

I watched " The Zero Line" BBC documentary this week. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002rxvc

War is always shocking. But this was another level. It showed the lengths Putin & his generals & politicians are prepared to go to in order to fight his illegal war in Ukraine. The senseless brutality of the killing of his own soldiers who do not want to fight is horrific. 

Wars always end in negotiation. No one wins a war. My point is that simply going to war is failure. Failure of listening. Failure of understanding. Failure of seeing someone else's point of view. We are adversarial. The UK justice system & politics are both adversarial. If we want to avoid conflict & war we have to change our attitudes. Everyone has to be prepared to be more inquisitorial. Where there are disputes people need to treat eachother with respect & listen to alternative points of view.

 

The 8th of March was International Womens Day. Before Maggie Thatcher in 1982 & Indira Ghandi in 1971 there hadn't been a woman who started a war since Empress Matilda in the 12th century. Women, by an large, are less aggressive than men. They tend to be caring & concilliatory. 

Until we learn to resolve conflict, respect difference, & mediate or negotiate out of situations, wars will continue. People will die & be mentally & physically injured. Buildings & infrastructure will be demolished. 

It's all such a waste. 

 

Losing my Mind

I once started to write a novel set in a school, (for obvious reasons). It came to nothing. But I remember the opening line - "Here I sit, losing my mind & minding my loss". While I loved teaching, being the head of a very large primary school, 450 children, was stressful. I didn't lose my mind though.

Now, although I don't feel I am losing my mind, I do feel less confident in my memory. I, who was really well organised, who felt on top of a professional job, running a family & home, plus organising holidays & a social life. 

Ageing does that to you. Bits of you wear out. I sometimes think about the amount of data stored in my brain over a period of 81 years. No wonder retrieval is tricky. Then there is the small miracle of a heart beating consistently for all that time - Aided now by a pacemaker & a daily handful of drugs. Not to mention all the other organs in a body. It is a miracle & we shouldn't take it for granted. Especially as life expectancy in the UK has increased by 10 -15 years since I was born.

But we do. We think living is our right. We think we are individually important. We think we will all live to old age. But we are grains of sand on an infinite beach. We are part of a whole, but of little consequence individually. We can all contribute something to the community or society we live in. We are all special in some way, we all have something we are good at. We just need to use what we have been given.

Knowledge is gained cumulatively through endevour & experience. There has to be effort & openness to learn. We are born with huge brain capacity. The popular idea that humans only use 10% of their brain is a myth; we actually use 100% of our brains. Brain imaging technology, such as fMRI and PET scans, show that almost every part of the brain is active over a 24-hour period, even while sleeping. 

 

Age related memory loss is frustrating. But forgetting what you were going to do, someone's name, an appointment, where something is, none of that is as serious as dementia. It is normal. I'm not losing my mind, I'm just misplacing the data temporarily, it usually comes back. If I'm doing a general knowledge crossword I can usually see an image of the answer, but not remember the word. I have a very visual memory. 

It's a case of "use it or lose it". Exercise increases the blood flow to the brain, socialising keeps the mind sharp, doing puzzles, reading & learning new skills & a good diet - all are important for the brain. If you don't want to lose your mind you have to actively stimulate it.

But you also have to give your brain a rest. So I do wonder whether our addiction to the constant stimulation of mobile phones & computers is a good thing. I was on a bus yesterday. Two pram pushing mothers got on. They spent the whole journey scrolling on their phones, not looking at their children. Only one mother spoke to her child - to say "no". Around 37% of children joining Reception in 2025 in the UK were not considered "school ready," an increase from 33% in 2024. I'm not surprised.