I have always had friends who have had different political opinions to me. Although I have lost friends for various reasons over the years, I don't think I have ever lost a friend because of political differences. It is more likely to have been because of a misunderstanding, or because of something said or done which was unacceptable at the time. Some have just drifted away or moved away. Relationships & people change.
I think it is important to be able to discuss personal feelings & opinions. Having strong opinions is not a bad thing. "Standing your ground" & "fighting your corner" verbally should be acceptable. What is not acceptable is verbal or physical abuse. Even losing your temper can be a sign of immaturity & weakness. Aggressive shouting means you have "lost the plot".
I think this holds on a micro & a macro level. In personal & international relationships.
After getting medical retirement in my mid forties I was lucky enough to have several really interesting & challenging volunteer jobs over the next 40 odd years. One was being a mediator for a charity called "Resolve". The training programme was based on the Quaker method & was very good. We mostly dealt with neighbour disputes. I was often surprised how intransigent people could be. I have actually experienced that myself with neighbours. One in particular was actually really intimidating. As mediators we always tried to mediate "face to face". But it wasn't unusual for people to refuse to talk directly to the people they were in dispute with. It depends on the individuals & the conflict. Separate, shuttle meetings are sometimes necessary.
I watched " The Zero Line" BBC documentary this week. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002rxvc
War is always shocking. But this was another level. It showed the lengths Putin & his generals & politicians are prepared to go to in order to fight his illegal war in Ukraine. The senseless brutality of the killing of his own soldiers who do not want to fight is horrific.
Wars always end in negotiation. No one wins a war. My point is that simply going to war is failure. Failure of listening. Failure of understanding. Failure of seeing someone else's point of view. We are adversarial. The UK justice system & politics are both adversarial. If we want to avoid conflict & war we have to change our attitudes. Everyone has to be prepared to be more inquisitorial. Where there are disputes people need to treat eachother with respect & listen to alternative points of view.
The 8th of March was International Womens Day. Before Maggie Thatcher in 1982 & Indira Ghandi in 1971 there hadn't been a woman who started a war since Empress Matilda in the 12th century. Women, by an large, are less aggressive than men. They tend to be caring & concilliatory.
Until we learn to resolve conflict, respect difference, & mediate or negotiate out of situations, wars will continue. People will die & be mentally & physically injured. Buildings & infrastructure will be demolished.
It's all such a waste.
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