Multiple Personality Me

I have just worked out that I have had 7 "personalities" in my lifetime, each with different names. A lot of my life more than one "personality" existed simultaneously - Only three are not current:-

1. Daughter - Waldtraut
2. Friend - Val
3. Wife - Mache (too long to explain)
4. Mother - Mum
5. Professional - Mrs Carlill
6. Grandmother - Granny Tree House (too long to explain)
7. Me - Who am I? - (See previous post)

I don't mean to compare myself to someone who has Multiple Personality Disorder, now called  Dissociative Identity Disorder, & previously called Split Personality. This is a serious & complex condition which is usually caused by serious trauma. It must be extremely difficult to live with.
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/dissociative-identity-disorder-multiple-personality-disorder#1

Obviously both women & men experience this to a certain extent, but I would argue that it causes more conflict in women than in most men. Women of my generation made huge efforts to try to fulfill the demands of each role to the very best of their ability. All of the first 6 roles require women to put others first & to be "caring". Somehow the "Me" gets lost in that in my experience.

Seemingly today's women have moved on from this expectation of what women will be & do. Some women are more prepared to consider what they want as being equally as important as the needs of others. However, untill we radically change the way we bring up boys and girls, I don't think the emotional tug on women will genuinely be fair or equal with men. To be fair to men, many are participating wholeheartedly in the upbringing of children now to the benefit of both themselves & their offspring.

In my life it has only been in the last 9 years that I have begun to comprehend what I gave up to my multiple personality life & the compromises I made. I'm not saying that what I did was wrong or that I have huge regrets. I am saying that I wish I had been able to keep a space for No 7 - Me in the daily round of multiple demands on me & multitasking.

I really hope the current generation of women realise that No 7 is just as important as any of the other multiple personalities they have.

Drinking Culture

 I can remember going to parties when I was at college & drinking far too much. I can remember a very active social life once I started working & drinking played a big part. I can also remember being drunk more times than I care to admit. None of this resulted in my doing any harm to anyone thank goodness. I just became very merry & suffered a loss of inhibition. Although I was having fun, my judgement was impaired & I now feel lucky that I didn't do something I would live to regret.

My youth is a far cry from the drinking culture of today, seen in the clubs & bars of cities every weekend. People set out to get completely drunk. They start drinking before they even leave home. People become loud & boorish. Some become aggressive & some lose it completely. People are injured, sometimes permanently & sometimes people die.  A & E departments across the country are filled to overflowing. Medics must get to the point of wondering why they do what they do. Maybe we should start charging for drink related hospital treatment - It is a lifestyle choice for most.

A recent case gives rise to questions about whether someone in the public eye has a bigger responsibility to be a good role model than Joe Blogs. I think they do. Sportspeople for example are representing their country & must have a responsibility to be as fit as possible in order to do that. Drinking to excess hardly leads to a fit body & a clear head.

All to often these "celebrities" have a history of similar behaviour. Their drinking culture leads to being offensive & insulting at the lower end of the scale. They sometimes ignore drink driving legislation, possibly feeling the law doesn't apply to them. They certainly ignore the wise counsel of managers who must become quite desperate to halt the self destructive behaviour.

Actually it's sad as well as destructive. Relationships are destroyed because living with someone who is frequently drunk really is no fun. If the only way you can live your life is through a bottle you don't value yourself, let alone your friends & family. It is very immature behaviour & reveals a lot about the drinker.

Personally I think it's about time we had an open discussion about alcohol abuse & it's impact on society. Why should we put up with anti social behaviour & the on costs of drunkenness?
https://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2016/jan/22/alcohol-and-the-nhs-five-key-questions

 

It really isn't funny at all.

Who am I ??? - Who are you???-

Ego - "A sense of personal identity - One's sense of self esteem / importance"

Who we are is largely based on our memories. Things we have done, people we know, places we have been. Few adults can remember anything that happened to them before the age of 3. A new study has found that about age 7 our earliest memories begin to fade, a phenomenon known as childhood amnesia. I think I've got adult amnesia - I don't seem to remember a lot about my childhood at all.

Memory - " Something remembered from the past. The faculty by which the mind stores and remembers information".

So - given all of that, what happens to identity in an ageing population who at the least find their memory unreliable & at the worst have Vascular Dementia or Alzheimers?

 

I also wonder how much image matters to our sense of our own identity. If you are blind from birth & have never seen yourself, how difficult is it to have a sense of identity without knowing what you look like? Image is so important today, not just for people in the public eye, but I know women who feel distictly unhappy without full make up on & men who always dress smartly. That was me when I was working, but nowadays I rarely bother. Somehow I don't feel the need anymore.

Our sense of self is quite dependent on the clothes we wear. We all have a personal style. We choose the clothes & colours we like. How we dress matters to us personally & to how others perceive us. We also tend to make involuntary judgements about others depending on how they look. The judgements we make may be inaccurate & can change as we get to know someone, but if we don't get to know them, changing our view is more difficult.

I  now feel  confident & "happy in my own skin". It hasn't always been thus. As a teenager my self esteem was much lower. Maybe as we age and mature we are able to accept who we are & what we look like more and more. Teenagers & young adults often lack self esteem & confidence. This is sometimes caused by uninvolved or negligent parents, negative peers or trauma  / abuse. 

It seems such a shame that so many people are lost today. They don't know & value who they are. They are insecure & make bad choices. It seems such a simple question to answer, who am I, who are you? 

It's not.