Not the Big C - Whew!

Saw the proper consultant yesterday who dispelled some of the inaccurate info I had been given. Apparently it isn't that unusual to get cysts after the menopause as the Radiologist had told me. I won't need to have a CT scan. The scan & test info they have got is enough to be reasonbly confident that the cysts will be benign. Obviously they will do biopsies to check.

The best course of action, given the size of the cysts & in order not to have even a slight possibility of Cancer, is to have the Laparoscopic surgery & remove everything. So that's what will happen within the next couple of months. I wonder if they can do a bit of Liposuction while they are at it.

So I can go on my hols to the Scottish Isles without a care in the world. Hope the sun shines & the midges don't bite!

Cancer admin?

Tuesday am
I've been pro-active & emailed the Gynaecologists secretary asking her to send Friday's appointment details by email as I never got a letter about Monday's appointment - just a telephone call. (The letter arrived this morning).

I also emailed my surgery to ask them to check that the appointment had been made. It hadn't! The practice secretary has now made one, but it's in the same place as yesterdays, so I'm not convinced that it's right. The consultant I saw yesterday said the Gynaecologists Friday clinic is at one of the other Oxford hospitals. So another phone call to try to clarify whether this is right - Just an answerphone.

Wednesday pm
No response to the phone calls or emails. No confirmation letter or email. I'll just have to turn up & hope that it's the right clinic if nothing arrives. It's all just so time consuming, frustrating & wearing.

Thursday am
Finally got through to a person, the consultants medical secretary, who was very helpful. I have got an appointment tomorrow & it is in the same place as the one last Monday. She said that a confirmation letter will have been issued, but may not actually be sent in time before the appointment. Given that when the letter about Mondays appointment arrived it included a medical history questionnaire which was 2 sides of A4, that seems to be an avoidable failure. Why don't they send the confirmation & questionnaire electronically? Most people have an email or mobile now.

Also I haven't had text reminders for any of these oncology appointments either. Every other medical appointment I have I do get a reminder.

I think once you get to see a medic they are very professional, if busy. The problem seems to me to be that there aren't enough admin staff & some are only part time. Additionally the communication between clinics / departments isn't efficient. So you get the sort of cock ups I'm trying to deal with. It seems unbelievable in the 21st century that communication isn't electronic & therefor fairly immediate. The last attempt at a unified NHS computer system failed & wasted loads of money, but that is what they need & they will have to do it sooner rather than later.

Still optimistic all will be well. It might b.....up my holiday in the Hebrides though. How on earth do people who are working, or not computer literate, or who still think doctors are Gods, manage in situations like this?

Patients really don't need the added stress.

Ovarian Cancer - Maybe

I've had the blood test, (ca125), that shows a marker for cancer, but I don't have the marker.
http://www.targetovariancancer.org.uk/information-and-support/what-ovarian-cancer/diagnosis-and-tips-seeing-your-gp/ca125-blood-test
That apparently doesn't mean that I don't have cancer & if I did have the marker I don't think it means that I definitely would have it. So not conclusive at all.

Today I went to the Cancer & Haemotology clinic & saw a very nice Italian doctor. The clinic was extremely busy - Busier than any other clinic I've been to. I had to wait over an hour for my actual appointment & people were being called all the time. The staff are continuously busy, it must be exhausting.

The Doctor went through everything very thoroughly. "Cysts" 5-6 cms, so bigger than I thought. On both ovaries. The surgery will be keyhole (Laparotomy / oscopy?) Apparently they take the ovaries in a bag & pierce the actual "cyst" so it's small enough to pull back out of the incision, but can't contaminate any other part of the body. Amazing. What use do I have for ovaries? A biopsy will tell whether they are benign or cancerous. A general anasthetic & I'll probably be in hospital overnight because of my age.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Ovarian-cyst/Pages/Treatment.aspx

It turned out that I had been referred to the wrong clinic, so I have to go again on Friday to see the consultant gynaecologist. I think this is more a courtesy thing, so I get to meet the actual surgeon.

Granny Wisdom

Apparently there is a Granny Wisdom movement - Well I think I'm qualified by now. Just call me InstaGran.

Silence is golden. Speech may further fuel negativity.

Be a person of your word. Your word is all you have. Make it honest and reliable. Your integrity is important.

Stand up for yourself. Stand up for your values and defend your self-worth in a non-violent but firm way. 

Think before you act. Results in less mistakes. Take a deep breath and rationalize rather than reacting emotionally.

You will reap the seeds you sow. Take responsibility for your deeds, both good and bad. The thoughts, intentions, and actions you plant today will always have future consequences.

Respect yourself and others will respect you. Command respect through your actions.

Tolerate others. People make mistakes. You never know what someone else is thinking or feeling. 

Forgive your enemies. One of the greatest signs of strength and resilience is forgiveness. 

Don’t become too attached to the material world. Stuff isn't important. You can't take anything with you when you die.

If you climb too high, you may suffer a great fall. Moderation is key.

Never envy another’s success. You’re as unique as your fingerprint and should never measure yourself against anyone else. Strive for excellence, not perfection. 

Life is algebra. Life comes with pluses and minuses, a constant flux of highs and lows.

Everything comes full circle. Nothing begins which doesn’t end, and life moves in perpetual cycles: the same situations, circumstances, and challenges occur over and over again. But each time they return, you are equipped with more experience than before.

You must evolve. Everything progresses and changes with time. Anything which remains stagnant dies out. You must evolve into a better version of yourself. 

Never surrender. Never give in or give up. Opposition is often a sign to re-evaluate your approach, but not an indication to quit.

Don’t take shortcuts. Work done right is work done right. Shortcuts may be easier. A good job is a reward.

Believe in the unexpected. Change is normal. There is a greater reason behind everything and you may know it in time. 

Honor your family. Good or bad, normal or dysfunctional. Your family teach you critical life lessons. Accept your family for what it is and embrace them flaws and all.

Inspire and serve. Be an inspiration for others - Sharing your talents. Live up to your potential.

Build your foundation. A house or person cannot stand unless its foundation is well-grounded.

Give generously, take sparingly. Give with an unselfish heart but take with a cautious hand. 

With thanks to the Huffington Post.

Tactical Voting - Lets do it & Win.

https://politicalscrapbook.net/2017/04/claims-may-called-an-election-to-escape-tory-expenses-scandal/

The above is a theory as to why Mrs May has called an election. I don't know if it's true or not. It seems plausible, if Machiavellian, given her previous stance. But politicians change their minds all the time, like grass in the wind. In this era of "post truth" it's difficult sorting the wheat from the chaff.

We are where we are & we have an opportunity to change the direction of the UK from the Conservative hard elitist agenda to a more caring one. In doing so we can also protect our vital services from Conservative cuts & privatisation & ensure that they serve ordinary people.

However, I believe this can only be achieved if Labour, Lib Dems, the Greens & possibly the SNP & Plaid, form a minority party alliance & work together. It makes sense to me to work for the greater good of the country, rather than fighting a pointless battle on strict party lines. One party rule isn't the only, or necessarily, the best form of government.

The things that unite the three main minority parties are more than the things that divide them. If the Conservatives get in they will change the electoral boundaries so that the chances of any other political party winning an overall mandate will be virtually nil. The face of politics will change for ever & so will the sort of country the UK is.

Is that what we want? Isn't it worth possibly sacrificing one party political power to achieve something better for all of the UK?

Mrs May is becoming increasingly Messianic as did her predecessor Mrs Thatcher & also Tony Blair. I don't want a leader who doesn't listen, who believes they are always right, for whom dissent is anathema. I want someone who is part of a team, for whom power is the power to do good.

Ovarian Cancer ???

I went for an ultrasound scan this week, which morphed into a vaginal camera examination. (Not particularly pleasant I have to say, but fortunately not an SLR!). It was all very professional & the male radiologist was lovely.

There are "cysts" on my ovaries which require a blood test to see if there is a cancer marker - (Being done next week with my routine INR test). Apparently women don't normally develop ovarian cysts after the menopause, which for me was way back in my late 40's. Mine are over the size which triggers concern, but not huge. Isn't it amazing that they can see all of that with modern health technology? They can even tell if the "cysts" are hard or soft.

My GP rang me the day after to explain a bit more than the radiologist did. (I hadn't twigged that there was a possibility of cancer). She referred me to a Gynaecologist & there will be an appointment within two weeks. All very reassuring & I'm not losing any sleep over it at all.

My friend emailed to say two of her friends have died recently from ovarian cancer. It's not something I know much about. But I know a man who does - Mr Google.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cancer-of-the-ovary/Pages/Symptoms.aspx
Today you can even get the statistics on disease. It doesn't look too bad to me.
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/health-professional/cancer-statistics/statistics-by-cancer-type/ovarian-cancer#heading-Zero

I'm not being brave - I just think that it's pointless to worry about something that I have no control over & which may never happen. Either way they will just be removed surgically. I am impressed with our NHS which we take so much for granted. This has all happened in a couple of days. I feel the professionals know their job & are doing it to the best of their ability in the current circumstances of cuts & deficits.

What does worry me is the fact that my unfortunately extensive personal experience of the NHS leads me to believe that it is actually over the tipping point of viability. When I had my accident nearly 6 weeks ago there were no ambulances available to take me to hospital with a head injury & concussion. I suspect I was discharged late in the evening because there were also not any beds available to keep me in. Hospitals are in £2.45 billion deficit. The need is growing but there isn't enough money or beds & medics are in short supply.

We need to wake up & force our politicians to do something about this. I have never met anyone who isn't prepared to pay a little more in taxes for vital services like the NHS. The medics need our support.

Control Freaks & Syria

My younger self wasn't exactly OCD, but I definitely tried to be in control of my life, (& probably the life of others). I wrote lists, kept a diary,  tried to anticipate possible outcomes & planned in advance for most eventualities. My older & wiser self realises that we are not in control of much at all. Life happens to us despite our best efforts.

I am still reasonably organised, but can accept what happens & hopefully deal with it. I don't dwell in the past, I try to live now. I have my own moral compass, but accept that it isn't the same as everyone else's.

Diversity is good. Everyone cannot agree about everything.

But - surely we can agree that dropping nerve gas on people is abhorrent. If that is true - surely we can also agree that we have to take action against regimes who ignore the rule of law. Law should be enforcable. Otherwise what's the point? If we do nothing we are complicit & condone the action. Words are not enough.

We know we cannot completely control rogue, criminal regimes. War is not an option. However an organisation which stands by & does nothing worthwhile because of one or two vetos by questionable regimes seems to me to be an organisation which is failing. I know it's very complex. It shouldn't be insoluble.

This isn't the first time that NATO has failed to act. We should do something about ensuring that it is the last. NATO should accept a majority vote for action & marginalise the countries who repeatedly block justifiable responses to atrocities.

Otherwise what's the point?

A Month is a Long Time

My accident was a month ago today. I still have no memory of the day at all until late evening in the JR hospital. The general consensus is that it may be a good thing, but I would like to know. My impression is that my memory generally is worse than it was.

The facial bruising & swelling has gone, but I still have a tender vertical ridge, (of bone?), up my forhead from the bridge of my nose. I wake with a generalised headache some mornings, but it goes once I get up. I also get headaches when I'm tired, but nothing like as bad as after the accident.

The main problem is my left arm & shoulder & my neck. Movement is better, but is still limited & painful even though I'm taking quite strong painkillers. Dressing & undressing, showering & washing my hair, driving..... all the day to day things you take for granted are difficult. I still can't do back crawl, only breast stroke & sculling on my back, but at least I can swim - UPDATE I did a few lengths of back crawl today - really pleased. The pain is worth the gain. I don't want permanent reduced range of movement & am assuming that exercise will lengthen the tendons / ligaments. 

I am trying to be positive & not let all this dominate my life. I have so many things to be thankful for. I am annoyed though, that someone else's thoughtlessness, which was so utterly predictably dangerous, has caused me so much pain & affected my life so much. If this was just an accident, like falling down the stairs, it would be different. This shouldn't have happened.

On the other hand, that's life. It's unpredictable & sometimes unfair. We shouldn't take the good stuff for granted. Carpe Diem because we don't know how many Diem's we are going to have.

Lawyers & Legal Insurance

I consulted a solicitor who specialises in accidental injury 11 days after my accident.She was really helpful & competent & was very confident that there is definitely good case to answer.

I have the photographs my daughter took on the day of the accident & of my battered face the day after, plus a detailed statement from her perspective. My Blog is a record of the impact on me physically & on my life. I have a statement from D, who is a physical trainer, so has First Aid & H&S skills. I also have a statement form J who found me. There are medical records at the JR hospital & my GP's.

The whole thing is very complicated. The claim has to be registered in something called a Portal. This stage can take 40 days. All parties then decide what their response to the evidence will be. Hopefully, at this point the other side will accept liability & if they do there are guidelines for General & Special damages which have to be agreed.

If they don't accept liability the case goes to Court. Then I may have to have medicals with possibly 2 consultants because there are head injuries & shoulder/arm injuries. The prognosis for any permanent, future, neurological/orthopaedic repercussions will have to be assessed. That could involve a year's wait.

The real b..... is my Legal Insurance with Saga. Apparently it isn't what I assumed 5* Insurance meant - Why am I not surprised? Initially I have to use their Panel Solicitors, Lyons Davidson. Everything would have to be done over the phone or by email because their nearest offices are in Bristol. My solicitor is 5 minutes walk away. I can actually speak to her face to face, which is very important to me.

When I purchased Legal cover I had no idea it was so restricted. I am a 72 year old widow. This accident has affected me physically & mentally. Recovery is very slow. I only started resuming my normal activities after a fortnight. I would find dealing with everything with Lyons Davidsons even more stressful than they already are. I don't think it is reasonable to expect me to deal with all of this remotely. I also think it is unreasonable to expect me to deal with the Portal part of the suit with a different solicitor to the Court section. It would cause disruption & needless repetition, putting much more stress on me. Coping with the accident & injuries is bad enough. This is just making it all worse at a time when I'm really not feeling wonderful.

I've contacted Saga & asked them to re-consider & allow me to use my solicitor - I won't hold my breath. In my experience Insurers are really good at avoiding fulfilling the expectations of the insured. The small print is so lengthy & so small that everyone knows no one reads it or understands it. The law is a closed shop for Lawyers, us mere mortals really can't grasp the intricacies.

Insurance & the Law is meant to protect us - Personally I'm not convinced it does. It just costs a lot in stress, time & cash.

PS - 28th April
6 weeks / 42 days after my initial contact with Saga about my legal cover I still have no clear answer from them  about whether they will let me use my local solicitor. Why on earth does it take so long for a fairly simple decision. All through I have been emailing to try to progress the request & get a decision. If their unreasonable delay means that my case runs outside the timescale for the Portal stage I am going to be a very angry customer.

Seville in the Sunshine

I've just had 4 days in Seville with M. Everything worked really smoothly - even the M25. When I think back to how difficult it used to be arranging independent holidays with my husband, doing it all on the internet is amazingly simple & reliable. Gone are the days of dire hotels, no one dares to lie or exaggerate now we have Trip Advisor. No hanging around in queues to check in, not only can you book your flight, now you can get your return boarding passes too. We didn't even have to show our passports until the boarding lounges - except when we came back into the UK where the queues were huge for UKPA. They did move quickly through the biometric scanners though.

I think M & I are very lucky. We have a city mini break every year & never have any problems deciding what to do because we know we both enjoy the same things. It is lovely to be able to share the experience with someone you get on really well with. Fortunately we both do take quite a while looking at arts & crafts, architecture & gardens & talking about what we are seeing over a nice meal & a glass or two of wine. Finding someone compatable to travel with is great, especially if it is your daughter. There is little worse than going on holiday with someone you think you know well & discovering you don't get on.

Seville is a lovely city - very walkable - although I am getting to the point when my spirit far outstrips my flesh & ambling requires determination & is definitely more challenging. We particularly liked the Real Alcazar, Casa Pilatos, Barrios Triana & Santa Cruz & the Plaza De Espania. M had been told about Las Setas (the mushrooms) which opened in 2011 - 6 giant, interlinked parasols forming an aerial walkway with wonderful views over the whole of Seville.

My only problem with Spain is their brand of Catholicism - I don't think the Catholic church has fully grasped the idea of giving to the poor. The unbelieveble, in your face, wealth displayed in the churches, (e.g the silver & gold Reredos) offends my sense of fairness  & seems to have nothing to do with God, Jesus or Christianity. But I'm probably too much of a heathen.