I had an enjoyable & interesting Christmas. Not least because I got to really chat to adult grandchildren & their cousins. I am very interested in what their generation think, not just about what is going on in the world, but also about life & relationships. Their lives are so different to mine now & also when I was their age.
So I learnt a new word. Situationship - A romantic or sexual connection without clear labels, commitment or defined boundaries. A grey area between friendship & relationship, which can involve intimacy & emotional connection. It's that last bit that concerns me a little, because it can lead to ambiguity. It's supposedly a relationship without expectations, which is fine if both people understand & are happy with that. If they aren't there is potential to cause confusion & anxiety, especially about the future.
I've thought about it a bit since I came home. I really don't think this is actually a big change in relationships, it's just that this generation have given a grey area a name. No harm in that. Personal relationships on any level are tricky. There will probably always be misunderstanding & miscommunication. I know what I mean, but you may very well think I mean something else. The important things are honesty & respect.
Teenagers & young adults give the impression that they are fully developed mentally & physically & they really do know more than their parents or grandparents. Actually I think they do about some things. But equally so do we know stuff they don't because we have been around for longer. The human brain doesn't finish developing until around the mid to late 20's. Key areas like the prefrontal cortex (responsible for judgment and planning) mature last, often around age 25 or even into the early thirties. Complex fine-tuning of functions continues well into adulthood.
There are also differences in the way that different genders think. Not only male & female, I imagine gender fluid brains vary too. Research indicates that male & female brains are wired differently in terms of connectivity. Male brains generally exhibit stronger, front-to-back connectivity within hemispheres, aiding perception and motor skills. Female brains tend to show more side-to-side connectivity between hemispheres, enhancing analytical and intuitive processing.
Difference is good & can be complimentary. But that brings me back to my concern about ambiguity. So long as everyone in a relationship or situationship is clear & understands the perameters of what is going on I imagine it's fine. But if one partner masks what they really need or want in order to keep the situationship going & isn't honest, or if one isn't clear enough that they don't want any sort of commitment then I can envisage hurt & pain.
Being young is wonderful. You should be free to experiment & learn from mistakes. But the amount of mental ill health in the young is worrying. 50% of mental health conditions start by 18. Sadly access to mental health provision is appallingly bad. So the young have to do what my generation did, have really good support systems within their family or friendship groups. Because actually in many cases just talking it over with someone does help a lot.
There seems to be an explosion of mental health diagnosis. I'm not at all sure that is a good thing. Life is a bitch, you do have to learn to cope with it. We create our own thoughts, we have the power to create positive thoughts rather than negative ones.
https://mentalhealth-uk.org/help-and-information/downloadable-resources/
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