New Years Revolution

Looking back, as we tend to do at this time of year, I realise that I have always been a rebel or reformer, (put kindly) or a bit B..... minded, (possibly more accurate). But, and its a big but, I have also always wanted to please & put others first. I was " seen and not heard" as a child. I suspect the conflict between the two has lurked throughout my life, but it is the way girls of my generation were brought up. I was once analysed on a senior management course & the dichotomy was pointed out.

Anyway I'm going to rebel - (I think) - If I can do it without hurting people's feelings. Tact was never a strong point, so this might prove difficult. I think when you know the oblivion taxi is waiting you are entitled to be a little selfish. I'm going to try to do what I want for a change.

It's not that I want to do anything drastic - I've already crammed a lot of experiences into my life. It's more about not doing things I don't really enjoy. We all compromise to some extent - with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends & relatives, our neighbours. It's how a civilised society works. But I think I have always put my own needs & desires at the bottom of the list. It's time to learn how to say "no" without harm.

I don't like:-

• Doing nothing. I've always been very active & task oriented.
• Sitting or standing for a long time.
• Big "Do's". I enjoy talking to people and being able to hear what they say. Otherwise what's the point? Now I'm partly deaf it's even worse.
• Superficial or one sided conversations. I've never been any good at "working the room".
• A lot of noise. Ditto No 3 bullet point. Music in shops drives me potty - I can't think.
• Christmas 2015 style - Rampant consumerism. 
• "Stuff" - I don't really need anything. I'm trying to simplify my life.

I like:-

• Interesting people & places.
• Children - (reasonably well behaved & in moderation).
• Learning new things.
• New experiences. 
• Old friends.
• Good food - but not too much of it.
• A good white wine.
• Reading a good book / Watching a good TV programme, film or play / Listening to music, (of my choice).

I have come to the conclusion that I have to accept that I don't have the energy I once had. I get tired. Even doing nothing is tiring. My memory has gone to pot. I'm not as tolerant as I was. (Previously I could always see everyone's point of view. Not good for decision making!) In other words, dear reader, I'm well on the way to being a boring old woman.

It has struck me that I should enjoy my remaining years & not waste a moment on doing something I don't want to. Life should be a balance between fun & necessity. Up till now I think I've had too much of the latter. Must aim for more FUN.