Responsibility & Expectation

"There is only one way to salvation, and that is to make yourself responsible for all men's sins. As soon as you make yourself responsible, in all sincerity, for everything and for everyone, you will see at once that this is really so, and that you are in fact to blame for everyone and for all things.”

 Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

What an oddly negative point of view. I can only be responsible for myself - for my own actions or non actions. I can be responsible for the effect my behaviour has on other people or things.  I can cause great pain & hurt to others by thoughtlessness or ignorance. I can change the course of events by what I do or don't do. Multiply that by the population of the world & you immediately see that we are in a constant state of flux and change, and really not masters of our own destiny.

I can attempt to behave responsibly and recognise that what I do or don't do is important. Probably not earth shattering, but each person's behaviour does make a difference. I can try to think of the impact I can have and think before I act. Most importantly I can recognise that I am human, not perfect. I will make mistakes. The trick is to know a mistake when I see it & do something about it before it's too late.

I can expect other people to behave as well as possible. I can expect them to treat me with respect & care. But I have learned in 70 years, that expectations can be both a good thing and a complete waste of time. Other people will behave as they see fit. Sometimes completely selfishly & unkindly. So I try not to expect now.

I don't think I believe in salvation, although there is always the possibility of redemption. I do believe I am a grain of sand blowing in the wind. But grains of sand can cause great discomfort in a shoe.

All I can hope to achieve is to do no real harm.