Most people want to belong. To a family or a friendship group or at work. It's normal. Most of us want people to like us. We want to be able to work co-operatively. We need to be able to express our opinion, but also we need to listen to the views of others. Sometimes we need to accept that we disagree, without trying to force our opinion on them. Occasionally we also need to stand firm if we feel that an opinion is wrong. Everyone has a right to their view - We personally just don't have to accept it.
It's a delicate balance because it's important to retain a sense of self. To some extent most of us adapt our behaviour to the situations we are in & to the people we are with. Adaptive behaviour is fine until it becomes maladaptive.
Humans are unique & varied. It isn't possible to agree with everyone. It isn't possible to enjoy the company of everyone. What really matters is how we deal with disagreement or conflict. Both are normal in human relationships & we do need to accept that. What we shouldn't do is accept someone who is trying to manipulate us or force their views on us. We can see that so clearly in the international situation today. But we need to be able to recognise it in our personal relationships too.
I think most people have several personas. Different aspects of our personality that we bring out for different occasions. Trying to fit in, not rock the boat. Actually that's a useful tool to avoid conflict. We are social animals living in various communities. It wouldn't work if we were all egotistical & dominant. That causes conflict & even aggression.
But no one should abase themselves or alter their core values in order to be people pleasers. Submissive dogs roll over on their back to dominant ones. People are intelligent, thinking entities who use education, experience & information to think.
We need to be true to ourselves. Sometimes there is a cost to that which we have to accept.
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