"The pain is frighteningly fresh. ...it will always be fresh, ....I will never escape the hollowness, the echo of empty rooms in my soul and the anguish in my heart." (Patricia Cornwell - "The Last Precinct".)
I hope this doesn't sound maudlin. The empty rooms are real as well as metaphorical and they can't be filled. You have to deal with emptiness & silence after bereavement. I say to myself that lots of my friends are, and have always been, single. Not from choice, but because love was never strong enough for commitment or the right person just didn't appear at the right time. They cope as they have always coped and have good, meaningful self reliant lives.
That isn't the same though as spending all of your adult life with one loved person & dealing with them leaving you. Everything is changed in a moment. Nothing that you took for granted in your life can ever be the same again. You realise that you have no control over anything.The loss is too huge to bear at times. At other times you think that you have moved on & created a new life.
I wish we as a society were better at dealing with death. More important, I wish that it was talked about before it happens to someone close, so families and friends had a better idea how to behave. That only really comes with personal experience. But I do think we could be better at it if we made death a natural part of life.
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