Mothers Day

If the relationship is good, the bond between a mother & daughter is to be valued & nurtured. Provided it develops into an equal & adult relationship of mutual caring & shared but independent lives it is wonderful. I am very lucky, I love my daughter & I'm confident that love is reciprocated.

We live an hour's drive apart & see eachother reasonably often - about every 3 weeks. We talk on the phone & email, but not every day, maybe weekly. I know that it's important that her family comes first. she has a husband & two 5 year old twin boys. She also has a part time teaching job & a busy social life. She knows that I am independent & capable of living my own life at the moment.

So what has Mother's day to do with this relationship? I was spoiled on Sunday. A lovely meal & beautiful bunch of flowers. All hugely appreciated. But I don't need that to know that she cares about me.

What is important to me is seeing her & her family & hearing her news - good and bad. Sharing the highs & lows & helping out when I can. Also accepting help when I need it. A hug is more important than a bunch of flowers any day. A sympathetic phone call or a good laugh is a gift beyond any other. Shared experience - the opera, theatre or art gallery is great.

Mothers Day is fine so long as you accept that it is a commercial money spinner. It's just one day a year, hopefully it won't make or break a relationship. But time, regularly spent together, is beyond price. All relationships need to be worked at. They are like plants, they need constant attention and effort. It's worth it.