We are all conditioned by our upbringing. We inherit traits & genes. We are born with a blueprint from our anticedents. Our personality results from nature & nurture.
At 76 I think I know myself fairly well - good & bad traits. I can accept who I am, but I can, & have, modified my behaviour as the years have passed. Experience has led to subtle shifts in the central traits.
The thing is, some patterns are so deeply ingrained that I haven't achieved much modification. I still hear my inner, mothers voice telling me that I need to work harder, do better, be conscientious, succeed at everything, put everyone else first...I now know these are not messages beneficial to my well being. But I can't shake them off. They were learned too well - too early - too regularly.
So, this week I ended up almost unable to walk. Each weight bearing step was very painful. The combination of Fibromyalgia & Osteoarthritis finally won. I spent hours & weeks working on the front garden of my new house pruning shrubs which were completely overgrown. Long leggy growth with all the foliage on top & nothing below. Dense bushes burying completely dead, old shrubs. It resembled the Prince fighting his way through to Sleeping Beauty, (that is what my garden is). But I am no young, handsome prince. I am too old for this sort of hard physical work.
The thing is there is a time pressure. It's already rather late to be doing this. It's best done in Spring or immediately after flowering. But it needs to be done so that it will look better next year. I don't need a highly qualified landscape gardener. I need a young, fit person with a bit of common sense who will do what I tell them. If they have got some knowledge & aptitude that would be good though.
How do you find someone like this? If you know, please tell me. Both I & my garden will be very grateful.
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