Doing the Right Thing

I was brought up to always put myself last in any situation. Children were "seen & not heard". As a teenager & young adult my views had little importance - They were very different from those of my parents. I grew up to be a "pleaser" but also tried to hide quite a bit of anger at not having a "voice".

This background resulted in a lifelong reforming personality. I don't think I have ever been involved with any organisation, either paid or voluntary, without wanting to change it in some way. Hopefully for the better. I also complain if I feel things are wrong. Not aggressively, but definitely assertively. I simply won't walk on by & ignore or be made to be complicit.

I try to do the "right thing". It is very important to me. The concepts of justice, freedom & fairness matter a lot. Doing the "right thing" is often difficult & uncomfortable, especially if you are a woman. It's easy to be accused of being confrontational or strident. One of my grandsons thinks I "complain" too much. I want him to understand that if you don't stand up & be counted nothing will change for the better.

Many people don't want to confront wrong. They find confrontational situations acutely uncomfortable. We humans prefer not to "put our head above the parapet" or we "keep our head down". We are capable of walking on by & ignoring situations we know are troublesome or wrong as though we are wearing blinkers. 

The difficulty is that "the right thing" is subjective. The world seems to have become much more complex as I have aged. What I believe to be the right thing is not a universally held maxim. Black & white is usually several shades of grey. Who am I to say that someone else is wrong?

I think you have to just go with your gut instinct, your conscience. It's usually a good barometer. Whether you act on it is a matter for you. You have to live with your own bravery & cowardice in equal measure.