Loneliness & Being Alone.

This was one of the first things I blogged about after being widowed, when I decided to Blog as a coping mechanism. The following link summed up what I learned.

https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5068302536110183813#editor/target=post;postID=2811342474394407359;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=88;src=postname.

Now, 7 years later, it still holds true.

In a typical day I probably don't have extended conversations with anyone. If I have a chest infection I often don't know if I can speak unless I talk to myself, which I try not to do.  Unless I go swimming or to the shops for food I don't meet anyone. Conversely, I have lived in an urban area for 3 years now so I do meet acquaintances & neighbours more than I did living in rural Gloucestershire.

I think you get habituated to your life, whatever it is. You develop coping mechanisms to deal with being alone. You become accepting of things you cannot change. You try to find pleasure in different things than when you were part of a couple. You attempt to put your situation in some sort of context - better than many - worse than some. You recognise that life is a gift & try to be positive.

But for some this simply isn't possible, because of ill health or depression for example. If you are alone and lonely it is very difficult, even impossible, to maintain a "glass half full" disposition. Our minds are powerful tools for good and ill. The mind / body link is at the root of much of the Dis Ease of modern life. We have an epidemic of isolation & loneliness in all age groups & strata of society. It isn't just the elderly & infirm who live solitary lives.

I go to the theatre, to the cinema, to exhibitions, I watch TV, but I miss the sharing of opinions & discussion. I know what I think, but everyone needs to have their opinions modified & enriched by someone else's.

People need people. We are social animals. We need communication & physical contact. Technology is my lifeline to the world. I'm lost without it. I Blog, I Email, I research, I text, I phone. It's better than a void of nothing, but none of that is the same as really sharing my life with someone else. It's nothing to do with sex or even love. It's to do with companionship.

Those who have it are very blessed.

Those who have empathetic friends who make the effort are blessed too.

This song by Ralph Mc Tell says it all beautifully.
http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/mctell-ralph/streets-of-london-11076.html