A friend from my Grammar school 6th form days has died. She is the first one of my close contemporaries to go. We haven't seen eachother for almost 50 years, but I am still really sad because we meant a lot to eachother at that time in our lives when everything was opening up in front of us & we were young & enthusiastic to grasp it all.
Now at the tail end of my life, with people I know leaving - permanently, I know how important it is to value good friends & family. I know that love & friendship isn't about the gifts you give for birthdays & Christmas. It isn't about who has what - who has been a success & who hasn't.
It's quite simple really, it's all about time. Friendship & love costs nothing. It should be freely given. "Listen" & "Silent" are spelled with the same letters. There are appropriate times for both. What people need is other people to really listen to them & be able to be silent in an engaged & loving way.
All too often we are so wrapped up in the tumult of our own lives, a lot of it actually not that important, that we aren't properly "there" for the people who love us & need us.It is shaming that in our modern, civilised world lonliness is endemic in all demographic groups.
We all die. We are all dying right now. In philosophical terms we all do die alone. But to actually be alone when you die must be dreadful in the true sense of that word. I don't think that happened to my friend.
I'm not afraid of dying. I am afraid of how I die.
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