Beggars on the Streets

I was in Oxford town centre this week & I walked past a young woman sitting in a doorway begging. I didn't give her any money, nor did I speak to her. I didn't have the time. Crowds of people surged past her like a tide, as though she simply wasn't there. I did wonder what had brought her to be in that situation at her age. It was bitterly cold and I doubt anyone would chose to do that.

On my way back I intended to stop and talk to her to find out a bit more. When I reached her she was talking on a mobile phone and smoking. Her dog was sitting patiently next to her.

I carried on. In that split second I had been judgemental. How could she afford to smoke & feed a dog & have a mobile phone? If she could afford those things why should I give her money? She was young & presumably fit to work at something.

I am conflicted. I don't believe in giving money to individual beggars. Will what I give change anything for people who are presumably destitute & possibly homeless? Will I be supplying the means for them to continue with destructive and addictive behaviours? I would rather give to organisations who can ensure that the money is spent wisely and helps as many as possible.

On the other hand there are so many young people who have left home for one reason or another. Many feel the unknown is better than the known abusive & disfunctional home they left. Many, not all, don't have the education or skills to be employable. Many have psychological problems. Many have been and are being abused. What can and should be done about this?

In a developed and wealthy society there should be enough clean and safe places for the flotsam and jetsam of society to find real help. Not just shelter, food & the means to be clean. Someone to talk to. Help to find a job or the benefits they need if they can't work. Help to find a home.

 We should care. It could so easily be my daughter. If it was my daughter I would care. More importantly I would do something about it.

My Wren Living kitchen - Finale

It's well over a year since I signed the contract  for my Wren Living kitchen. Apart from the unacceptable overrun and all the problems I had to deal with, and have blogged about in this strand, there has been a lengthy issue of compensation.

I took legal advice after getting an offer from the Directors which equated to £35 per week for the 17 weeks the installation took to completion. The lawyer said there was a case to answer & this wasn't enough - I should get in the region of £2,000. To cut a long & boring story short, the company played "hardball" despite the fact that I threatened legal action in the County Court. I stood to lose the paltry £600 on offer.

Life is too short if you are 70. I've been through the Court loop before & it's very time consuming & depends on the Judge & intricacies of case law. There is always another way to view an issue, however just your cause. I felt I had wasted enough time on Wren Living. There are more things in life than winning.

That is a major step forward for me. If I feel strongly about fairness I normally fight to the end. Now I don't need the money. I have more enjoyable things to do with my time. Facing up to a company or person with limitless resources & no moral compass is fine if you are young and fit. I'm neither of those things. Time to let go and move on.

But - I do believe in Karma. Our actions and non actions define who we are and we all eventually pay a price for "bad actions".

Touchy Feely - Hugs & Kisses & Ebola

I have always been someone who is touchy feely. I do hug people I love / like a lot as a greeting & if there is something wrong in their lives or just to show my feelings. I know I also touch people in conversation on the arms or legs if we are sitting. (That can send out the wrong signals if the other person is a man. I do it automatically & do try to remember to apologise to clear up any misunderstanding!) Other people don't necessarily feel the same though & one has to respect that they don't like very close personal contact. I have friends who who prefer a certain distance.

I'm not so keen on hugging & kissing people I don't know that well. It all seems so shallow & meaningless. Also there is the issue of how many kisses - 1,2 or 3. I have had the problem of missing the cheek & ending up on the mouth! How embarrassing is that.

That is why I'm really pleased that the Ebola epidemic does finally seem to be coming under control thanks to the brave work of so many people. How does one watch someone one loves die in a terrible way without being able to give them the comfort of human warmth through touch? It must be almost impossible to resist the urge, especially when the victims are babies or young children or the aged.

I really hope we have internalised the lessons of this outbreak & politicians & governments will put proper protocols in place now. The drugs companies do finally seem to have fast tracked research for this hitherto Cinderella of an infection. Hopefully the resultant drugs will be within the capability of emerging nations to purchase.

The world is imbalanced on all sorts of levels. The poor are too often the victims. Whole families have been wiped out by this. Everyone directly concerned is scarred for life. We are capable of doing better & we should. Now.

Being 70

It's my birthday today and 70 years have silently crept up on me, catching me unawares.

I have accumulated a big database, but unfortunately there is a system malfunction & the computer crashes quite frequently, meaning I can't access the info. I have memory add on's so the Ram capacity is really good. Unfortunately it isn't possible to download everything onto an external hard drive for immediate access.

Sadly the hardware is outdated & well past it's sell by date. It is no longer possible to upgrade to a newer system. There are so many glitches & gremlins now that the whole system has slowed down to the point where it is very frustrating. It is no longer possible to empty the re-cycle bin & create more space & speed. Replacement parts are not an option either.

It would be good if Geeks somewhere were working on these problems, but as is the way with technology they are busy devising ever more complicated & efficient newer models.

There's no escape. I have to admit I'm an outdated model.

Freedom of Speech or Free Speech?

Freedom of Speech - the political right to communicate one's opinions and ideas to anyone who is willing to receive them.

The limitations on speech relate to: libel, slander, obscenity, pornography, sedition, hate speech, incitement, fighting words, classified information, copyright violation, trade secrets, non-disclosure agreements, right to privacy, right to be forgotten, public security, public order, public nuisance, and campaign finance reform. These limitations are to prohibit forms of expression where they are considered offensive to society, special interest groups or individuals.

Article 19 of the  Universal Declaration of Human Rights, states that "everyone shall have the right to hold opinions without interference and have the right to freedom of expression."

"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it" - Voltaire.

 So it isn't a clear cut, "one size fits all", right.

I am constrained, in what I say to or about anyone, by honesty, a desire not to hurt, embarrass or offend them and a general politeness learned in my upbringing and experience of life. In a reasonably civilised society, which values each individual despite their difference to oneself, we should exhibit tolerance and respect.

I think we have now reached the point where we confuse freedom of speech with free speech. The latter meaning that anyone has the right to say anything about anything whenever & wherever they want, regardless of it's veracity or likely impact. That isn't a society I want to live in.

Words can do harm & even kill as shown graphically this week. People are hurt by what others say about them. Occasionally people even commit suicide when they have been verbally abused & bullied. Do we have the right to mock & belittle? Do we have the right to score points against someone or something to amuse others & gain some sort of status?

I don't condone the terrible acts of murder this week. Nothing justifies any of it. I am horrified and sad for everyone affected.

But, I think we should all consider a little more & say a little less. In other words adhere to that old adage "think before you speak".

Charlie Hebdo - Death Cults & a Death Wish

A death cult indoctrinates members in devotion to, or worship, in some form or other, of death. (Interestingly this doesn't appear in Collins English Dictionary.) A death wish is the desire for self annihilation.


In the UK suicide is the biggest cause of death in men under 35. It’s one of the few things that men are better at than women. Because of the way in which they try to kill themselves, men are more likely to succeed. Every year, more than 5,000 people take their own lives – and 22 per cent of them are men aged between 16 and 24. In the 20 to 24 age group, men are four times more likely to kill themselves than women. Suicide is the commonest cause of death among men under 35. 

 

There is one suicide every two hours - and at least 10 times that number attempt it. 6.2% of 16-24 year olds have attempted suicide in their lifetime. In 2011, 194 15-19 year olds and 427 20-24 year olds committed suicide.

 

What makes people prepared to die for a cause? Are we seeing people being indoctrinated / conditioned to think that killing is the right thing to do? Numerous scientific experiments have shown that people can be "trained" to behave in ways which are contrary to "normal" behaviour. Look up the Milgram experiment in America.

 

When you add to that the marginalisation of groups of people like the Kouachi brothers, who often live in poverty traps like the banlieues or city suberbs, which have been increasingly used to describe suburban low-income housing projects, where the majority are unemployed, then you have a recipe for disaster. Add to the mix charismatic leaders with fundamentalist views & you have a time bomb waiting to go off.

 

Muslims believe the Quran or Koran was verbally revealed to the prophet Muhammad through the angel Gabriel. That is no more or less believable than that Jesus was the son of God born of the Virgin Mary. Both religions have very similar core beliefs & tenets of behaviour. It is wrong to kill your fellow human beings and you will not go to heaven as a martyr or anything else if you do. 

 

If you don't value your life or anyone else's no one else will either. We have moved into a new age of "expendable people". Politicians & the armed forces started it with the euphemism " Collateral damage." 

 

I hope they are now ruing the day because they have unleashed a holocaust.

Gymnastic Granny

Currently I'm doing 4 swims, (38 lengths / half a mile / 35 minutes) and 3 Gyms, ( 10 mins treadmill, 5 machines circuit training, up to 10 mins cross trainer),  a week. No problem! I'm also supposed to be doing exercises at home regularly - haven't managed them once yet! How pathetic is that? So this afternoon I'm going to try Pilates as an alternative.

The thing is it all takes up so much time. Walking there & back, changing and showering. (I am very clean though & saving on my water bills). It's about one & a half hours a day, so it breaks up every day of the week. A morning or an afternoon more or less gone.

On top of that there's an osteopath session once a week.

All this to try to build up wasted muscles, improve movement, get rid of stiffness & reduce pain. If it works it will undoubtedly be worthwhile. If it doesn't I suppose I will be fitter. So I do my best.

It's fascinating watching the people in the gym at the same time as me. We are so variable. There are the super cool, super fit young adults plugged into their Ipods. The men in particular give the impression of little or no effort. (Unsurprising considering their muscled torso's). At the other end of the scale there are the oldies like me puffing & sweating & grimacing with the pain & effort. In the middle are the teenagers there for the fun of it and a gossip.

As the song says "I will survive". Dying of a heart attack in public simply isn't an option!