Words

Words. Droning. Rushing through the humid air.
Words. meaning what? Communicating?
My eardrums vibrate. The message enters my head,
But goes nowhere.
What happens to the words in my head?
Where are they going?

Why aren't I understanding their meaning?
My head - a vast area of cotton wool,
Muffled, deadened, a vacuum.
Surrounded by people, attacked by words.
I sit.
On my hard chair.

My body radiates heat.
My bones ache. I move, stretch, change position,
In an effort to alleviate the torture.
It doesn't work.
My eyelids give up the unequal struggle.
They sag, droop, drag the lashes downward.

Outside people are moving, going places.
Free.
Traffic moves, horns sound.
Bustle. Life.
I am encapsulated in time and space.
Hearing nothing.

Aware of everything.
Not wanting to be aware.
Intelligent questions.
How do they do it?
Is it me?
Why does my mind reject it all?

Losing my mind & minding my loss.

*NB I wrote this when I was a headteacher & had to go on courses. This man really bored me rigid & I felt really disconnected from his subject.