I try very hard to be Zen like & live each moment fully mindful. I know that nothing can change what has happened & also that however much I want something to happen sod's law says that it may not. Sometimes it does turn out to be better that plans have had to be changed - other opportunities emerge.
I just wonder why the juxtaposition of events so often means that "the best laid plans..." go awry - or is it just that I wasn't born lucky? The snow didn't stop me seeing Les Mis on Thursday night, but I have to admit to a frisson of concern that I may have to walk home from Stroud.
Friday dawned silently white. I was meant to go to lunch with friends I haven't seen for a long time to share experiences of a trip to Nepal. They live on the other side of the Severn, so conditions are even worse than here. Fortunately that has just been postponed.
I was then supposed to drive to Oxford to see my daughter & family to celebrate our joint birthdays. A take away & bottle of champagne on Friday evening & a rare, looked forward to opportunity to enjoy a chat on our own. Impossible - the weather & road conditions meant it would have been foolhardy & I'm too old to be stuck in solitary isolation in one of the many accidents & traffic snarl up's. The combination of weather & inexperienced drivers, plus phone calls from concerned male friends was enough to deter me.
A forlorn hope that I might be able to go today - but nothing much had changed except it's colder. So, a happy weekend lost.
How to see the positive in this? I really don't know at the moment. Except - I haven't had an accident or been hurt, & I haven't caused anyone else to be hurt. Dealing with disappointment isn't easy. We all have aims & desires which seem very important at the time. The temptation to say "why me" is great. Perhaps what we should say is why not me?
At the end of the day none of this experience is really important in the grand scheme of things. My disappointment is merely an emotional response to having what I want thwarted. Buddhists would say that we shouldn't desire things. Obviously I'm nowhere near Nirvana yet!
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