The Distance Between Us

We know exctly where we are on the surface of the earth & where everything & everybody else is because of Sat nav. We know how long it will take us to get somewhere. Distance is a simple calculation. We take for granted travelling huge distances to see different places and cultures. We can bridge that gap.

The gap we can't bridge so easily is the distance between ourself & someone else. It varies according to the closeness of the relationship, the willingness to reveal oneself & the intelligence to be interested in similar things. I find myself listening to conversations & wondering what the point of them is. Sometimes what people talk about is so mundane & uninteresting, I feel distanced from the participants. I can facilitate a conversation by asking questions & listening without really trying. But I have no real interest in what is being said. That sounds so harsh, & I'm aware it ignores kindness.

The problem is that most relationships are based on the trivia of life & if you don't participate you can become isolated. I know this wouldn't be good. I know humans are social beings. I could talk to David about anything. We were both interested in the big ethical & philosophical issues & questions of the world. We were both fascinated by other cultures, landscapes, history & archaeology. He wasn't as interested as I am in art, music & drama, but other friends I have are.

I think friendships could be measured in distance, not how far away we live from eachother, but what we talk about. Now I have so much time on my own I realise how important & rare good conversation is. Although I do enjoy the peace & quiet I also realise how much I miss talking to someone every day. Emailing, texting & phoning are all good for keeping in touch, but simply cannot replace being with someone & sharing the moment.

I must try not to become isolated by the physical distance between me and my family & friends. Even more important perhaps, the distance created by the fact that they all have families & busy lives which don't include me. That way can lead to negative emotions and unhappiness. I need to try to make the effort to bridge the gap. It is hard, because I don't want to make demands or play the sympathy card, so maybe I don't contact them as often as I should & leave it to them to contact me when they have time. It's a dilemma.