Talking & Listening

I often listen to journalists interviewing politicians - Almost guaranteed to raise my blood pressure. So often they talk over each other, so you can't actually hear what is being said. So often they have completely different agendas & talk about completely different things. There are certain politicians who immediately make me shout at the radio in total frustration, usually those on the right.

As I've aged I've become more of a watcher & listener. There was a time when that wasn't the case - I had very strong views & was more dominant in conversations. I notice things now, that I probably didn't when I was younger. 

Good conversation is based on interest, asking questions, probing information & sharing ideas. I also think you have to like someone to be prepared to spend time engaging in conversation with them. I certainly can't be bothered now, unless forced to, to spend a lot of time making conversation with people I have nothing in common with or don't particularly like. On the other hand I am very happy to argue with someone I do like, who has a different perspective to me.

I have noticed that it isn't unusual for some people to over share & monopolise a conversation. It intrigues me that they appear unaware that they are doing it. In order for me to be interested in a conversation I prefer to actually know the people being discussed. Or there needs to be an interesting general point being made. I am sometimes surprised at lengthy, one sided, conversations about people I have never met. 

I am also surprised when a conversation centres around the life of the person I am talking to, with little or no enquiry about my life & what I have been doing. A good conversation is a two way exchange that is mutually interesting. 

We are social animals. We need to meaningfully interact with each other. It is important that we are able to talk & listen to many voices. We need our views to be challenged. None of us is always right. Life is nuanced, there are always shades of grey & different perspectives. 

Communication via WhatsApp, texts & emails isn't the same as actually having a face to face conversation or even a phone call. I am quite concerned how polarised, insular & dogmatic we seem to be becoming. Tapping is replacing talking.