Putting Parents in Boxes

I have boxed up 4 parents - literally in coffins - not personally of course. Figuratively. I've also boxed up my daughters father. I have boxed up, or otherwise disposed of all their posessions. The representations of their lives in tangible things. Mostly things which weren't worth much financially, but were sentimentally. A lot didn't even go in boxes, but in black plastic sacks. It's not a pleasurable activity. But as you do it you go through a process of saying goodbye & in doing so reliving happier times.

We are boxing up the living now because of Covid 19. I was boxed inside my house for months & may be again. The elderly, sick, disabled & infirm were boxed in care homes, isolation wards & hospitals, away from their closest relatives & friends.

I'm not at all sure what we should be doing in the face of a pandemic for elderly & vulnerable people. I am just wary about this idea that shutting people away from human contact apart from carers & medics is a good idea. In other, less "civilised" or culturally different societies, it simply wouldn't happen. The extended family takes responsibility for it's own.

Many of us have lost that sense of responsibility because we lead very busy lives. Many don't live close to parents or family. We, not unreasonably, put our own immediate family & job first. We have busy social lives. I know because I had that sort of professional life. I found spending enough time & effort on parents very difficult to achieve because they lived miles away. 

Who should be responsible for me or anyone? My first response is - me, myself. I'm a capable & independent person. Up to now I have been perfectly able to manage my life with all its unexpectedness & complications. I think the next 10 years of my life are going to be different, because I can feel myself changing. I don't have the stamina I did. I forget. I'm fatigued. 

Our society is not geared up to give the best experience of old age to everyone. So many people live lives of lonliness & isolation. Many live in poverty & lack sufficient healthy food. They go to food banks for boxes of necessities. Life for the elderly is OK if you have resources. If you don't you must feel trapped - boxed into poor housing.

We should be judged on what we do for anyone who is in need - Thank god for the wonderful volunteer organisations which have sprung up during this pandemic. But it just shows what our politicians & society fails to do.

It isn't as though we are actually hard up.