Fear Based Living - Trust

I know my childhood was a very long time ago in a different age. I understand that good parents have a very strong instinct to want to protect their children. But I do think that society doesn't have a balanced & realistic attitude to risk.

Childhood & adolescence is the time when we should encourage our children to find out for themselves what they are capable of. They need to be able to assess risk, make mistakes, learn by experience what the parameters of their capabilities are. They need to be able to deal with misfortune - things do go wrong occasionally.

If we are over protective of children they will become timid adults. They will be habituated to "fear based living". They won't have learned how to deal with adversity. They will have an unrealistic expectation that someone else will make choices for them & ensure that they are always OK.

Life itself is a risk, every moment of every day something bad could happen. But it mostly doesn't. Life is mostly fairly boring & predictable. Yes, dreadful things do happen, but you shouldn't live your life as though they are about to. If you do you are denying yourself & those you love real opportunities.

What we need to develop is a happy mind.

 

All the great spiritual teachers & philosophers of the world share the same message, that happiness cannot be found outside of us, in the external world. There is no person, place, material possession, or amount of money that will bring you true, lasting happiness. Happiness is only found within. You have to spend time taking care of yourself and discovering what makes you feel happy. It will vary from person to person.

There are so many things to be anxious about in our complex lives today. You can be crippled by fear. Anxiety disorders are the plague of modern living. The charity Mind is a great source of help and information -

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/anxiety-disorders/#.XYjn_WZ7n7A

We have to teach children to trust their insticts & not be limited by fear. We have to send them out into the world as happy & confident people. We can only do that if we are not bound by fear ourselves. 

Worry gets you nowhere.

Global Climate Strike - Extinction Rebellion

I think I'm getting a bit old for rebellion. But actually there were a lot of Granny's & Grandad's at the Oxford Climate Strike today. It was a very British affair as the handwritten schedule shows.

It was all very jolly with a band and various individuals with drums and instruments. There were people on their own like me, but also family groups, (often 3 generations) & groups of school children & teenagers. Most people carried home made or printed placards & banners. There were also quite a few photographers & press around, often getting in the way.

The noticable thing was that we were a very diverse group. There were new age hippies, college types, very ordinary families, all people who shared a common concern for the danger we are in. It was a lovely sunny day & the mood was happy, but focussed. Chanting emerged spontaneously out of nowhere. Because it was such a big group there were often several different chants at the same time.

The first march was just the children. Isn't it wonderful that we can let primary aged children go off on a march without their parents? Obviously there were stewards keeping everyone together on route. Isn't it also wonderful that children who are so young care enough & are informed enough to do this? 

At times the strike seemed to have a life of it's own, at times it seemed completely unfocussed & leaderless. It wasn't helped by the fact that the PA system couldn't cope & so I couldn't hear the speakers after the first march. 

In the end I left at the start of the second march because I was very tired, but also because I simply couldn't hear what was being said, which was a pity because there were some good speakers on the schedule. Also, boringly, I needed to be in for the plumber.

I hope politicians listen, but more than that I hope they have the guts to do what is necessary. It is, however, a forlorn hope.

Inhibitions - Personal & Political

I wouldn't go naked down the street - (It's one of my recurring nightmares. I wonder what that reveals). I wouldn't deliberately hurt someone physically or emotionally. I wouldn't be rude or inconsiderate. I would try very hard not to lie.

I'm probably quite outgoing & sociable. But I do have inhibitions, some of which I'm not prepared to reveal here.

I would actively try to inhibit someone else from crossing the boundaries of behaviour which I hold dear. If I didn't I would be tacitly accepting them as normal & within the range of social behaviour.

Inhibitions allow a social group to function well. Inhibitions also play an important role in conditioning and learning, because people must learn to restrain certain instinctual behaviours or previously learned patterns in order to master new patterns which are more acceptable.

That is why I am completely amazed & concerned by what is happening in our country & around the world. We seem to be living in a time when many of those in power have lost their inhibitions & feel no compunction to behave well or in the interests of those they govern.

Lies, deceit, ill manners, self interest, abuse of power & worse, all seem to be the norm. Peter Hennessy's "Good Chap" politics disappeared completely from the British parliament with this current Conservative government. Last night was the culmination of the total degredation of democratic government.

I am ashamed to be British. I am ashamed of the way the "mother of parliaments" has been debased. 

Democracy is in it's death throes because of the lack of all that makes it a workable principle. Principles & inhibition have ceased to exist widely enough for governments to be unable to govern.

I recently ushered for "Posh" at the Playhouse Oxford. As far as I can see the Bullingdon Club still rules at the Conservative party. Until that attitude of entitlement disappears I could never vote for them.

 

Now - A Single moment

My whole life changed in two single moments in 2009.

Firstly on my birthday in January I had a phone call, whilst in Madeira, to say that two thirds of my house had been inundated by a water escape from the loft & everything was destroyed.

Secondly in June my husband was terminally injured in a freak accident.

Since then I have been much more aware of the importance of moments. We all tend to live taking tomorrow for granted. We don't fully value today & what we have now, this minute. Buddhists call awareness of moments Mindfulness & learn to meditate so that they can be fully conscious of now. That takes effort & commitment, so it's hard to achieve.

I have been watching the political situation around the world all my adult life. Now defining political moments seem to be happening thick & fast, both here & abroad. So fast you can hardly register one before the whole picture changes. It is dizzying & very worrying. Now is unique in my lifetime.

Everything seems very negative & bleak if you follow the media who tend to mainly report "bad news".

I have to believe that things can change for the better. I have to believe that the Now I will leave for my grandchildren will be better than this Now. It is quite hard to remain an optimist in a climate of fear, when all around us the world seems to be disintegrating.

All the complex questions are political in some way or other. Many politicians aren't up to the job or are in it for their own self serving reasons. But many do really want to make change for the better happen.

We just have to hope that the good ones triumph - Now. Or it might be too late.