Fitting In v Rocking the Boat

I suspect I never have really fitted in for a whole bunch of reasons:-

• Christened Waldtraut by my German mother in 1945 at the end of the 2nd world war. (No middle name).

• A difficult time at school due to the above + the fact that I was tall for a girl, bright,  & had to wear specs from Infant school onwards.

• Looking back, a childhood and adolescence full of tensions at home due to two very different parents & their personalitites & difficulties. No siblings or extended family at all.

• The influence of my father made me a lifelong Socialist. 

• The influence of my mother made me overly task oriented, conscientious, determined, organised & competitive.

I probably became assertive & bolshie as a defence against a controlling mother & passive father. I was quite emotionally volatile. I felt things deeply & wanted to change things I perceived to be wrong.The latter continues, but with age I hope has come discretion & more understanding and tolerance.

The question is how far should we try to fit in with things which make us uncomfortable? I have recently been brought face to face with that, although I have to admit that on holiday someone, who didn't know me well, once said I wasn't a team player. Now the phrase is fitting in with the ethos of the team. I was also told on a management course that I was an idealist & a reformer, not necessarily comfortable traits. My husband thought my expectations of people were too high & no one but I could meet those expectations!

The thing is that I do believe that boats need to be rocked occasionally, otherwise we all become complacent. Real change comes about because someone somewhere questions the status quo. That can be uncomfortable if you want a quiet life. "Whistle Blowers" have a very difficult time. You only have to look as far as the NHS. People don't want to be challenged, they often take it personally. But, if we go along with something we don't agree with we are condoning it & complicit.

The Bible says "know thyself". Well I think I do, with all my faults. But I also know my own mind and what is important to me. In lots of situations there comes a time to walk away. You have to chose your battles.