There are times of day I really enjoy - going to bed knowing I have a good book to read, going for a swim first thing in the morning & knowing that however awful I felt on waking, I will be revived & ready to face the day, for example. There are also times I dislike - first awaking & wondering what the point of getting up is going to be, eating solitary meals.
When you live alone you become very aware of time. Sometimes, if you don't have anything in particular to fill the time, you are almost aware of every minute that passes. Other times your "to do" list is so long you simply don't think you can fit it all into the time available.
I have always been active & busy. Now that is constrained by physical limitations, so there are things I can't do anymore. But I need to feel there is some point to my existence. I need to feel that I have achieved something each day. I also enjoy meeting friends & good conversation.
I watched a TV programme about the isolated & lonely elderly & it brought home to me how easy it must be to go out less. To become a virtual recluse in your own home. To have eons of time stretching before you with nothing particular to do & no one to talk to. Unless you have huge inner resources that must be a slow living death. Perhaps we should all make a little more effort to interact with lonely people we know.
It takes quite a lot of effort to go out, to engage with other people, to be interested in other people's lives. It's also quite daunting to do things on my own when I have been used to being part of a couple. But if I don't continue to make that effort I will lose contact with people & I too will become isolated.
Variety is the key I suppose - some time enjoying the peace of being alone & choosing exactly what I do or don't do. Some time enjoying the company of friends & neighbours & doing things together. When time hangs heavy I just need to remind myself how blessed I am to not be struggling simply to live.
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