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Wednesday 21 December 2011

Prisons of the Mind.

We are all self imposed prisoners. We are prisoners of convention, of what other people think and expect of us. We are prisoners of the conditioning and learned behaviour instilled in us by our parents. We all want to be liked or loved, admired & respected. We are co-dependent on others for validation of ourselves.

We may want to break free from this. There may be things we want to do, but haven't quite got the nerve to cut ourselves off from the weight of others opinions or demands. It is almost impossible for most of us to be completely selfish & do just what we want. Equally it is almost impossible to be completely honest about what we want to do or not do. We don't want to hurt the feelings of others.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this. But as you age you realise that you are on borrowed time. In reality everyone is on borrowed time because death or infirmity can come at any age. But it isn't till you are older that you realise this.

So, having spent your life putting someone else first, parents, partners, children, family, friends, the job......there has to come a time when you try to put yourself first. This means breaking the habits of a lifetime and it is not easy. If everyone was truly selfish society simply wouldn't function and we wouldn't be very nice human beings. Most things, particularly at the level of the family, rely on "goodwill", on people putting themselves out & putting others first. Usually, in my experience, it's women who do this.

Well, I've done it for 66, nearly 67 years. I think it's about time I was free. Free to say no. Free to do exactly what I want. Free to be impetuous & spontaneous. Trouble is, I think I'm probably too well programmed.

   

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