Looking Back & Looking Forward - Memory & Memories

Like many people of my age my memory isn't what it was. In theory I have almost 74 years worth of memories stored in my brain. In practice an awful lot have disappeared. Apart from isolated & disjointed incidents, most of my childhood has gone, but in all honesty I never could remember that much of it.

Similarly, although I remember more, much of my adolescence is locked away in my memory banks. When I talk to people who knew me, they remember so much more than I do.

What I don't know is whether this inability to recall a lot of my life means that my brain is full to overflowing with more important things, or whether my memory of my life is just poor. On the whole I think it's partly because I don't look back - I prefer to look forward.

We are all shaped by our life experience, but what has happened has gone. We should try to remember the lessons life teaches us though. I do know, now I'm old, the things I didn't do well. I realise I wasn't understanding enough to parents & parents in law. I was too wrapped up in my own life, my family, my social life, my work. There was an actual distance but also a metaphorical one. Now I feel that in some ways my life is mirroring that of my mother & mother in law. Maybe it's Karma. Maybe "T'was ever thus."

Looking forward into the new year we all think about the things we would like to change. I realise that I can only change things I am in control of. I also realise that the things I can control are very few. So I don't make resolutions.

There are things I would like to achieve in my remaining years. I would like to have more time, but am aware that my time may come to an end at any moment, so I need to use it well. I have books to read & creative things to do for myself. I really want to do my bit to change the world, to make it a fairer & more just place, to stem the tide of destruction that humans are creating.

Whatever I as an individual do will only be a small ripple in the cosmos. But if enough people understand that collectively human beings are very powerful then we might avoid the tsunami of destruction which is hovering out in the sea of life. Enough very informed & intelligent people are now looking forward & telling us what is on the brink of happening.

If we don't heed that collective voice & take action, then life in the future will be very different for our children & grandchildren. Their memories of us will not be positive ones. They may not have a good future to look forward to.