Trumps Behaviour & the Nobel Peace Prize.

I can dislike your behaviour intensely, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I dislike you, or think you are a bad person. Why am I thinking that? Because of Trump, the Gaza ceasefire & the Nobel Peace Prize. In actual fact, in Trumps case, I do dislike him - a lot. I certainly don't think he is a good person. But I can only judge him on his behaviour, because I am never likely to meet him. 

I was quite surprised at the 1895 criteria for the Peace Prize - "the person who, in the preceding year, shall have done the most, or the best work, for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses". This seems to me to be surprisingly narrow. 

There have always been controversial winners - Shimon Peres who developed Israels nuclear capability & was arguably a war criminal, also Henry Kissinger who was notorious for his devastating bombing campaign against Cambodia for example. 

 

There have also been notable omissions - Mahatma Ghandi & the Dalai Lama stand out. 

This years winner Maria Corida Machado is a Venezuelan opposition politician & activist who played a leading part in organising demonstrations against Maduro's dictatorship, which is characterised by electoral fraud, serious human rights abuses, rampant corruption & severe economic hardship. Opposing Maduro in a country like Venezuela takes balls. She is in her 40's & has 3 children. In my view that makes her very brave.

So where does Trump come in the list of those bidding for recognitian as peace makers?  According to the White house he has brokered peace between Azerbaijan and Armenia, Cambodia and Thailand, Israel and Iran, Rwanda, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, India & Pakistan, Egypt & Ethiopia, Serbia & Kosovo & the Abraham Accords. According to BBC Verify those claims really don't stand up. A ceasefire isn't lasting peace as the Palestinians & Israelis may well discover. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y3599gx4qo 

He actively lobbies to get the prize & is so narcissistic that he thinks it's a done deal. He didn't actually write the current ceasefire agreement between Israel & Palestine. The proposal was first drafted by mediators from the United States, Egypt, and Qatar, accepted by Hamas on 5 May 2024, and presented by U.S. president Joe Biden on 31 May. On 10 June, the United Nations Security Council supported it as Resolution 2735. He's a bully too.

But my opposition to even considering him for a Noble peace prize is even more than that. He was impeached for inciting a mob to storm the Capitol building because he lost the election to Biden saying: "if you don't fight like hell you're not going to have a country anymore". He has never conceded that Biden won. Incitement is not a crime under the First Amendment unless it meets certain criteria. So he got away with it. He uses aggressive, divisive, and dehumanizing language, which is hateful against racial, ethnic, and religious minorities.

I rest my case.  

 

Blame & Grievance

I think we all have a tendency to blame someone or something when things go wrong. It's easier to feel that someone or something is more responsible than we ourselves are. It's a defence mechanism. We avoid negative feelings & try to stop feeling anxiety, Or, conversely, we try to feel a sense of superiority. This may temporarily provide a sense of control or self-protection. Blaming is typically a cognitive distortion that hinders personal growth, prevents emotional regulation, and can lead to resentment and damaged relationships. Basically it's not good for us.

Grievance stems from a real or perceived wrong, hardship, or injustice suffered in life. Something we feel is unfair. I've just been watching "The Count of Monte Christo" by Alexander Dumas. Not a classic that I have read, but perhaps I should. It's an epic tale of suffering, betrayal, escape, adventure, and retribution. The thing is, however the justified the "hero's " grievance is, does it validate the repercussions of his actions on people who had no part in the original heinous act? Also is the effect of harbouring the grievance on the "hero" worth the outcome?

Negative emotions, e.g. anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, guilt, jealousy, apathy & disust, can have negative effects on us. They can eat away at us & cause physical harm if they don't motivate us to change our situation or find solutions to problems. We need to address the underlying causes of negative emotions in order to develop better coping strategies and grow personally. 

Emotions are complex physical and mental responses, involving physiological changes, thoughts, and behavioral reactions, created in the brain. Healthy expression of emotions improves interpersonal communication. The problem is when people aren't able to communicate well & express emotion appropriately. 

All too often we see inappropriate emotional reactions to situations. We seem to have lost our filter, that inner voice that tells us when we have overstepped the mark. When we have gone too far & done more harm than good. 

What we say is as powerful & can be as harmful as what we do. We all need to pause & think before speaking & acting.

 

  

In Sickness and in Health?

I've got a torn tendon in my right hand & I've had to do a lot of chasing to get anything done about it. It seems that hand clinics & much else have all been outsourced to a private company called CORA. After waiting nearly 3 weeks for an appointment & trying to navigate a dreadful website, I finally phoned them. The woman I spoke to was really helpful & emailed me a "choose & book" form. The Oxford clinic had no appointments at all, Bicester & Banbury had 6 month waits. So I've had to choose Reading which has a 3 month wait. That's despite the GP saying the referral was urgent. I'm right handed, so the impact of the damage is difficult to deal with.

It brought home how the NHS is struggling. This isn't life threatening. Fortunately it isn't excruciatingly painful any more, but I can't put any pressure on with the palm of my hand & the hand is permanently at an angle & very stiff. So washing & dressing, making the bed & washing up for example, are really difficult. When I swim I have to have it splinted & dread someone knocking my hand. My osteopath thinks it might need surgery.

The median wait time for planned hospital treatment in England is 13.3 weeks, according to the latest NHS data from June 2025. I'm assuming that means the first consultation, not actual treatment. The pre-pandemic average was 7.3 weeks in 2019. Apparently trauma & orthopaedics has the highest number of patients on the waiting list, with over 800,000 people waiting in March 2024. So I'm not alone.

I'm doing what I can, I can afford my osteopath who is very good. Swimming helps because I do back crawl which means the water resists the hand & pushes it back a bit. I've bought a gel fidgit ball which feels like squeezing a silicone boob! But my concern is what sort of movement will I be left with after such a long wait to be seen, never mind actual treatment. I need an ultrasound scan to see exactly what the damage is.

But everything needs to be put into context - people are not being diagnosed in a timely way, they are  suffering a lot of pain & disability, some must be dying needlessly, because our health service isn't as good as it should be.

If we want the care we deserve the NHS has to improve the way it operates, (excuse the pun). But we too need to make clear that we want to fund it properly. The UK generally spends less per person on healthcare compared to other high-income European nations, such as France, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, Austria, Denmark, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, and Switzerland. This is because other countries are wealthier than the UK, some make better political choices about health care & some make more efficient use of resources. 

There is room for improvement in the NHS, but it needs political will, taxpayers to pay more & the NHS to put it's organisation in order.

 

https://www.kingsfund.org.uk/insight-and-analysis/blogs/comparing-nhs-to-health-care-systems-other-countries 

 

Price & Value

The price of everything has gone up over recent years;- Food inflation 5.1% - (e.g. beef, butter, milk, and chocolate) / Housing costs - mortgage interest and property maintenance, rental costs up 6.2% / Motor fuels / Services 4.7%. Inflation is caused by global demand & supply chain issues, high energy prices, & wage growth & labour costs. We all know what price means, it's literally the cost of living. The UK has had price inflation for all of the time that its price levels have been officially measured and reported. Between 2021-2023 inflation was historically high, reaching a 41-year peak. 

Inflation has significantly affected poverty in the UK by raising the costs of essential goods, particularly for low income households, who spend a larger proportion of their income on food & energy. This disproportionately impacted them, leading to a significant drop in their real incomes, increased material deprivation, and a rise in food insecurity. 

What is value though? The regard something deserves, it's importance, worth or usefulness? The estimate of the monetary worth of something? Our judgement of what is important in life - e.g. principles or standards? What value do you put on a human life?

Currently there are major conflicts (wars) in Ukraine / Russia, Israel / Palestine, Yemen, Sudan & Myanmar. The cost of those wars is counted in global military spending, direct financial suport & supply chain disruption costs. But there is more than a simple monetary cost. There is also the cost in terms of loss of life & injury, displacement & health, and the psychological & cultural cost for both sides of any war. On top of all of that there is the infrastructure damage, environmental damage & serious curtailment of civil liberties. 

As an example the monetary cost to Ukraine is thought to be £524 billion to the end of 2024. For Russia it is thought to be $450 billion, with Western sanctions estimated to result in $1.3 trillion in economic losses by 2025.

What on earth are we doing? We certainly aren't thinking logically. If we were we would be counting the cost in terms of human life lost & environmental damage. According to the British Ministry of Defence, more than one million Russian troops have been killed or injured since the full-scale invasion of Ukraine began on 24 February 2022.

What is the point of it all? In the end there will have to be negotiated peace - until the next time some leader decides that he, & it is always he, wants more territory & more power. 

I can only conclude that some human beings simply have an apocalyptic death wish. 

 

Joy, Happiness & Contentment

Of these three I find it really difficult to decide which I experience. I'm not sure that I have truly experienced joy at all. I think that the closest I have come is travelling with my husband & walking in wonderful landscapes. What is joy? Supposedly it is great pleasure & happiness. A deep, internal sense of well being & contentment, independent of external circumstances, which lasts longer than fleeting happiness. It is rooted in an authentic life aligned with one's values, meaningful connections, and a profound inner sense of purpose or fulfillment, even in the face of suffering. 

That's a lot to ask of life. The obvious response to the question "when did you experience real joy", is the birth of a child or ones wedding day. For me, for very different reasons neither were joyous. 

Then there is happiness - a state of mind characterized by positive emotions, a sense of purpose, and a feeling of fulfillment, deep pleasure. Well, yes. I have felt those things. It has usually been relatively fleetingly though. I always mistrust people who seem to be overly happy with their life. In my experience life is a bumpy road, full of surprises & challenges. You have to grab happiness when it happens, because you always have to deal with sorrow & heartache too. I don't think that it is possible, in this world, to feel happy all the time. 

So that leaves me with contentment - being satisfied with ones life & circumstances. A sense of inner peace with what you have without constantly wanting more. A lasting feeling of fulfillment that is distinct from fleeting happiness, an appreciation for the present and a sense of completeness. I can live with that & be immensely grateful for it.

 

The main point of life, as I see it, is to try to do no harm. We all have an ego, a sense of our self esteem & self importance. Self esteem is important, we need to value ourseves. Self importance can be the route to all sorts of problems. Maybe if we thought of ourselves as a grain of sand we would get some perspective of our real importance & be more content with what we have.   

Who's In Charge?

I have long thought that if there were a more representative balance of the sexes in governments around the world, we might avoid much of the catastrophic power, testosterone, territorial & personal aggrandisment, decision making we have to tolerate. Worse, the repercussions of poor decision making, that seem to lead more and more to aggression & war. 

Women’s voices are simply not heard in the same way as men's. Women are told that they are too too assertive or organised. The word "too" is actually putting them down. We all have an "Inner Critic" voice, but I think it is louder in women. We tell ourselves that we are "too" something. We try try to adjust / adapt to other peoples expectations because we have “overstepped” them. Our other voice, the "Compassionate Friend" is silenced, because we want to be accepted as equal. Women can be too ready to accept other peoples opinion of them. Including other women, who aren't necessarily supportive. 

Women are, to a great extent, silenced by Capitalism & the Patriarchy. Many feminist & socialist analyses argue that capitalism exploits womens labour & devalues their care work. It creates a system that reinforces patriarchal norms & inequality. Capitalism relies on social constructs like gender to divide workers and generate profits, often pushing women into low-wage jobs while assigning them the unpaid burden of domestic and care work. Furthermore, the system's focus on profit can undermine social safety nets and access to essential services, leaving vulnerable women even more exposed and with fewer avenues to speak out against exploitation. Patriarchal societies often limit women's opportunities and decision-making power, resulting in gender-based discrimination and inequality. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, and anxiety.

This can make women “less than” in the pecking order. Assertiveness is not tolerated, it's called aggression or an emotional reaction. The result is under representation of women in decision making. The hierarchy determines that men are in charge & set the rules. 

 

Women are more consensual, they actually listen & are prepared to change & give way. The question is, do we give way too much? I'm beginning to wonder whether it is possible to set group rules, which are determined by members, with no one as titular leader. 

 

The big difficulty is that once a leader is in control & has power, they are very unwilling to loose that. I do believe that organisations need limited terms of office. They need fresh blood, with different experience & new ideas, in order to change, as our world changes. Without that they become bogged down in a morass & are impossible to move or change for the better. 

 

Women have different experience & skills. We silence their voice to the detriment of everyone.

 

 

 

Duplicity & Cheating.

Human relationships are endlessly fascinating. We all have so many different motivations & ways of behaving. I sometimes wonder how well we understand ourselves & our own behaviour. But introspection is possibly not common to all. Many people simply react, emotionally, or just in their own best interest, regardless of the impact on others. If that were not true we wouldn't have wars. In order to be prepared to fight you have to be able to "other" the people you fight with. You can't see them as human beings.

Similarly in disagreements. If you can't accept that the person you disagree with has a right to their opinion, or possibly even a valid point, then you are arrogantly "othering" them. 

Duplicity is deceitful behaviour, speech or thoughts. Saying or doing one thing to one person & something different to another. It is "contradictory doubleness" of intent. In simple terms it is being "two faced". Cheating is deceptive actions to gain an unfair advantage. In relationships it is infidelity, not necessarily sexual, emotional too.

The older I get, the more I believe that we need to be more open & honest in our dealings with eachother. It seems to me that people are becoming more & more dogmatic about their beliefs & end up in "bunkers", often religious ones. Religion generally has a lot to answer for. But more & more, our behaviour & beliefs are being determined by the press, the media & social media. They are the new "religions".

  

How did we get to this point? I think that it started in 1979 when Thatcher came to power in the UK & Reagan followed in America in 1981. Thatcher was Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990. She presided over a social revolution in which nationally owned industries were privatised and the welfare state was drastically reduced in size. She famously said "they (people) are casting their problems on society and who is society? There is no such thing! There are individual men and women and there are families".

To my mind, that gave rise to the instant gratification, self centred, outlook we see so prevalent today. People are social animals. We need to find a way of working together for the good of all. There needs to be fairness & real justice, not the sham democracy we accept today. Everyone for themselves, if not checked, will lead to the complete breakdown of society as I have known it.