Acknowledgement, Apologies & Forgiveness.

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. There are always different perceptions & ways of looking at things. Sometimes we say & do things in the heat of the moment, or thoughtlessly, that we wish we hadn't. If you don't think that applies to you then you are seriously misguided, deluded even.

Some of us are quick to acknowledge when we have made a mistake. Sometimes it may take a while to realise a mistake has been made. Ultimately it is important to understand that we have been wrong in thought, deed, or inaction. When that happens, not only should we acknowledge it to ourselves, but to others if they are involved. Trying to escape responsibility for our words, actions or inactions helps no one, least of all ourselves. It is important to recognise our own fallibility.

I do wonder about apologies though. Yes, I do tend to apologise for my mistakes & misdemeanors. I find the thought that I may have done something wrong, or worse, hurt someones feelings, difficult to deal with. But more & more I wonder whether the currency of apology has been devalued. It seems to me that sometimes apologies are glib, not genuine, just a way to take the heat out of the moment. On the other hand occasionally, when all that is needed is a genuine apology, one is withheld. I'm thinking, for example, about NHS mistakes. The fear of law suits means that medics are told not to apologise. For an apology to be meaningful It has to be genuine so that the recipient can accept it. 

We all have that inner bullshit detector. We tend to know when someone is evading responsibility or being honest.

When someone makes a real apology we have to find a way to genuinely accept it & forgive. It's a two way street with obligations on both parts. All of this is a problem because our emotions are involved. Emotions tend to blur reality & sometimes lead to irrational behaviour. If something has hurt us physically or emotionally we have to try to overcome that in order to accept that a mistake was made & the perpetrator is sorry. It's a big deal on both sides. I would argue that it shows the best of humanity.

 

Anger gets us nowhere. Anger changes nothing for the better. Anger hurts the angry person more than the person they are angry at. Anger is a bitter pill to swallow. 

Humanity has made huge progress, but unless we can learn to acknowledge, apologise & forgive we are still living in caves of our own making.