Cupboards cleared out. The stuff for charity shops put in the car port for people to help themselves because there was so much it blocked the hallway. Old slides & photos digitised & made into family photo books for my daughter & grandsons. Numerous Zooms & Webinars with various charities - I'm extremely well informed about the climate crisis. Also a really interesting one yesterday with Netgear because it's even more important to have good WiFi now. I spend half my day or more on the computer. I discovered that I need a Mesh system. Regular conversations of various sorts with friends, but very few face to face ones. Books read, fiction & non fiction. TV watched - very little live, mostly the stuff I record on the PVR. I still can't watch daytime TV though, it feels too sinful. I have eaten better, because I have cooked virtually everything from scratch. I've even made two cakes.
What I haven't done is any exercise - swimming is the only thing that doesn't cause significant pain. I also haven't done anything creative - I'm really disappointed in myself. With all this time, I really thought I would.
There is no plan, to my day, my week or the months ahead. There is nothing in my diary. I have a holiday booked in September, but I hope they cancel it because I don't want to go on public transport. I can't see how it would be the holiday experience I wanted anyway. My life is lived from minute to minute & hour to hour, day to day & week to week. It does all seem to be going very quickly, which is counter intuitive.
For the first time in my life I am beginning to feel my age. There is no focus. Both my voluntary jobs ceased more than 88 days ago. I couldn't carry on ushering for the Playhouse theatre or being on reception at NOA Community centre because they were such public jobs. I knew from the outset that Covid 19 would be dangerous for me. Swimming almost daily meant going out & walking through Summertown. I would always meet someone I knew. I now realise just how important actually being in life is. Living is not enough, you need to be a participant.
What matters is the quality of life lived, not just existing. Most people can find things to do, even if it is just cleaning & tidying, but not indefinitely. We are social animals. So even if, like me, you are used to being solitary without feeling lonely, you do need human contact, both physical & emotional.
The thing I'm now realising through experience is that people become conditioned & indoctrinated relatively easily. Who would have thought in March that wearing face masks would be routine? We thought Asians were silly wearing them in Oxford. It puts wearing the niquab into a different context too. I doubt that the psychological effects of Covid 19 will be particularly beneficial.
I am going to have to go out more. Because if I don't I may not be able to return to "normal".
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