How Are You?

I'm fine, how are you?

That's the typical response from the majority of people, regardless of the truth. There are a few people who will download all their current & past symptoms, but most of us don't. We Brits assume that it's a rhetorical question, that no one is actually really interested. Also, heaven forbid, most of us don't want to bore the listener. Again, apart from the few who don't have the capacity to read body language!

The thing is that you have to wonder why we ask the question in the first place? Like so much social interaction it's a bit formulaic. Our conversations about the weather fall into the same category.

Actually you can't have deep and meaningful conversations with everyone you meet. We need the non committal, non controversial, conversation gambits to ease social interaction. We have to carefully select the people we want to have real conversations with.

That's what friendship is about. Being able to tell someone everything & listen properly to them too. The people you can talk to about anything & everything should be treasured. They are few & far between.

We all need both - friends & acquaintances, especially as families are splintered & separated much more now than they used to be. Historically families stayed close, in both senses of the word, in a way that has largely disappeared now. Families really knew you through years of living together. You knew you could rely on family for support & comfort.

We have created a country full of lonliness & isolation.
https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/loneliness-research/

We also have worrying levels of mental illness in our children.
https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/mental-health-of-children-and-young-people-in-england/2017/2017

I think we really need to look at the detrimental effects of the way we live today. If we ask "How are you?" perhaps we should think about what we are saying & try to really be interested in the response - Not accepting a bland, non committal reply.