Care - less or Careless?

I read something about a Careless Driver recently. It is an offence and he was being sentenced
The fixed penalty for careless driving is now £100 with 3 points on the driver’s licence. The most serious examples will continue to go through court, where offenders may face higher penalties.

Statutory Limitations & Maximum Penalty:  

• On indictment - 5 years imprisonment,
• On summary trial - 6 months imprisonment.
• Minimum mandatory disqualification -12 months.
• Mandatory endorsement 3 -11 points.
• Discretionary re-test (s.36(4) RTOA 1988

It made me wonder what we mean by the term carelss. Do we mean the person literally didn't care at all about the possible outcome of their carelessness? Or do we mean their attention was distracted by something, or they were thinking about something else & had a lapse of concentration? It does matter because if it is the latter don't we all have careless lapses? Isn't that quite human? We aren't perfect & can't always rule our brain.

On the other hand if we literally couldn't care less about anything we do, that seems to me to be more culpable. Any action or non action has a consequence. We need to be aware of that & take steps to avoid harm.

The young are said to be careless in that they are freer than when they are adults and aren't weighed down with the cares of their lives & the world. It does seem true that as we age cares weigh upon us more than they did when we were "footloose & fancy free".

How much should we care? The life of "carers" can be a hard one. Their lives have to be subsumed to the needs of others. Are we entitled to care less for them & care more for ourselves? Aren't we as important as those we care for?

I don't have the answers, but I do think maybe we use the term without thinking. Should we punish something which may have consequences which we did not intend & which to a certain extent we can't control or forsee. (Not just in the sphere of driving).

Can we be expected to care all the time, about everything? Don't we deserve the right to be carefree sometimes?

Mind - fullness and Meditation

My mind is definitely full. There is no space for anything else - no spare memory. Indeed it is so full that I have to resort to a diary and 2 different types of calendar, plus an ever changing list in a notebook, plus "Post It's" in obvious places. No one has yet devised an external hard drive or memory stick that I can plug in to me.

Sometimes I feel that there are just too many things going on in my life at the same time. I would like some down time. I would love a notebook empty of reminders of things I have to do & things I'm waiting for others to do. It never happens. As I cross things off new ones are added. How can retirement be so busy and demanding?

I have books to read and paintings to paint. At this rate I won't live long enough!

Therefore the idea of Meditation to quieten the mind is very appealing. My brain needs a rest. I don't want to wear it out by perpetual motion. I need it to keep functioning. There is a lot of dross in there clogging up the works. I have been on weekend retreats before, but not Buddhist ones. I did meditate regularly for years, but that was scuppered by the events of 2009.

I have returned from this weekend in a state of complete exhaustion rather than a state of Bliss. I struggled to stay awake in the teachings & the meditation. It's hard working trying to stop your brain from thinking. Try it. There are always thoughts that sneak in & try to kick out any calm.

I usually only meditate for 20 - 30 minutes, so some of the sessions were too long for me. I ended up in pain & very stiff. There were also too many sessions, so we were in the same room for most of the day & evening. I also usually have a focus for the meditation - the breath, a candle flame, a flower, good fortune, loving kindness.... These were just like switching a light on and off.

Meditation reciting from a liturgy and songs was completely new to me. I liked the repetition of the songs / chants, but the recited liturgy used a whole new vocabulary that I don't understand. It would have been useful to have a dictionary.

I met some nice people & had an interesting time. It's made me want to return to meditation practice.
 
Lama or Guru wanted - willing student. Is there anyone out there?

Shame, Guilt, & Regret

This trio of emotions about things that have happened, whether things we have done, or things we haven't and should have, can be destructive & are certainly negative. Whatever the act of commission or omission, it is done, in the past & can't be undone.

I think I have lived a fairly ordinary life, but I have definitely done things I shouldn't have. Things that probably hurt other people or things that would have hurt them had they known about them. I do regret my human weakness, but not to the extent that it weighs me down, being forever in my thoughts. I think that would be a waste of time & emotion. It wouldn't undo anything. It wouldn't make what I've done any less wrong. It wouldn't make anything right & it wouldn't be positive.

There are only a few things, fortunately, that I now see as shameful. But I don't go around cloaked in guilt. I can regret them happening without that regret ruining my life. As we age we should achieve greater understanding of ourselves & others. If we can learn from our mistakes & become better human beings we develop the skills of sympathy & empathy. We refine our moral code, that nagging thing in our gut that guides our behaviour. The important thing is to acknowledge the action or inaction & the impact of that on others.

Only a few, relatively, have done things so shameful that there is little possibility of forgiveness or redemption. For them we have to find ways of  justice & ways of stopping them from harming others.

Shame, guilt & regret should not be a burden which weighs most of us down & stops us from moving forward freely in a better way. We shouldn't be laden like donkeys. We should be able to trot or gallop onwards. Free spirits able to fly or amble as we chose.

"First do no harm" - Hippocrates. Seems straightforward enough to me, (but not easy to achieve).