Well actually more than a hundred. Being hopefully optimistic that my move to Oxford will actually take place at last, I have been going through my cupboards. Even though I tell myself I have never been a shopper, I seem to have an inordinate amount of stuff I want / need to let go of.
I have now got several piles. Antique furniture & effects to go to auction - antique & vintage effects to maybe sell on Ebay or Preloved - things that aren't worth the commission the auctioneers charge to sell, that will go to a charity. There is also some stuff for the tip. It is strangely satisfying & compulsive to divest myself of things accumulated over a lifetime.
Most things have a memory attached, mostly of my married life & friends or family. Even so I have no compunction about divesting myself of them. The people will live on in my memory without tangible reminders - well, until I am really senile & by then nothing will help. I really do want to be free of all the clutter & I certainly don't want to be polishing wood, silver, copper or brass. I also don't want to pack anything here and unpack it in Oxford, only to get rid of it there. Life is too short & is getting shorter by the minute!
The things I have most problems with are old clothes I like & comfortable shoes. There is a pecking order in my wardrobe - Posh stuff, (which gets less & less of an outing now) - Casual stuff I wear all the time, mostly trousers. My legs don't see daylight often! - Old comfortable stuff for gardening, housework & walking. This is the most difficult. There's plenty of wear left in it, and I like it, so it's hard to throw it out. But I really won't be doing much gardening, housework or walking in my new life, so it has to go. I hope the charities will send it to someone who needs it or re-cycle it.
I have a vision of my new life. It involves a huge personality re-adjustment. I intend to be selfish & try to enjoy my life a lot. I intend to be fairly lazy & not rush about ticking jobs off a list. I will get up late & stay out late. If I don't feel like doing something / going somewhere I won't & I won't apologise either. I will please myself, as there isn't anyone else who will make any effort to please me. This may all be more difficult than I can imagine after a lifetime of putting others first at work and at home, but I'm going to give it a good try.
I won't wear purple, it's not a good look on me. I doubt if I will spit or swear in the street. But apart from that I think Jenny Joseph got it about right in her poem "Warning". I've had enough of sobriety to last a lifetime.
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