Really Moving?

A buyer from last Autumn has come back and I've accepted their offer on my house. Now I vacillate between subdued positivity, (always prepared for things to go pear shaped - I accept the worst case scenario & then understand that it is statistically unlikely to happen), and quiet concern about the enormity at what I'm doing on my own.

I tend to know my own mind & am quite decisive. I couldn't have done my job if I wasn't. This is different. This is a leap into the unknown, leaving behind the life I've created since widowhood & all the local friends who have supported me through the last 4 years. The thought of having to do that all over again is difficult. However I know if I don't bite the bullet it will only get harder as I get older.

As a wife I always had someone permanently available to discuss things with. Someone who had a very different perspective to me & whose opinion I valued. Now, basically, I'm solely responsible for every decision & action, although friends do help by talking through stuff.

It isn't just the decision making. It's the thought of trawling through all my stuff & rigorously giving away everything that doesn't have a purpose for me, or isn't something I enjoy having in my home. A lot of things which were part of my married life will have to go, because I will be downsizing. My daughter advises me to let the removers do all the packing & theoretically that is sensible. But I need to go through everything to select what will go to my downsized life, so I might as well pack some things while I'm doing that. I don't want to be unpacking stuff I won't keep & taking up space in my new home.

The most difficult thing is the fact that Oxford is a completely different house market to rural Gloucestershire. There is very little for sale & a lot of cash buyers. So property sells very quickly - you really don't have the luxury of thinking about it. A property I wanted went to sealed bids on Friday with 6 offers & sold for £40,000 over the asking price. Living with my daughter temporarily doesn't appear to be an option & the thought of moving to rented & then going through the whole thing again when I finally find somewhere is daunting.

So, I just have to be calm & patient & accept that "che sera sera". I can't control any of it. I just have to try to nudge things in the right direction.