Ageing Hippies.- A Geriatric Commune?

I know I don't want to live with my daughter & her family, & I'm sure she wouldn't want that either. Not unless I can have my own accommodation & my own front door which I can shut when I want to.

I also know I don't want to live in "sheltered accommodation" or anything similar, with people I don't know, in various stages of decrepitude. Ageing ghettos have no appeal whatsoever.

What I would really like to do is build somewhere designed specifically for a community of like minded ageing friends. I want it to be very eco friendly, low maintenence & high tech. Preferably a  "passive haus" construction, with every aid known to wo/man, for my generation, who are likely to live for ages in various states of health. It would have broadband, hi fi, phone & TV access in every room with plugs at dado level instead of the ridiculous skirting board level we all have now. Every aspect of design would be geared specifically to us, but beautiful & pleasing.

We would all have our own ensuite bedroom, kitchen / breakfast room, sitting room / study. There would also be a communal sitting room which converted to a TV / cinema room if we wanted to be gregarious, & a communal dining room for pot luck suppers. Or if we didn't want to cook we could order in M&S cook chill delicacies / take aways to eat together. Not to mention a pool & gym complex for those of us who wanted to keep fit. (I quite fancy the idea of our own trainer too, young & fit preferably!)  A communal laundry would also be good, not to mention a craft room. I imagine we would want friends & family to visit so there would have to be a few spare bedrooms.There would be pleasant gardens & a good veg patch for self sufficiency.

We would share the running costs & there would be economies of scale for heating, lighting, cleaning, gardening & maintenence. (It might well be a good idea to have a live in couple to do those jobs). You could also have various alternative therapists visiting us, so maybe we need a therapy room too. We could be as independent as we wanted to & as gregarious as we felt like. It doesn't need to be sited in a city, although I'm not averse to that, because we could have a mini bus available to take us out shopping or on trips. It should be reasonably close to a GP surgery & dentist - you've got to be realistic!

I would love to design and build something like that, I just need someone else to share the costs. It strikes me that it is the only way to go. We middle aged people need to take control of our own destiny. We have money, we know what we want & don't want. We certainly can't rely on the state any more & private developers are just after a quick buck & we are the geese laying the golden eggs.

There must be someone out there who thinks this is a good idea?

CV

Have just done this in response to a phone call asking me to apply for another voluntary job when my current stint with the HTA comes to an end in November. How nice to be asked & how interesting to encapsulate my working life into a sheet of A4. Odd to realise that because of early medical retirement, my working life was only 25 years and my volunteering life has now been 21 years. I had no idea. Pleased that the brain is working even if the body isn't and someone still finds that useful.

Waldtraut (Val) Carlill                                      20^th J anuary 2012.

GL5 5DG

Tel – 01453 872331

carlillfamily@amberley.org.uk

Qualification

1966 - Teachers Certificate (Degree Equivalent) – Trent Park College of Education London.

Employment

1986 – 1991 - Head Teacher – Kennet Valley Primary School Berkshire. A large Primary school with approximately 400 pupils, 15 professional staff & 17 ancilliary staff.

• Created a Senior Management Team.
• Created a Management & Support Team.
• Produced policy documents on Curriculum & Administration.
• Set up a Governing Body structure with sub committees.
• Devised & introduced a system of Appraisal.

Skills

• Interpersonal skills – Team building.
• Conflict resolution & problem solving.
• Organisation & administration.
• Communication & listening skills.

IT Skills

City & Guilds Information Technology level 1 – Word, Excel, Access, Internet & Power Point.

Languages

Basic knowledge of German.

Licenses & Certificates

• Drivers license – 40+ years – clean.
• London College of Music – Pianoforte – Senior.

Current Voluntary Work

• Member of the Independent Monitoring Board of Gloucester prison.
• Lay member of the Health Technologies Assessment panel for psychological & community therapies.

Previous Voluntary Work

• Magistrate – 11 years – Qualified chairperson – Youth, Licensing, Defaulters, Specified & Adult panels. Mentor to new Magistrates.
• Mediator with Resolve charity.
• Expert Patient Programme – On line facilitator & community tutor.
• Patient Participation Group – Minchinhampton surgery.

Interests

Travel, Art & Music, Gardening, Walking, Swimming, Reading & Cooking.

Beauty - Applied & Inner

The face I see in the mirror in the morning is no longer "a thing of beauty & a joy to behold". Life & ageing has taken it's toll. I can improve matters by applying "slap", but mostly don't. I'm far too busy doing other things to spare the time, which is interesting because when I was young & more attractive I wouldn't go out of the house without the full makeup.

I tell myself that what matters is my mind & my personality & it would be fighting a losing battle anyway. Not sure that is true. I think that making an effort to look good gives you confidence & shows that you value yourself. Anyway, I'm not trying to attract a mate, or sell myself to get a job, so mostly I am unadorned & in very casual clothes.

I have several friends who have a similar attitude & I value them for who they are. But I also have a couple of friends who are always immaculately turned out & made up & I value them too. After all they are my friends, I have chosen them for good reasons. So, fundamentally it doesn't matter - we chose on the basis of the personality & values & how those fit with us.

People don't have to be beautiful or perfect in any way to be worthwhile. So I do find it worrying how every aspect of modern life seems to be based on outward appearance. Anyone in the public eye, from politicians to C list celebrities seems to feel the need to "sell" themselves. Worse still, we seem to "buy" on that very superficial value judgement. That puts a huge pressure on the role models themselves and on their followers who try to emulate them.

So I will probably go the way of all grey haired wrinklies & become invisible in the modern world. But I know that I was once quite attractive - I have the photos to prove it. I also know that I have a wealth of experience & expertise & a never failing interest in everything around me. As everyone of my age seems to say - inside, basically I'm still the same 20 year old - but better.

Presents 2

It's my birthday - creeping nearer to 70 - can't believe it! It's the first time in my life that I have been on my own on my birthday, (chest infection), & it really wasn't that bad. I am lucky, I have some good friends & communication is so varied. So, apart from the usual varied selection of cards & the phone calls, I've had facebook posts, Skype messages & texts & friends popping in.

I know my friends are mostly organised & have diaries, but I do appreciate that they remember. I'm also intrigued that Facebook & Skype must post a reminder of some sort. Communication is so much easier & quicker than it was. It does mean a lot to be remembered though.

I saved a couple of presents from Christmas so I would have something to open. (Not seeing my daughter till Wednesday). But, much as I enjoyed the surprises, it wasn't the presents which were important. I had messages & cards from people I wouldn't have expected to. I chatted to people I don't necessarily see particularly regularly. I felt surrounded by affection. That's got to be worth so much more than being showered with gifts - & it's free.

Did mean to open a bottle of bubbly - but somehow I never got round to it. So didn't even need booze to make it a lovely day.

Book Club

I have just started a book club with some women friends. The inaugural meeting was really interesting. We have 12 members & they each had to say what they were reading at the moment & suggest a book for us all to read. We will read a different book each month.

I'm really looking forward to widening the scope of my reading & recommendations from other people seems a really good thing to me. Indeed the suggestions were very eclectic & we had to limit the number. I tend to go for particular genres - travel, politics, crime - both fiction & non fiction ......So I'm hoping to widen the field a bit. I also tend to read everything an author I like has written, so variety will be welcome.

But as well as the obvious benefits in terms of the reading, the women in the group were very different & widening my social contacts will be good too. I have had to work quite hard at not becoming insular & isolated now I'm widowed. I think I am surprised at the effort maintaining a social network takes when you are a single. Sometimes it does all seem like too much effort & it is easier to just stick to your routine & familiar things. I also have to travel a lot more to see old friends, which means I have to do all the driving, whereas Dave always used to drive.

It can all be quite exhausting, but the pain, (very real in my case), is more than worth the gain. I have done more in the last 3 years than I ever did before. I also have the confidence building satisfaction that I have done it myself. When you are part of a couple you don't need to make the effort, because you have eachother. I have found that women in particular are very encouraging & supportive.

I'm really looking forward to this. I've never done it before, but I think it will be great fun - hopefully not too intellectual! 

Meat & 2 Veg

I don't remember a lot about my early childhood - I've probably blocked it out. It was very definitely "working class", although that isn't why I have blocked it out. I do remember how limited food choices were though. I even have a vague memory of when sugar came off ration. (I was born in 1945). Before that there were no sweets & I remember being given cocoa powder mixed with sugar as a dip in a "cornet" of paper. I also remember a big treat was being able to lick out a tin of condensed milk.

My mother was of the meat & 2 veg school of cookery & the veg were not cooked unless simmered for a good 20 minutes. Consequently the idea of "bite" in veg was unknown. We always had potatoes & "proper" gravy - None of your Bisto rubbish. Chicken was a special treat for Sunday lunch, which was always a "roast", & I think we also had it for Christmas. We were used to German food, as she was originally from Germany, having arrived well before 1939 on her way to Australia. So I had Buckling (fish), & sauerkraut (cabbage) & dill pickles (gherkins). We regularly had red cabbage, which at the time was little known as a cooked vegetable. Menus tended to be repeated with little variation, on the same day every week. Always fish on Friday. Everything, needless to say, was cooked from fresh ingredients, because the ideas of "cook chill", "fast food", "take away", (apart from fish & chips), or anything "convenience" simply didn't exist - except for tinned food. We didn't have a fridge or a freezer so food was mostly bought on a daily basis.

My mother was very good at cakes & pastry, so once rationing was over we did have those. Her "pound cake" & "gugelhupf" were gorgeous. She also did fantastic pancakes with apples or plums. She did potato pancakes with jam, which sounds vile, but I loved. German cookery mixes sweet with sour quite often.When I was in Junior school & we went shopping in Birmingham, a special treat was to have a "knickerbocker glory" ice cream in a big department store called Lewis's.

When I was at college in the mid 60's & sharing a house, the fact that I could cook was very handy. The menus were more adventurous than my mother's, but still fairly limited. So we did do spag' bol' but none of the huge range of pasta dishes we are used to today. Campbells condensed soups were useful as the basis of things like tuna (tinned) bake.

Even after I got married, as soon as I left college, meat & 2 veg was probably the staple of my new status as housewife. I did enjoy cooking though & liked trying new recipes from magazines & cookery books. It was all within a very tight budget, & I can remember producing egg & chips on consecutive days when the housekeeping money ran out. I made my own yoghurt in the airing cupboard & bottled fruits & made jams & pickles.

Two things that made my cooking more adventurous were becoming a vegetarian & having 2 salaries when I returned to teaching after my daughter started nursery. By then we also had a wider range of convenience foods, so there were the delights of Vesta Curries, Angel Delight & Instant Whip for example - None of which would pass my lips today!

As a more established, middle class, married couple we also started having dinner parties which required hours of preparation for 3 course meals for up to 8 people. This required at least 2 starters, 2 mains & 2 puddings + cheese & biscuits, coffee, chocolates & liquers. Thank God for "pot luck suppers" now, & far more simple & quick recipes!

I really appreciate the plethora of ingredients & influences that we have available to us now. Cookery books are almost food porn, lavishly illustrated & simple to follow -As are some chefs TV cookery programmes. A huge variety of ingredients are available, year round, from the 4 corners of the world. (What a silly saying, the world doesn't have corners). Therfore it is mystifying to me why so many people don't cook from scratch or even eat together. We have no control over what is in food which is processed in some way. It is more expensive & less healthy than cooking from scratch.

It seems to me that we are paying the price for this laziness in the health time bomb which is ticking away. New generations won't be able to cook or appreciate the difference between mass produced & home cooked food. The joys of family conversation around the meal table have already died the death in favour of meals "on the hoof" or on a tray infront of the TV / video game. All the glossy cookery books must be languishing on many shelves & TV cookery programmes are just  entertainment.

Food should be a pleasure to the eye & the taste buds. It should nourish & stimulate. Good conversation & food should go together & encourage sharing of the meal & our lives. What a shame if we lose this simple way of nourishing our soul, bodies & relationships.  

Presents

I am schizophrenic about presents. On the one hand I love surprises & have always wanted to be showered with gifts, (sadly it's never happened!) On the other hand I really don't want any more "stuff" & the chances of buying me something that I really like are slim. A lot ends up in the "present drawer" or the charity shop.

The obvious solution is to give a list to the giver, but this always rather destroys the whole meaning of giving I think, & makes it very mechanistic & unromantic. Nowadays I am hard pushed to even do this because I really have more than enough things, & if there is something I want I am able to get it straight away instead of waiting for a birthday or Christmas.

So I have taken the line of least resistance & agreed with most friends that we will not exchange gifts. This has the added benefit of getting me out of shopping, which I find a time & money wasting exhausting chore. There have been so many hours of my life lost trying to find a really great gift for someone that I am confident that they will like & haven't already got.

Giving money is a cop out, book or CD tokens are marginally better. At least the recipient can buy something they do want. I am always reading & love music. So for me tokens are always welcome if not inspired.

Giving to children is no easier. They all seem to have everything their little hearts desire & who can possibly keep track of what they have or haven't got? There doesn't seem to be any anticipation or saving up to buy something they really want for themselves, so that the gift is really appreciated. Christmas & birthdays just seem to be a frenzy of unwrapping & moving on to the next thing. Or tantrums because they haven't got the latest "must have" toy or game.

Having said all this I do think it's lovely to see someone's face when they get a surprise that they really like. I do think that the giving is much more enjoyable that the receiving if you get it right.

2012 begins with a bang

11 minutes of New Year London fireworks cost £1.9 million - the start of a year of huge expenditure on the Olympics & the Queens Diamond Jubilee. I don't understand where the money is coming from. Nor do I understand how the figures purporting to show how much income will be generated for the country from these events are arrived at. Is it a true rigorous science, or is it a figure plucked out of the air by PR Guru's? I do understand the maxim that you have to speculate to accumulate, but who does the cost benefit analysis & how accurate do they turn out to be after the event?

If we the people have to genuinely suffer privation & austerity, thinking about how we spend our dwindling incomes on the necessities of our lives, because of Government policy, how are we to understand the fact that such huge sums of money are available for events which cannot be said to be necessities. If we are to tolerate real cutbacks in health, education & social services, & people of all ages, skills, expertise & experience are to lose their jobs, we have a right to know that Government spending is sensible and proportionate.

In my view our political leaders think they are playing Monopoly & are about as accountable as the Monopoly banker.  It used to be that hunderds of thousands of pounds was a lot of money, then we talked in millions, now even billions are not enough. They are such vast sums that we simply cannot comprehend them.

Why does the host country alone pay for the Olympics & why does it have to be such a mega event? Why couldn't the participating countries have a sort of "pot luck supper" with everyone contributing something to the event? Its become like the dinner parties of my 20's & 30's when each hostess tried to outdo everyone else with 3 starters, 2 mains & 3 puddings! None of us could keep up the pace & now we are much more sensible & the meals are much more relaxed & enjoyable.

The Queen has done a pretty good job & I wouldn't want to have been her despite all her wealth & privilege. We should mark the remarkable achievements of her reign. But let's not forget that her life bears no resemblance whatsoever to that of her subjects. I have no idea what the shindig celebrating her jubilee will cost, but I doubt if it will be a sum most of her subjects can relate to, other than in the context of winning the Euromillions.

As for procurement for the forces - don't get me started!

Get a grip Cameron - prioritise, & if you are going to be stringent be fair about it.