Death & Afterlife

I think there is an invisible wall between people who have / have not experienced the death of someone they are very close to. This results in a disconnect at the very time when the berieved are most in need of love and support. Many people simply don't know what to do, how to behave, how to show they care. So initial awkwardness sometimes leads to the loss of a friendship.

Serious illness, tragedy & death are very negative & sometimes people don't want to be closely involved with this. In our culture I feel there is also an intimacy barrier. Having to face the raw emotions of a friend or neighbour in this situation is something many shy away from. Also sometimes berieved people who have revealed their deep emotions feel they have gone too far and shared too much. My feeling is that it's better to do something rather than nothing, better to show you care as soon as possible and for as long as it is needed. It isn't about you, it's about the berieved.

We accept life as our right and due. We should be able accept death in the same way. Grief should be liberating, the open door to a new life. After the funeral all too often everything stops. The communications and invitations from friends get less & further apart. This is understandable given the frantic pace of many people's lives. We all have to make our own life & get on with it. Stepping into a new world when you are alone is quite hard though.

So you really do value the real friends, the ones who do make the effort to include you & do offer help when it's needed. They are very special, a treasure beyond compare. I am very thankful for all of mine. I would have managed without them, but not very well.