People apparently fall into these two categories. What am I - what are you? I hope I'm the latter. It's such a simple image - bringing a little warmth into the lives of those we meet. I do make an effort to ask people about their lives & listen when they tell me. I also try to empathise & sympathise if they have problems.
That's where the "drains" come in though. There is a limit to how often I want to hear the same problems, especially if those concerned don't seem to have made any effort to sort them out for themselves. People often just want to "dump" on you & aren't interested in any solutions or advice. So I try not to give any now. The chances are that what would work for me won't for them anyway.
A one sided conversation does drain the listener & actually serves very little useful purpose. I have now realised that my life is too short to be depressed by someone else's problems - I actually have enough of my own to deal with. I also think I have a right not to be bored by perpetual moaners. (Fortunately few of my friends are - that's why they are my friends).
Having said all that, if it's a reciprocal conversation & a friend is interested in me too, that's a completely different thing. That's a supportive friendship, which we all need. The trick is to be able to laugh together at adversity & see the funny side of life - which is a bitch lets face it. Friends make you feel you can cope, you can carry on, you can rely on them to share your life & make it better in some way. So a "radiator" is a good description. People who are warm & caring are a joy to be with. I do hope I am.
That's where the "drains" come in though. There is a limit to how often I want to hear the same problems, especially if those concerned don't seem to have made any effort to sort them out for themselves. People often just want to "dump" on you & aren't interested in any solutions or advice. So I try not to give any now. The chances are that what would work for me won't for them anyway.
A one sided conversation does drain the listener & actually serves very little useful purpose. I have now realised that my life is too short to be depressed by someone else's problems - I actually have enough of my own to deal with. I also think I have a right not to be bored by perpetual moaners. (Fortunately few of my friends are - that's why they are my friends).
Having said all that, if it's a reciprocal conversation & a friend is interested in me too, that's a completely different thing. That's a supportive friendship, which we all need. The trick is to be able to laugh together at adversity & see the funny side of life - which is a bitch lets face it. Friends make you feel you can cope, you can carry on, you can rely on them to share your life & make it better in some way. So a "radiator" is a good description. People who are warm & caring are a joy to be with. I do hope I am.
No comments:
Post a Comment