Habit & Routine

I get up between 7.30 - 8.00 year round. I generally don't have anything particular to get up for, so I could make a mug of tea, go back to bed & read a book. I don't, it's a habit.

I wash, then have breakfast in my pyjamas - cereal, porridge, toast, or yogurt, with a mug of tea. Not much variation there. I get dressed & brush my teeth. I wash up once a day in the morning, not worth using a dishwasher for one. I make my bed & put a clothes wash in the machine if necessary.

By then it's about 9.30 - 10.00 so I have a mug of filter coffee, which really gets to the parts tea doesn't reach. I drink it catching up with my emails, checking my Blog & Facebook page. I spend far too much time on my desktop. But it's the way I keep up with friends all over the world, the news, & the charities I support.

By then it's time to walk to the pool to swim. 36 lengths, about half a mile, just over half an hour, 4-5 times a week. I have to do it because it keeps me reasonably mobile. It is a strong habit - If I can't do it for some reason I feel really odd. However bad I'm feeling before, I always feel better when I've swum.

Home to lunch. Usually more or less the same things in a sandwich with a mug of tea & piece of fruit. I do a crossword or a codeword while I eat. Actually eating doesn't take long if you are on your own, so doing a puzzle makes it more of a break.

When people ask me what I do all day I struggle to say. Most of it is routine, habit. Not the stuff you talk much about. It is quite time consuming to do everything needed to keep a home & a life running smoothly if you are single. Paperwork, banking, insurance, maintenance, housework, food shopping, cooking.... Then there is socialising, going to the cinema for Screen Arts or to an exhibition or two, & volunteer jobs.

The thing is, all these habitual patterns of behaviour are stopping me from doing things that I want to do, because by the time I have had supper watching the news, I am too tired to do anything. So the evening is generally spent with my feet up watching recorded TV.

I would like to play my piano, paint, draw, work on textiles & embroidery, read more books. I suppose I mean spend more time doing enjoyable things, before it's too late.

When you reach my age you realise that a huge amount of your life has been, & is, routine & habit. We aren't free to be self indulgent & do exactly what we want to, when we want to. In order to do that you have to be very selfish. You have to be prepared not to put others first. You have to be prepared to let the boring stuff slide. You have to be prepared to say no.

I don't seem to be able to break the habits of a lifetime - being organised & conscientious, planning ahead, putting others first. I wish I could, but it's probably too late.

I'm not at all sure whether that is good or bad.