Blame & Grievance

I think we all have a tendency to blame someone or something when things go wrong. It's easier to feel that someone or something is more responsible than we ourselves are. It's a defence mechanism. We avoid negative feelings & try to stop feeling anxiety, Or, conversely, we try to feel a sense of superiority. This may temporarily provide a sense of control or self-protection. Blaming is typically a cognitive distortion that hinders personal growth, prevents emotional regulation, and can lead to resentment and damaged relationships. Basically it's not good for us.

Grievance stems from a real or perceived wrong, hardship, or injustice suffered in life. Something we feel is unfair. I've just been watching "The Count of Monte Christo" by Alexander Dumas. Not a classic that I have read, but perhaps I should. It's an epic tale of suffering, betrayal, escape, adventure, and retribution. The thing is, however the justified the "hero's " grievance is, does it validate the repercussions of his actions on people who had no part in the original heinous act? Also is the effect of harbouring the grievance on the "hero" worth the outcome?

Negative emotions, e.g. anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, guilt, jealousy, apathy & disust, can have negative effects on us. They can eat away at us & cause physical harm if they don't motivate us to change our situation or find solutions to problems. We need to address the underlying causes of negative emotions in order to develop better coping strategies and grow personally. 

Emotions are complex physical and mental responses, involving physiological changes, thoughts, and behavioral reactions, created in the brain. Healthy expression of emotions improves interpersonal communication. The problem is when people aren't able to communicate well & express emotion appropriately. 

All too often we see inappropriate emotional reactions to situations. We seem to have lost our filter, that inner voice that tells us when we have overstepped the mark. When we have gone too far & done more harm than good. 

What we say is as powerful & can be as harmful as what we do. We all need to pause & think before speaking & acting.